Vulnerability
by VoiDreamer
Summary: *Prequel to The Space Between* She was their Commander, their leader, their strength. But beneath her strength was a vulnerability that only he could ever see, a weakness that plagued her and drew him closer. Paring:Garrus x Fem. Shepard
1. Chapter 1: Silent Witness

He could see it in the way she moved; the smallest, almost imperceptible hitch in her otherwise fluid movements. His brilliant blue eyes flickered for a moment to her face and found it perfectly controlled. He would have frowned if he could, but like always he held the emotion back, it wasn't his place to mention anything.

"Commander." He nodded to her as she approached him; her slim form falling in the shadow of his own.

"Garrus," Her slightly too-large eyes stared up at him, nearly forcing him to open his mouth to ask, to try and sort out the conflict. Humans had always seemed so strange to him, so easily hurt and yet so unwilling to show it. But he had always known she was special, that she was strong so that others could be calm, be weaker. He could still remember the first time he had noticed it; noticed her. It had been in the Council Tower on the Citadel after he had just been told he would have to drop his investigation of Saren.

Flashback:

_The resentment he felt burnt its way up his throat, he had spend years working on this case and now… he could feel the rules and regulations of citadel work as they tightened around him. It was enough to make him lose composure, no matter how unsightly a scene it would cause. He could barely think straight much less care about what others thought._

_But before he could find that final reason to push him over the edge he became aware of another presence behind him. An odd presence, tranquil and calm in contrast to his hot anger; it was unsettling enough to make him turn around at once. _

_Whirling around with predatory grace he stopped short as his eyes met the intelligent purple-blue gaze of the human female flanked by two more of the same species. He had heard of her of course, the massacre that had occurred at Akuze had been all over the net, despite the fact that the only victims had been human. Still, that didn't explain how unsettled he felt with those eyes looking up at him, the haunted eyes of a survivor hidden under the veil of strength, the clarity that made him think that she _knew_ him. _

_Feeling slightly foolish he introduced himself anyway._

"Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in the C-Spec Investigation of Saren."

_The woman's eyes flickered briefly at his name but revealed nothing as she took the information in. Then, nodding in the direction that Executor Pallin had walked off she spoke. _

"Sounds like you really want to bring him down."

_It took Garrus a few moments before he could understand who she was talking about. Surely not Pallin, so who? Oh! Saren. The bitterness reared its head once again making it hard to speak for several more moments. When he felt he could finally control the tone of his voice he responded._

"I don't trust him. Something about him rubs me the wrong way. But he's a Spectre, everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence."

_Again those beguiling eyes seemed to brighten a little as she took in the information. He tried to wait impassively as she sought for the proper response, but couldn't stop wondering silently about her presence; the aura of both strength and vulnerability that wrapped itself around this one human woman._

_Turian culture had always frowned on the weak. Those who could not fight were of no use to a society where warriors were born and bred. Even the females had a ferocity that when provoked could border on violence. Still, this human woman intrigued him. _

_"I think the Council's ready for us Commander." _

_Garrus's eyes shifted immediately to the speaker; the male. _

_The Turian officer disliked him on the spot. _

_Still, it was the commander that caught his attention and compelled him to offer what he could._

_"Good luck, Shepard. Maybe they'll listen to you."_

End Flashback:

Then time sped up and seemingly passed them by. He had accepted her offer to become part of her team, not just because he wanted to catch Saren; his blood still boiled at the thought of that Turian disgracing the name of Spectre. But another part of him, the part he refused to allow fully grow, had decided to join because he was curious; curious about the woman who, despite being so small, could fire a shotgun and shrug off the nasty recoil with a simple roll of her shoulders.

And then there were those moments that left him feeling upset and overprotective despite his outward uncaring attitude. He wasn't like the others of her now 6 member landing party, he _felt_ her emotions like no one else. When that human man, Kaiden, had started to flirt with her he had seen her shyness, the panic and vulnerability in her moment of hesitation. He resented the feelings, but worried over the fact that she was staring to act like him. She never seemed to _show_ anything and her pains would have gone unnoticed if he wasn't what he was.

But he was Turian and that was why _he_ worried. He could 'feel' emotion, sense it instead of having to see it. It was part of Turian society, feeling another's emotion, understanding their _heart. _A Turian couple could seemingly never _touch_ one another but the invisible emotional communication, the subtle body movement was always enough to convey the message. Enough to _know_ the person.

And right now was one of those times.

"What are your thoughts on the last mission?" Despite the sensibility of her question Garrus found her tone worrisome. And even more so was the frightening lack of her emotions.

Normally alive with all sorts of feelings she _felt_ oddly empty.

"You mean the destruction of the Thorian?" He tried to respond as he normally would, but found his senses on edge. Something wasn't right.

"Yes…how did you think I…"

He looked at her face and was surprised to find dark smudges under eyes that seemed dulled with fatigue. _She had always made a point to at least look confident and self assured even when she wasn't so why did she look so exhausted…so why did she…_

He had barely identified the reason before she collapsed her body limp in the arms he had used to catch her.

"Commander?!"

"Oh my god!" he could hear Gunnery Sergeant Williams as she ran towards them, "Skipper? Skipper?!"

Garrus gently picked up his Commander as the young Sergeant fretted about and walked smoothly over to the elevator.

"I'll call ahead to the doctor ok?" Ashley said as the door began to close, "I hope she's ok."

_As do I_ Garrus thought privately, and then the door closed.

Looking down at the woman in his arms, Garrus wondered in silence about her as he always did. She was so light, so fragile. He had known she was not always what she seemed. But she had gained his respect, proven time and time again that she could protect herself and he would follow her anywhere. But there were moments such as these that made him wonder if he didn't stick around simply because he wanted to protect her.

Akuze had left its scars on her. The mark on her cheek a small representation of the bigger mark it had left on her life.

There had been more than one occasion when he had heard muffled screams coming from her bedroom on his way up to inspect the bridge. Moments when he'd have to distance himself from the terrible haunted look she got whenever they finished killing a Thresher Maw.

And now it seemed he would have to protect her from something he knew he could never understand, the visions she had received of the Protheans.

He had seen the reaction of Doctor T'soni aftershe had attempted to make sense of the visions the Commander had been exposed to; how exhausted the Asari researcher had been.

But the Commander had remained seemingly untouched, inexhaustible in her drive to bring Saren to justice. _Or had she?_

"Doctor?" Garrus walked into the medical bay, the woman still held close to his chest.

"Yes, Sergeant Williams called ahead," The grey haired physician motioned to one of the beds, "Please, put her down over here."

Garrus deposited his commanding officer as gently as he could and then giving her one quick glance, took leave of the ward, only to be stopped by the doctor's request.

"Garrus, could you get me the Commander's sleep log please? It should be in her quarters."

Without wishing it Garrus's eyes went immediately to the woman now lying quietly on the medical cot, her hair slightly mused and her face entirely unguarded.

"Of course doctor." And within moments he found himself face to face with the plaque labeled 'Shepard' just outside the Commanders' door.

Hesitating for just a moment the Turian placed his taloned hand on the door and watched in reverent silence as the door slid open.

What he found stunned him.

Littered all around the room were Medi-gel packs ripped open, dissected and altered in a way Garrus recognized as the usual formula for stimulants.

He had looked up her background in enough detail to know she had had a tough childhood on Earth, but had she really needed to know how to make _stimulants_ out of the packs? Those were practically _illegal _in every citadel world.

Feeling numb, and slightly terrified, the Turian carefully walked through the cluttered room and pulled the sleeping log out of the bed recorder.

Designed to measure the bodily conditions of a person on a daily basis and their sleep intake, Garrus stared at the small digital board uncomprehending its data for several moments. And when it finally sunk in, the cold terror that crept into his heart could have rivaled that of space.

_Commander…what were you thinking?_

And without another thought he tore out of her room and made his way back to the medical ward, desperately hoping she hadn't accidentally killed herself.

_Total Sleep for the past two weeks…Zero_

_WARNING: Medical Attention needed immediately…_


	2. Chapter 2: Solace

_AN:_ Just wanted to thank ALL of my lovely reviewers for giving me such positive feedback (a special thank you to those who also pointed out where the problems were - I tried to fix them, so _please_ feel free to keep on giving me those comments!)

Also, I wanted to say that I've taken some liberty with the conversations because I thought that it would give a little more depth to my character and those of the crew. However, if indeed I managed to make any character OC please _please_ tell me, as I have only played through the game once and can (and most certainly do) make mistakes.

Thanks again and I hope you all have a lovely New Years Celebration and I'll see you all in 2008!!!

_

* * *

__Beep…_

_Beep…Beep…_

It the barest corners of her consciousness she could sense Doctor Chakwas checking her pulse, checking the various monitors that were making that awful sound. The bed beneath her was warm with her body heat, but sheets scratched at her skin and made her itch.

_Ugh…and why was it so hard to think?_ Why was she laying here in the_…oh…Garrus…_

Nora Shepard suddenly felt she would pass out again, and it wasn't because her body felt as if it was being electrified.

_They_ _had seen her collapse! Everyone would know that she…_her eyes shot open as a violent shudder ran up her spine.

"Commander! Oh thank goodness you're alright!"

Even in the blinding light of the medical pod she could make out the voice to be that of the doctor.

"I'm fine," she whispered, and then in a clearer voice, "I'm fine doctor, so I have to get back on the bridge."

The doctor seemed to tut-tut her for a moment before helping her sit up.

"You know you really should be staying here for the next couple of hours, " she chastised the younger woman as she continued to check blood pressure, breathing, "Even two full days of drug-induced sleep is too little for a full recovery."

The mentioned of the elapsed time brought a near cry from the Commander's lips, "Two days?!"

"Well yes, you needed it and…"

"Does the entire crew know I was out?!" Nora could feel her panic spike higher.

"Well no…we told them you were busy surveying one of the planets …but Commander…"

The tone in the other woman's voice made the Commander look at her.

"Shepard, I understand that this is somewhat of an inconvenient question, but…" Nora stared into the older woman's face unblinking, purple-blue honed on the words about to come out of the others mouth, "have you been getting enough rest?"

The question was startlingly easy to answer, "Yes doctor, I've been getting plenty of sleep."

"But your sleep log said that you haven't had any rest in _two weeks_!"

The commander felt herself chill instantly, "you went into my quarters?" _If that woman had seen all of the altered medi-gel packs then…_

"No, I sent Garrus to retrieve them for me; I was too busy trying to see what was wrong with you. Something seemed off though; your body couldn't seem to stabilize for the longest time, despite the drugs I tried."

_Garrus…_the young, human Commander felt as if her world was fracturing faster by the moment. Of all the people she had never wanted to find her secret it had been him.

Silent, intelligent, and always reliable when the mission would push them past their limits; Garrus had been the one who had immediately gained her respect. And whenever she had had problems or just wanted to talk to someone she had always found herself taking the elevator down just to see him. They had fallen into a sort of easy-going relationship where they could support one another.

But they both had their secrets. She had known that, he had known that. Neither was willing to put into words what it was, too scared that it would destroy the comfort they found in the other. But now he knew hers, and she knew that they would never be able to act like they had for the past several months.

"Did Garrus say anything when he brought back the logs?" She asked, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"No, he didn't. You know how Turians are…quiet and antisocial. " the doctor said as she gave the commander a suspicious look, "Why? What should he have said?"

"Nothing."

The older woman stared hard at her for a moment longer before sighing and tapping the screen in front of her.

"Very well then Commander, if you truly feel alright then I see no reason to stop you from going back to your duties."

She needed no further encouragement, and without another word Nora Shepard departed from the ward with all the speed she could muster. _She had to find Garrus…_

However, Lieutenant Alenko caught her the moment she stepped into the main dining area on her way to the elevator.

"Do you mind if we talk?" he asked. The words were so familiar to her that she would have nearly laughed if she wasn't already panicked.

"Sure, what about?" Nora found herself surprised at the calm of her voice.

"Well, it's rather personal."

"Oh…well, I'm sure it can't be that bad." Nora forced a smile even though her heart had frozen with fear.

"I just noticed that whenever we end up fighting Thresher Maws on some uncharted planet you always seem to…"

"I hope I'm not interrupting Commander but I just received a message from the Council, would you like me to patch you through." Joker's voice echoed through on the com-link.

"Sure, I'll take it," the words were spoken guardedly, unwilling to portray the full extent of her relief.

"I'm sorry Kaiden…but could I?"

The older man just nodded in understanding, "Of course commander."

"I'll talk to you later ok?"

"I'd like that." Nora felt herself smile at him again, such a brilliant and confident smile; such a false and disgusting smile. The second she rounded the corner to climb the stairs she felt herself falter and, for the briefest of moments, her smile was a sob stifled only by her trembling hand.

Nora left the conference room leaning heavily against the wall; the meeting with the Council had left her feeling even more exhausted than before. A team of Salarians had been lost on Virmire, a planet she had never even heard of, and to make it worse the meeting reminded her that even more sacrifices may have to be made.

"Commander?" Joker's voice rang over the communication system.

"Yes Joker?" again her acting skill surprised her. Did she even recognize the confident woman who responded?

"We should be docking on Noveria in five hours; thought you should know."

"Yes, thank you Joker."

And once again Commander Shepard found herself walking across the bridge, down the stairs and into her room. Only to find it _completely_ clean, void of the mess she knew she had left. Looking around frantically, she found not a trace of her Medi-gel packs and nearly wept in frustration. And then frustration turned into anger as she realized who must have cleared the space.

_Garrus!!!_ Her mind roared in both anguish and panic, _he must have taken out everything…he must have…_

"You called for me Commander."

The familiar voice was startling enough, but the tall silhouette was enough to have her clutch the front of her shirt to reassure herself her heart hadn't suddenly jumped out in fright.

"Garrus?" The human woman tried to appear confident, but she honestly couldn't remember if she had called for the Turian. Still, it would have been unlike her to appear unknowing and so she tried to come up with a plausible excuse.

"Ah yes! I called you because I heard from Doctor Chakwas that you went into my quarters to retrieve the sleep log."

"Yes Commander that is correct."

"So about what you saw…"

Nora watched in surprise as the Turian suddenly looked uncomfortable. Feeling ashamed of herself she looked away, choosing to look at the floor than at the one member of her crew whose opinion mattered more than the rest.

"Garrus?" She was almost afraid to ask; couldn't bear the agony of having let him down.

"I understand that what I saw is not to be discussed with anyone Commander. But…" he suddenly seemed to remember, "Permission to speak freely ma'am?"

Shepard felt her mental self prepare for the disapproval she knew was coming.

"Permission Granted." The words left her lips as no more than a tortured whisper.

"Commander, I am…concerned about…" he seemed to hesitate and then change his mind, "...concerned with what I found."

His words were far softer than she had imagined, but the pain that she felt bloom in her chest made her want to press her hand to her chest more deeply.

"I-I understand that you are worried about my ability to lead a team if I am…_drugged_." The word sounded dirty to her ears, and nearly choked her into silence "But I assure you that I…"

Her focus on the floor suddenly lifted as she sensed him move away from the door frame, watched in breathless silence as he moved with predatory grace until he was standing not two feet from her own position.

"Nora."

All she could do was tilt her head to look up at him, and then with bated breath watch as one talon-like finger wiped the tear from her face.

"You never actually called for me," his eyes were calm as his blue met her own surprised ones, "I sensed that something was wrong, so I came up here on my own."

"Well…you always did seem to know me better than anyone else," Nora felt herself manage a weak smile, but it was a real one.

"I'm sorry that I had to trick you Commander. I meant no disrespect."

The woman just shrugged, still looking as tired as she had when he had walked in.

"Commander?"

"I'm just tired…" she said softly, taking the few steps to close the gap between them, "and I can't …_stop._ Not thinking, not worrying, not _pretending_." He watched impassively as she looked up at him suddenly hesitant.

"Is that why you took the…"

Garrus stopped mid sentence, stunned into silence.

_She was so soft…_

_He was so strong…_

Commander Nora Shepard closed her eyes as she tucked herself closer to the Turian, resting her head on his chest, one of her hands pressed to her racing heart.

"Commander?" Garrus wrapped one arm around her in worry.

"Please… just hold me."

He had told himself before that such action was inappropriate. But he could feel the quick beating of her heart, the peace of emotion he had not felt in her for several weeks. And as he looked down at the human woman who sought solace in his company he realized that nothing could make him refuse her.

"Of course."

And so they stood like that for what seemed both timeless and still too short. Interrupted suddenly when the door opened.

"Commander?!"


	3. Chapter 3: Past meet Present

AN: Just wanted to once again thank all of my Reviewers, Readers, and basically everyone who has taken the time to take a look at this fic. It really means a lot to me, and I appreciate all of your words of encouragement.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's a bit about Nora's past and what happened in the previous chapter :) Have fun!!!

* * *

"Commander are you alright?"

Shepard had just walked into the Medical Storage room of the Normandy, still gritty from the mission on Noveria.

Nora Shepard looked at the Asari doctor with a sad smile, "I was going to ask you that same question. How are you holding up?"

"You mean about Benezia's death?"

"Yes, I understand that it must have been difficult to be there when we," she corrected herself instantly, "I killed your mother, I'm sorry that…"

"It's alright Commander, she was strong enough to give me that final message. I think that was enough for her…and, I thank you for putting her out of her pain."

"It…" the human Commander found her voice suddenly stuck in her throat choking her as she tried to force it out, "I-it hurts whenever I have to take the life of somebody who is a parent, or when I know someone related to them."

"Because you have never known you parents?" Liara was gentle in her prodding and managed to her a small nod in return.

"It makes me sad whenever I think about it too much."

Liara sat in the following silence for a few moments before touching the woman on the shoulder.

She had said once that she had felt a connection to the other woman; that hadn't changed. But initially she had thought it had been a romantic one, it was only now, after he weeks passed by she had realized it was much more familial in flavor.

"How about we take our minds off this hmm?" The young Asari opened her palm and smiled patiently as a small ball of biotic power formed, "Here…try doing this." And with a small twitch of her other hand the ball reformed into a small bird Nora remembered seeing in the Prothean ruins

"…and I thought biotics were usefully only when in combat," Nora wondered out loud, "I'm not sure I have your level of control though…"

"Just try," Liara said, and then she watched in silence as the Commander opened her hand, slowly collected a small orb of biotic power and perfectly replicate the small bird that was now flying around the room.

"I am not sure if I am correct in my observation," she said, "But I find that you are unusually skilled in biotics for someone of your species."

The human woman smiled for only a brief moment before Liara could feel the sadness that welled inside the other with each passing moment.

"I sense that my comment has made you upset." She said softly, "I apologize, that was not my intention."

Shepard just shook her head, "It's ok, and I'm not. I was just remembering back on Earth when I was told something similar. Back then, Biotics were still pretty unknown and misunderstood, but, there was this man who…"

Flashback:

_"Quick, go to the safe house!" Nora could feel her throat burning from the exertion of running and screaming at the top of her lungs, her skin tingling from the use of what she called her 'curse.'_

_A wave of brilliant copper colored hair steaming out behind her, the speed at which she ran was far greater than her usual physical capabilities. And while her powers had made her parents abandon her she couldn't deny that her strange abilities did have their benefits. As her violet-blue eyes scanned the empty halls of their haven she silently wished that they would grant her one more and give her the ability to protect those that looked to her for leadership. _

_They had been found out. They, the children nobody wanted, the little rats that picked through the trash and walked alone in the middle of the city with no parent to go looking for them. The children who had strange powers that could bend the fabric of reality, whispered voices called them freaks; they called themselves cursed; the military called them biotics._

_Spotting a familiar figure standing on one of the rafters Nora skid to an abrupt halt, "Talon! Don't just stand there; help me get the younger kids into the house!"_

_Brilliant blue eyes flashed once in recognition before a tall boy with jumped down into the hall taking the small girl from her arms and moving towards the designated room._

_A scream echoed through the old iron-works warehouse before she could follow her companion. Feeling an icy cold run up her spine, she knew that voice well._

_"Nora?" Up ahead the boy was standing at the heavy iron doors of the elevator leading to the safe room._

_"I'm going back," her voice was steady despite her rising panic, "I think they might have Pixie. I'll going to get her back and bring her with me when I come down ok?"_

_Pixie had been the first child she had taken in when she realized how many homeless children had her same 'condition'. Lacking the control of her abilities that Nora had, the first time Pixie had tried to run away from her had nearly resulted in the destruction of half the warehouse. Still, as the years had gone on the two of them had grown closer; Nora the big sister and Pixie the devoted sibling, always by her side, helping her bear the burden. And when the warehouse had suddenly come under attack Pixie had run down to the lower level to give time to the other children so that they could run away._

_She could see him hesitate before giving her a nod, "Just take care of yourself ok? It's bad enough that we lost Dancer and Troy to them last time. We can't afford to lose you. So even if you have to leave her behind, promise me that you will be back."_

_Nora opened her mouth to protest but the sharp look in her companions eyes made her shut it instead. _

_"Alright, I promise."_

_And then she was gone, tearing down the hallway and jumping to the floor below with a noiselessness borne from using her power to cushion her fall._

_"Pixie?" Her voice was soft, but echoed through the open space, "Pixie where are you."_

_Behind her something set off another alarm, the crashing of glass bottles on hard concrete floor making the Nora whirl around._

_"Who's there? Pixie is that you?" Nora's hand curled into a fist instinctually, it couldn't have been Pixie because she would never have set off the alarm no matter what situation._

_"Little girl, I think you're smart enough to know that I'm not 'Pixie.'"_

_Nora frowned slightly as the tall man appeared before her, moving from behind a stack of old containers._

_"Captain Shepard, I thought I told you to leave my family alone." Her voice was razor sharp and her wide eyes had narrowed the moment he had stepped out of his hiding place. But the gaze was not directed at him; instead her eyes scanned the room looking for anyone else. _

_"Now now," his tone was conversational if not a bit arrogant, Nora felt her anger spike._

_"I am not a child, so don't you dare talk to me like that." She interrupted him, "Just tell me how Troy, Dancer and the others are doing and then give Pixie back. She's needed here so you're not taking anyone with you this time, the others are too young."_

_"If you insist," he replied accommodatingly, "The two I took last time are doing well. They've joined the others at my home and have done well in assimilating back into society. Also, the biotic control training the military started for them is going well."_

_"That's good then," her entire attitude suddenly changed, turned appreciative, "Thank you again for doing this for us."_

_"It's not a problem, the military is looking to observe those with Biotics so making them comfortable is just a way to pay them back for participating."_

_He paused for a moment, "which makes me wonder. Why is it that you never come with us? You're the oldest, it's true, but there are others who can look after them before the military can begin helping them. Besides, I've seen you in action; you're unusually good at using your powers. You could be really useful to the Alliance."_

_"I told you I would only join the military if you could guarantee the safety of all these children the moment I leave for the military academy."_

_"Well, we'll see what I can do then…"_

_"Good, now show me where you're keeping Pixie."_

End Flashback:

"I ended up doing to the military academy six months later." Nora finished, snapping her fingers and making the small bird change into a rabbit.

"So then Shepard isn't your real name but the name of the Captain who had been helping you?" Liara looked fascinated at the idea.

"Yeah, I couldn't very well join the military being called Private No-name, so I took his, because he had helped my adopted family back on Earth."

The door of the Medical Storage suddenly slid open with a soft hiss making both women (well, I'll just call Liara a woman despite her non-gender) jump.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!"

Nora felt her cheeks suddenly flush, _Of all the people who she did not want to see it was him._

"Lieutenant Alenko! What brings you to the Medical Storage?" Liara asked with a smile.

"Biotic powers; I could sense them being used here so I thought I'd check it out." The man returned the gesture before turning to Nora.

"Did the techs end up fixing your door quickly?"

The commander just laughed nervously, "Yeah, apparently it was just a small electrical glitch. They said it was a common problem, especially with an engine as big as the Normandy's. They fixed it in five minutes"

_There's no reason for you to know what actually happened…_

Flashback:

_Nora sighed contentedly as Garrus placed a protective arm around her and held her closer. They might never express their feelings verbally, but she knew that she cared about the Turian. Suddenly she felt a warm talon on her cheek, hesitant but unwilling to leave entirely. Eyes snapping open, she looked up at him and felt the air leave her lungs as his eyes met her own. Holding the hand on her cheek with one of hers she smiled silently at him before…_

_"Commander?!"_

_Garrus reacted faster than she realized he could. One moment she's standing in front of him, and the next she's sitting on her bed while Garrus, used his Omni-tool to bypass Normandy controls to forcibly shut the doors to her quarters. _

_"Commander?!" _

_Nora could recognize the voice now that she was expecting it. The voice belonged to Kaiden._

_"Kaiden is that you?" She asked even though she knew, "I think that the door just malfunctioned, I can't seem to get it open even with the emergency open code. Could you get the tech staff to open the door please?" _

_Garrus was silently surprised at how well his commander was at acting. But then realized that he shouldn't be; those weeks of pretending to be ok despite her exhaustion a testament to how well she could play the perceptions of others. Only he had noticed. The thought humbled him. _

_"He's gone," Nora spoke softly, touching the Turians arm, this time bolder in approaching him, "Thank you, for protecting me."_

_"Of course," his voice was equally soft as he touched her cheek again, savoring the contact. _Anything for you…_ the comment went unsaid._

_"I better go before Lieutenant Alenko arrives," he said releasing the door from the technique he had put on it, "I'll lock you back in after I leave ok?"_

_"Alright," she smiled at him and Garrus felt his heart sputter a little. Knowing that she cared for him, at least a little made every gesture so much more rewarding._

_"I'll see you later Commander," he took a step back as the door beeped at its reactivation and then noticed an almost imperceptible feeling of disappointment flow through the woman's emotional persona._

_"Goodbye Garrus," she said quietly watching him leave as feeling an unexplainable hurt rose in her chest._

_And then he had disappeared through the opening, doors sliding closed easily, only to open suddenly as he appeared once more._

_"Garrus?" she hesitated before running up to him, "What…"_

_"I didn't say goodbye properly." He said softly._

_"What do you mean?" She said confused, though her heart beat loudly in her chest as if it knew._

_He bent down to press his forehead to her own, eyes capturing hers with the same effortless grace that they had before._

_"I'll see you later, Nora."_

_And then the door closed, and the woman smiled as she touched the spot over her heart. He really did know her better than anyone else, even herself._

End Flashback:

"So Commander, shall we teach Lieutenant Alenko how to make these little things?" Liara said with a smile.

Nora smiled, "Sure."

It was a special sort of connection the three of them had in that room; teaching each other new tricks, improving on old ones until they were nearly unrecognizable. And inside that Medical Storage rooms, creatures of the sparkling blue biotic power swam, flew, and ran through the air while the three biotic watched in appreciative silence. But of course time passes by regardless of how much fun one is having.

"Commander." Joker's voice echoed in the small room, "We're getting a message from the Alliance, so I think you should come to the bridge."

Nora looked up from the small parade of animals walking along the ground, "Sure thing, I'm on my way."

With a nod she left the Asari doctor and the Lieutenant to continue their biotic 'practice', waved a small greeting to the Doctor Chakwas and arrived on the bridge in less than a minute.

"Alright, patch me through Joker," she said letting her hands rest gently on the support rail.

"Yes ma'am." He said, a moment later the voice of Admiral Hackett came through the speakers.

"I've received some information that I thought you'd want to see, Commander."

Nora had done several UNC missions before, so this was not entirely unheard of, but the tone of the Admiral made her feel slightly suspicious.

"Someone is killing former Akuze scientists; there have been four deaths in the past month."

_Akuze…_Nora's spine stiffened but she refused to acknowledge it. Maybe it was all just a coincidence. After all, Akuze had been home to several science projects even before that…_massacre._

"Former scientists?" Nora was pleased to find her voice sounded unaffected, "Sounds like someone has something they'd like to keep secret."

"Yes well, we found a connection between the scientists…and you. They all worked on a classified project several years ago. On Akuze."

Nora felt her skin begin to crawl.

_Oh please no…don't make me remember what happened…_

_"_I lost my whole unit there. You're saying that our scientists were involved?"

I can't get any information on what they were working on. The project records are sealed."

The Admiral's response did little to reassure, her rather it only made her more uncomfortable.

"Commander…Shepard. What you do with this is up to you. I just thought you'd want to know. There was one other scientist on the project. Dr. Wayne. I'm transmitting his last known coordinates."

Good Luck. Fifth fleet out."

Nora stood staring blankly at the galaxy map for several long moments, torn between ignoring the message or going to investigate.

"Joker, where are we right now?"

"We're approaching the Newton System in the Kepler Verge Cluster."

"And compared to the coordinates we just received, how far away is Dr. Wayne's location?"

_Please let it be on the other side of the galaxy…_

"It's actually really close by, on a planet called Ontarom, Commander."

She sighed a little, "Alright Joker set a course for Ontarom."

"Yes Ma'am; Estimated time of arrival, in 0600 hours."

And with no further instruction for the very talented pilot of the Normandy Nora walked back to her quarters. It was only when she finally allowed herself to lie on her bed that the feeling of numbness disappeared and the terror began to steadily eat her alive and chase her in her dreams.

Elsewhere, Garrus shifted uncomfortably as he felt her emotional state deteriorate with frightening speed. All day she had been in good spirits, but now…something was wrong. Fist clenching in frustration, Garrus sat down next to the Mako and did his best to think about everything but the voice in his head telling him to protect the woman he knew was sleeping upstairs. It would be too obvious, and the last thing he wanted was to stress her out even more.

_He wanted to protect her…but he couldn't…_

_She was vulnerable…and he there was nothing he could do…_


	4. Chapter 4: Not Strong Enough

AN: Hello everyone, sorry for not updating last week, I was feeling a little uninspired last weekend so I appologize for taking so long with updating. I just wanted to thank all the people reading, reviewing or just checking this fic out. It makes me happy to know my writing is at least worth of at least a passing glance.

As for this chapter, well, I deviated a little from the actual path my character took in the game (I was entirely paragon and had a high 'charm' skill) so this portion is based off a vid I watched with this scenerio - I felt this worked more with the idea of the story. Hope you all enjoy - and as always comments and suggestions are always welcome!!!

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_So hot…_

Nora pushed her sticky hair out of her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day and concentrated on properly decrypting the seal on the 'anomaly' the Mako's radar had detected the moment they had landed on Ontarom.

Lights flashed before her eyes in quick succession, blue, yellow, red, yellow. Nora kept pace despite her inability to work well with tech-abilities.

Blue, yellow, red, yellow, green.

Nora caught herself a second before she pressed a button incorrectly, held her breath as the small automated compartment suddenly grew silent.

_Had she messed up?_

Looking checking her suit she found only a handful of Omni-gel packs, not nearly enough to override a corrupt door program. If the gels could be used after all, Nora had found that older technology had the annoying habit of being entirely unchanged by the tech-material, no matter how much she used.

A soft hiss from the box jolted Nora back to reality, her hand falling readily onto the weapon that rested comfortably on her lower back. Another hiss and the lid of the box slowly opened, releasing the age old air it had trapped inside.

Bending over in an attempt to overcome a fit of coughing, Nora smothered her wheezing long enough to look into the darkened compartment and see a small metallic emblem glint back at her through the shade.

Reaching in with a gloved hand, she extracted it utmost care and turned to show her two companions.

"Almost done, now let's check out that science facility before the heat does me in." And without another word she led both Tali and Ashley back into the Mako.

On the Normandy

Garrus sat quietly on the ground of the Normandy's underbelly, the dim lighting glinting of the metallic of his rifle and the many upgrades he hand strewn around; scopes, stabilizers, rounds of various types and caliber.

Claws snapped the pieces together with ferocity, building and taking apart with a speed he knew would have made the Gunnery Chief all the more uneasy. All Turians were capable of such fast movement, but had adopted a slower pace around all the other civilizations so as to reduce the amount of uneasiness; just as the Asari had limited their use of biotic skills in everyday life, so too had his people made a minor sacrifice in the interest of intergalactic relations.

But right now none of that mattered…

_She had left him back at the Normandy…_

His bitterness at the thought had surprised him the first time but now that he had said it enough to himself there was just an ache of pain.

It wasn't that he thought their closer relationship had meant she would play favorites, but she had _always_ taken him on ground missions no matter the situation, no matter who would be best suited. And he had gotten used to it, taken it for granted, that she would always choose him.

_Until now…_

Another split second later the gun was stripped and rebuilt once again, the only sound in the large hall the clicking of pieces as they snapped back into place.

"You are really starting to annoy me." Across the dark room Wrex's bulky form shifted, his bright eyes reflecting the meager lighting.

It was enough to make Garrus pause for a moment before he looked back down at his work and continuing anew.

_Snap…_

_Snap.Snap.Snap._

Hands flying faster now that he had turned his attention to his work, the gun evolved more times than even he could count.

_I told you I would protect you…but how can I when you do this?_

The sound of a gun cocking was his only indication of the other standing behind him.

"If you don't stop that now, I swear I'll kill you here, no matter what Shepard says."

_Snap._

_Snap…Snap…Sna-_

On Ontarom

"Get down!" Shepard pushed Ashley down on the ground and leveled her shotgun at the geth trooper and pumped two large shells into his chest.

They had begun attacking the Mako the moment they had crested the ridge and hadn't stopped since. The three women were currently holed up behind a large metal silo used for some sort of chemical mixing and processing.

Seeing the Gunnery chief get up from her crouch Nora jerked around in response, using her biotics to push the woman behind a large metal container before leveling her shotgun and taking down a second geth with little more than twitch of her finger.

"Williams, when I said get down I meant until I told you otherwise!!!" Nora turned around, furious at her officer the present firefight forgotten for a moment.

"When I tell you to get down you do it – and…" Nora trailed off, quieting as she heard the anger in her voice, troubling her as much as it surprised. She had always tried to play it cool, but it appeared that this situation brought out the worst in her.

"Commander watch out!"

Whirling around, Shepard ducked down just in time for Ashley's sniper rifle to fire the single shot it took to kill the last geth surrounding the compound but not fast enough to entirely miss the shot that scrapped her cheek, a jagged line quickly turning bloody.

Across the grounds Shepard could see Tali making a dash for the door, Omni-tool out as she began to decrypt the security codes on the doors.

Ten seconds, that all it took for the young Quarian to hack past what was probably top secret military coding and security to finally unlock the door. Nora took only a moment to appreciate the task before signally both women to follow her as she entered the building, her wound still bloody.

On the Normandy

"So tell me again, what happened?" Dr. Chakwas looked up from her desk, taking off her reading glasses as she did so.

"There was a…scuffle…of sorts downstairs," the Asari doctor sighed softly as leaned against the wall, "And while I tried to be gentle in breaking it up I fear I was a little overzealous."

The silver haired woman chuckled a little; it was hard to image the blue-toned woman being overzealous over anything but her research. Still, it said a lot about how much interacting with human beings was affecting her.

The human doctor looked up Liara for a moment, her eyes assessing the other woman before she smiled in understanding, "Alright, I'll be down there in a moment, meet me down there, I'll grab my equipment."

Liara nodded once before striding out of the room and taking the elevator down into the cool lower-decks that she only rarely traveled. It was never as comforting as the tranquil solitude of the med-bay and despite the fact that a large number of the crew was located here she couldn't bring herself to move from the place she called 'her room.'

"Dr. Tsoni?" The voice that called to her was calm, carefully controlled to hide any sign of pain or distress.

"Garrus? How are you holding up?" she went to check the Turian who was still having trouble sitting up properly after her biotic intersession into their argument.

"I'm sure he's fine." Across the room, Wrex's gruff voice sounded with equal display of control, "but I wanted to ask you a question."

Liara looked up but made no effort to leave her current patient, "Hmmm?"

"Are you sure you never trained to be a commando?"

On Ontarom

The metallic door slip open without a sound, a stark contrast to the gunfire that had painted the air not seconds before. Behind her Nora could hear Ashley and Tali double check the bodies of the mercenaries that had attacked them.

Looking down at her data pad Nora noted that whatever was waiting for her was just behind one more set of doors, down dimly lit stairway she had stepped into.

Swallowing softly, Nora turned around to watch the two crew members she had chosen for the mission and had to smile a little. She had only rarely taken the two of them on ground missions, but each time they had always proven themselves. Tali with her uncanny ability to understand technology, a skill Nora knew she had no way of achieving even with years of hard work, and Gunnery Chief Williams, a woman who seemed so at home wielding the weapons many officers found too difficult to master. Both were strong in their own respect, and Nora felt admiration bubble up inside her, it made her feel glad they felt she was a capable leader. Now all she had to do was keep proving them right.

"You ok there Skipper?" Ashley jogged up to her slowly, assault rifle resting easily on her shoulder her dark eyes probing the older woman gently before focusing on the cut that ran on the side of Shepard's cheek, "Is that giving you trouble?"

Nora just shook her head in the negative and thanked her for asking, saying that she would have the doctor check it when she got back on the Normandy.

But _Garrus would be furious…_

Remembering the flash of anger in his brilliant blue eyes when she had asked him to stay behind, Nora shivered a little as she relived the intensity of his gaze. She refused to feel bad about choosing who she had, after all Garrus had been left onboard because she couldn't stand the idea of him knowing about…this. He had proven time and time again that he would protect her from everything, sometimes at a cost to himself, and this was one time when she _knew_ that she had to deal with this alone.

"Are we ready to go yet?" Tali's easy-going voice made her otherwise serious commander smile.

"Sure," and with that Nora turned around and walked down the hallway, pausing for the brief moment it took Tali to decrypt the locking mechanism on the door.

But as the door slip open and Nora took in the scene she found her eyes locked to the man holding the scientist at gunpoint.

"Stay back! I've got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!"

A flash of recognition jolted through her with gut wrenching surprise and anxiety.

_She had seen him before…_

"Please!" The scientist tried to turn towards her but stopped short, the gun at his jaw, "He's a madman!"

_Where had she seen him?_

"Mr. Toombs, you're insane! You need help!"

The comment seemed to make the other man grow more upset, "Shut up! You don't get to lie! You don't…" The mercenary's eyes caught her own and widened.

"Shepard? My god, Shepard is that you?"

_Toombs…_

"Toombs?" Nora voice shook, it was as if she was staring at a dead man, "But you were on Akuze, I saw the Thresher Maw pull you under!"

The attention that had been placed on her suddenly sharpened again on the man trembling at gun point, "They took me, Shepard. The scientists."

"You can't prove any of this. This man is delusional." But even though the scientist spoke the words Nora found herself refusing to listen.

"See. They were running tests on the Thresher Maws. They let those things attack us just to watch and study."

Toombs words made her sick.

_All those men and women, dead…and why?_

Because these scientists had wanted someone to play guinea pig.

"I woke up in a holding cell. The scientists were delighted that I'd survived. Now they had someone to run tests on." Nora heard the words and felt herself grow increasingly ill.

_Toombs…her men…herself…all test subjects…_

"What did they do to you Toombs?" The words were spoken in tortured whisper, inquiring with sickened curiosity.

"You can't believe Toombs! He doesn't have any proof! I demand a fair trial!"

_Did you give any of my men a fair trial…_Nora's conscious whispered with vicious anger, _did you show them any mercy?_

"Commander Shepard was there!" Ashley's voice behind her jolted her for but a moment, "She knows the truth!"

"This man deserves to die, Shepard." Toombs comment soothed her inner rage, made her blood sing in sweet revenge, "For you, for me, for everyone else in the unit. Are you with me?"

_I want to let you do it…but…what will happen to you if I do…what if they imprison you?_

Nora knew she would do anything to keep her friend from suffering anymore, but she couldn't let him kill the scientist, no matter how much she so desired it.

"I can arrest him. He'll answer for his crimes in court."

The moment Toombs looked at her, she saw a face drawn in betrayal, "This is the only way! Are you helping me or are you killing me?"

"Toombs, please, it doesn't have to be like this. This isn't the only way!" Nora could feel herself losing ground, losing him.

A moment passed between them, tense, strained, before he responded softly, "It is for me."

A single shot was all it took to send the scientist to the floor, dead.

"I avenged them Shepard. Our unit can finally rest in peace. I can finally let go." Despite his violent action the moment before he turned to her, a gentle smile on his lips.

_Toombs?_

"The vids say that you were the sole survivor of what happened at Akuze…"

Shepard took a step forward suddenly, spurred on by a sudden feeling of unease.

S_omething was wrong…_

Toombs eyes focused once more on her own, a shrug accompanying his final words,

"…who am I to argue?"

And before she could finish taking her second step the Corporal placed the gun to his temple and fired once, killing himself instantly.

_Oh gods…please no…_

Nora's could hear the blood pound in her ears as she approached the body of a man who had once been her friend, could hear her breath hitch as she looked into his face and see the peaceful expression that eased the lines of pain etched by those who had used him. And on the edge of her consciousness she could even hear the soft sobs of anguish, regret and denial as they slowly grew louder and louder in the still room.

It wasn't until the tear fell from her eye that she realized that she was the one crying.

_Forgive me…I am not strong enough…_


	5. Chapter 5: Presence

Once again I would like to thank ALL my supportes, reviewers and those that just read this fic casually. Your comments and favorites make this a really great experience and makes me want to do even better for all of you. So **thank you** for being so great! And I hope that you enjoy!

* * *

Nora flinched as the tense muscles in her back relaxed and glanced at the needle they had inserted into her arm. The drug was quick, she'd give it that, but it made her feel like she had the reflexes of an old woman and feeling so helpless once more made her upset. She hated being treated like a patient of the mental wards, constantly on meds to keep her sedated.

It made her unusually bad tempered, and snappish.

She was lying down on a standard issue Citadel medical bed, but for all that she was feeling they might as well have locked her in the smallest, most miserable prison cell the place had to offer. Two days of miserable existence in the confines of this bed, two days without moving, without doing the things she had wanted to do.

And there was a lot of it that had to get done. Nora sighed unhappily as she let herself sink down into the thick pillows and blankets of the bed. She still had to go to the Council to get the last bits of information on the situation on Virmire, had to go clean the small apartment she had rented out the last time they had landed here, and then she wanted to go get a drink; a _strong_ one.

Nora was certain that the drink was just what she needed. Talking about what had happened on Ontarom would just make her weepy again and she didn't think she had any tears left to cry; for anyone.

_Though, Garrus would say that say that her Presence would be better off because if she did cry, lessen the pain she bottled up inside. _

'Presence' was the word he had used to describe his attunement to her emotional state, it was special to his people, and Nora had often thought that if human men had such capabilities there would be far less tension between the genders.

Still, it was nice to know that he was looking out for her, it made her feel special.

Flashback:

_"Commander?" _

_Eyes that had long since glazed over blinked for a moment and the woman lying prostrate on the bed sat up slowly as she came back to reality._

Garrus?

_The thought made her smile despite the tracks of ears that still shone wet in the dim light of her room._

_Walking slowly to the door Nora punched in the code to release the door from its lock and took a step back, watching silently as the large form of the Turian appeared in her quarters; light dancing off the metallic of his skin._

_"Yes Garrus?" _

_Garrus looked down at the human woman who seemed so small to him and felt his heart squeeze in his chest. _

_Military short-hair was mused, wisps of silk falling around her face, into her eyes. And those eyes, pale purple-blue dulled in exhaustion and pain. _

_He had been right in coming to her; the emotion in her voice telling him the little else her physical appearance could not. _

_"You were crying." It was statement, he knew she understood that._

_"Just a little…" she admitted a gentle smile on her lips for only a second before the image faltered and her lips trembled, "but you knew that."_

End Flashback:

Once this 'check-up' was complete she could get back to doing her job, back to being able to see _him_. They had refused to let anyone visit and she felt his loss acutely, missing his strength now more than ever. The alliance had made it perfectly clear that they thought she was losing her edge, and now…

_Arrogant jerks_…she thought bitterly, remembering the scene that had unfolded the moment they had docked, _I'm not a liability so don't you dare try and take me out now!_

Flashback:

_The Normandy had just docked with the Citadel but she had yet to come out of her room._

_Garrus' presence that morning had made it more bearable, but there was still the ache in her heart that would take several days, if not weeks before it could finally heal. _

_Still, she had been not expecting the sort of reception she received when she finally walked out of her room to prepare for her trip into the Citadel._

_Four men stood before her a wheelchair between them, fellow Alliance officers before she had been a Spectre._

_No…she still was part of the Alliance, so why was it that for her to deny the stony faced men was so easy?_

_"Commander Shepard?"_

_Behind the four she could see her second in command slowly make his way to stand before her._

_"Yes Pressly?" Nora could feel herself becoming suspicious of the other man, "What's going on?"_

_"Well…you see commander, these past few days must have been a very trying time for you. I thought that if you had some rest here on the Citadel it would do you some good."_

_"I am not in the mood for this Pressly," she said trying in earnest to keep her temper in check, "I may be tired, but I have a job to do. The fate of the entire galaxy is on my shoulders and I don't have time to take unnecessary naps whenever we dock here."_

_"I understand Commander and…"_

_"I'm leaving now Pressly." Her voice was firm but not unkind, "I have to go speak to the council and then we will be heading out once again. _

_She turned to walk around the men when they shifted and closed in around her._

_"What are you doing?!" the anger she had been holding in exploded, "Let me go! LET ME GO!!! As you superior officer I demand that you unhand me now!"_

_Across the room Kaiden walked out of the Medical Ward and, seeing her distress made his way over to her._

_"Hey wait a minute Pressly, what's going on here?" The biotic approached the scene but stopped short when the Executive Officer fixed him with a frown._

_"The Commander is a very tired woman Lieutenant; surely you want her to get better."_

_"Well yes but…"_

_"And you would never go against your commanding officer would you?"_

_"Well…" Nora watched as the internal conflict brought the man to silence._

_"I am you superior officer Pressly. Now leave me the hell alone, or I will have to contact Captain Anderson along with the military brass." Her words were as cold as her anger was hot._

_She had once been like this many years ago as a child surviving on Earth, but the years had made her calmer, more at peace._

_Yet it would seem that she had not lost her particularly nasty personality despite the time._

_"I have gotten the go ahead from military brass already, and I spoke to Captain Anderson, I have his support too! Now Commander I ask that you sit in the wheelchair that way you can be taken care of. Please, I am doing this in your best interest; do not make this any harder than it must be."_

_Nora could feel her anger melt away into pain, hurt, and frustration at the sheer futility of the situation. And so, without any other option she walked quietly to the awaiting chair and sat down, eyes down cast and glassy but refusing to let any tears fall._

_"Nora?" _

_In the midst of the cacophony going around her seated form Nora looked up and found her eyes locked to a familiar pair of brilliant azure._

Garrus?

Are you ok?

_Her eyes dropped to the floor for a moment before looking up again._

…yes, I'm fine

Then I will visit you once you're better alright?

_Nora smiled; even when they weren't talking to one another she could sense his worry._

Ok .I'll see you later.

_And with the smallest nod of his head he turned and left, but not before sending her one last look over his shoulder._

_She felt the injection in her shoulder, felt the sudden drowsiness that swept over her and tried to bury her in the warmth of the sleep. But before her last moments of consciousness completely faded away Nora struggled to stay awake for a moment longer, if only to recalled the soft look in the Turians' eyes and smile at the memory. Without another thought she drifted to sleep._

End Flashback:

However, it would seem that today, despite her best wishes and sweetest daydreams, her thoughts managed only to call the people she was most upset in.

As if simply thinking of them summoned them to her side, the door of the medical ward slid open revealing Captain Anderson, Executive Officer Pressly and Ambassador Udina.

Under any other circumstance Nora was certain that she would have been happy to see at least two of the men, both had earned her respect and loyalty. The third one, Nora's pale blue-purple eyes flickered to the Ambassador and darkened in anger, could have died without Nora shedding one tear. Unfortunately for the three men who had just entered she was in a less than amiable disposition.

"Captain Anderson." Her voice was polite but cold, knowing what she did about the part he had in her being in the Medical Ward made her less inclined to notice either of them, but she tried to be polite.

"Shepard," Captain Anderson, for she could never see him as anything less, seemed to sense her bad mood immediately and wisely decided to keep the meeting short.

It was just as well, for her temper could only stand do much.

"I apologize for this situation and -" he began but she cut him off before he could get much further.

"It's alright; it's not entirely your fault anyway." Next to him Pressly shivered as the woman's eyes turned for a moment to burn angrily as she focused on the ex-navigator.

"I'm sure you meant well," she continued focus still on her second in command, "But we all know how these sorts of things go."

A smile quirked on her lips and turned malicious, "Don't we Pressly?"

The look was enough to freeze both men, and Captain Anderson wondered if this face was the one that she had acquired surviving on Earth.

_Such a cynical look_, it was in complete odds with the woman he had known over the years.

Behind the two decorate military officers the aging Udina coughed so as to get the attention he felt he deserved.

"Yes Ambassador?" Shepard's voice rang of cold mockery, "What is it?"

"T-the Alliance has told me that if you are no longer suffering from your e-emotions then you are free to continue your work for the Citadel."

_Sniveling idiot, I wasn't suffering from anything! _

The thought almost drew a real smile from the woman, "Well thank you Ambassador Udina, I'll be sure to get to work right away."

The command had been silent but all three men knew a dismissal whether or not it had been spoken. Years of surviving in the military had forced them to. And so, after another brief and tense moment in which salutes were exchanged, the three men left with all haste.

Nora smiled a little to herself once the door slid closed behind them, luxuriating in the pleasure of seeing the terror on Pressly's face. It had been so very long since she had gotten upset at someone, ages since she had had to rely on the nasty temperament that slumbered so peacefully beneath her calm exterior. And it hid her exhaustion perfectly, just like always.

But now it was time to get out of this place.

Pulling the blankets of her bed down to her knees, she uncovered the Medipack she had saved from her previous treatment that day; perfect.

It took her less than five minutes to strip the pack down to the components she needed and even less time to assemble them in the stimulant.

It had been a while since she had last used one, weeks even. But their usefulness never truly went away.

She wondered if she would ever be able to tell Garrus that she used these stimulants more than he knew. That the one time he had found so many of them had been only one of many times.

_It would hurt him…_

The thought was all that she needed to convince her to keep it silent. If there was one thing she refused to do it was to hurt him, no matter what she had to do, or keep quiet.

But that wouldn't keep her from using the stimulant now, or any time in the future. She _needed _them to keep her alert, keep her awake to protect all the people who looked up to her.

And so she injected the liquid into her arm and reveled in the strength that slowly overcame the other drugs in her system.

_It was time to get back to work._

Elsewhere on the Citadel

Garrus walked out of the C-Sec base feeling freer than he ever had. He had finally done it, requested that once this mission was complete he would be removed from C-Sec to pursue being a Spectre.

The ensuing conversation had made him surprised. His commanding officer, for all that they had never seen eye-to-eye, was encouraging if not equally hesitant. It reminded him a bit of his father; the older Turian never could readily accept anything or anyone who existed outside the dictated laws.

Still, he had been given permission and that was all that his mind could focus on. Well, almost all his mind could focus on. There was always that small part tied directly to his heart that thought of his commander, his love.

Flashback:

_What I wouldn't give to protect you, to keep you from crying._

The affectionate words between them went unsaid as they always did.

"I felt your Presence grow bleak." Garrus said after a few moments, "You haven't been well since you came back from Ontarom."

"What do you mean 'Presence'?" Nora ignored the last part of the question, still feeling too sensitive over the subject to fully discuss it.

And so he leaned against the wall of her small room and began to explain how Presence was the emotional state of a person.

"Can every Turian feel every emotion of every other being?" the curious woman asked, now seated on her bed, propped up on her elbows.

"No," the turian agent shook his head, "imagine what would happen if we did, the sheer amount of it all would be enough to drive any being mad."

"So then…" Nora looked at him in confusion, "How is it that you can read mine?"

The moment the comment escaped her mouth Nora found herself watching in surprise and amusement as the Turian suddenly turned hesitant, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Do you remember when I first met you at the Citadel Tower?" His voice was a whisper, and we locked eyes for that brief moment."

"…yes…" her voice had dropped to a whisper as well,

"Well, I tried to touch your emotions back then," he shifted his weight in silent anxiousness, "I was…intrigued, and well, when I-I wanted to try, to see if I could."

"You mean it's not guaranteed that you can feel the Presence of someone even if you try?" Nora tilted her head a little, "Then…in what circumstance would such 'touching' of Presence be always possible?"

Garrus froze as his eyes suddenly the floor of her room to be of the most riveting character.

He was avoiding her question; Nora used one hand to smother a small laugh that escaped her mouth, sometimes he was just so cute.

"Commander?" He sounded hurt, "Why are you laughing?"

"Hmm?" Looking up at his illuminated face Nora could see the subtle changes in her Turian that told her she had hurt him, "Garrus what's wrong?"

"You're laughing…" the words were only the barest of sounds, yet they spoke volumes of how he was feeling.

"O-oh it was nothing like…" Nora got off her bed and stepped close enough so that she could hold one of his large hands in her two, "I-I just thought that you looked really cute..."

"Cute?"

She smiled as she looked up at him, "yeah, really cute."

End Flashback:

_His_ Shepard.

The possessive irony of the title made him smile. He had heard that humans called Shepherd guided and protected their flock of animals, much the same way that _Shepard_ looked out and protected those under her command.

Not that he considered himself in the same class as those funny white animals, _what were they called again? Sheep was it? _He snorted a little; he was most definitely not a sheep. Still, that wasn't going to stop him from going to visit her, they had told him that she would be allowed guests today.

Turning towards the Medical Ward Garrus allowed himself to seek out her _Presence_, her and frowned a little when he found it lingering just outside Citadel Tower.

_What was she doing there?_

Flashback:

He didn't know what time it was, didn't really care. All he cared about was tucked safe in his arms, their forms pressed together in the dim light of her room.

It was another secret meeting, another silent moment that was both fulfilling and yet still not enough. Strands of delicate silk ran between his fingers as he combed through her hair with his hand and bright eyes stared up at him with the subtlest affection.

_I love you…_

Words always seemed to get in the way for the two of them.

Gently grasping the hand that was carding through her hair Nora placed it against her cheek, closing her eyes as she savored the contact.

"Garrus,"

The sound of his name on her lips made his heart thud loudly in his chest

"You never did tell me what sort of relationship it takes for Turians to establish Presence with another person."

"It's…hard to explain…" he said softly as he continued to caress her cheek.

_I'm afraid to tell you…_

"Please…" she could have ordered him to tell her, used her rank to force him to. But he knew she would never do such a thing.

Instead she just snuggled closer against him with a soft sigh.

Whenever she was with him she found she was no longer the woman everyone called 'Commander.' Titles melted away into nothing as she simply became Nora, the human woman who had found her affection captured so entirely by the turian standing before her.

_Let me stay like this forever._

"This link is one of the most special." Garrus began, his voice rumbling softly in her ear as his explanation began, "A turian can only every form this bond once."

Nora's face turned to look up at his own, "You can only do this once?" he nodded slightly, "Then, why?"

"Because I knew," he said softly, touching his forehead to hers, "I knew you were the one."

_That special being that resonates with my own emotions…_

_The one I am meant to protect…_

_The one who I love forever…_

End Flashback:

Turning towards the Tower Garrus walked briskly in the direction he had felt her go.

She never had responded to him after he had told her that the bond they shared was one between lovers. And yet, when she finally stood on her tiptoes to gently press her lips to his cheek he knew that she understood, and felt the same.

_I love you…_

_

* * *

__AN: Thanks again for reading - Please review if you so wish!!!_


	6. Side Story: Calm Before the Storm

Hello everyone! I'm sorry that I took so long on this one. I've started working on a rather extensive writing project other than this one so it kind of got the short end of the stick these past couple of weeks - sorry!!!

Anyway, I plan to update this one by the end of the month with one more chapter so don't worry this fiction is still very much active!!!

As for this particular chapter - this does **not** follow the game story line at all so I just wanted to give you a heads up. The chapter I will be writing next will continue the story of the previous work, but this is nothing more than a hypothetical situation on the Citadel.

I hope this does not discourage too many readers - and I'll be back at the end of the month with the next chapter in the actual series of events. In the mean time, please Enjoy and review if you feel so inclined!!!

Thanks again for reading, and to all my reviewers/watchers/readers you have my deepest gratitude.

* * *

_"Do you need a place to stay?" _

Such an innocent little comment, Nora couldn't remember how it had led to everything that followed. Of course, she had known that inviting her crewmate and love interest to share her flat on the Citadel might draw a few looks, if her quiet invitation was ever discovered, but she had thought that the two of them had been secretive enough to avoid any rumors, valid or not.

And she had been right, for the most part. People took little notice of the two of them, just one of now a handful of mixed-specie couples living in the citadel. It was a freedom neither of them had realized they could find, and the following days had been punctuated with quiet joy and subtle, but openly expressed, affection.

Still, even the Citadel was home who were not entirely keen on the idea of a human and turian in a relationship. Nora had already heard more than one cruel sarcastic comment on their behalf, and it would seem that today she would be subject to even more.

_Do you see that woman over there? Well I heard that…_

_Who does she think she is? In a relationship with a Turian…ha! That's disgusting…_

_It's probably because no other man will have her…_

Nora looked up from the com-pad the Council had given her and focused her attention to the two women gossiping loudly at the table in front of her. The two of them had been whispering about her for over an hour already and it was starting to give her a headache.

"Excuse me," Her voice was polite but commanding in tone, "Could you keep it down please? Some of us are actually trying to…"

_Do_ _something worthwhile with our time, _Nora had to bite her tongue against the comment. It would do her little good to make a scene here.

"Some of us are trying to do some work; I can't focus with the two of you speaking so loudly."

The resulting embarrassed looks from the two women were enough of an answer. Nora turned back to her data before their apologies ended, noting with a small smile that as they began to talk softly amongst themselves once again; it was about something _other_ than the young Commander seated a few seats away.

However, her smile faded a little as she thought for a moment about _her _turian. It had been two days since Garrus had started living with her and yet despite the time that had passed Nora had seen him only for a few brief moments and had yet to spend any long period of time with him at all. Granted, the moments they had spent together had been _wonderful._ But she seemed to miss his reassuring presence no matter where she was.

_It was one thing to be a marine and walk into an empty apartment expecting no one, it was another to walk through the door expecting someone and finding yourself alone._

Nora cut her thoughts short as she realized how pathetic she was starting to sound, _wasn't this why officers were encouraged to keep their personal lives until after service?_ As she redoubled her efforts to read the mission schematics for the upcoming trip to Virmire Nora took a sip of water from her cup and set it down with utmost silence. It was time to _focus_.

It would be a difficult mission, she could tell, the information that had been gathered was far too general and not enough was known about the level of geth troops in the area to be of any help. And then there was the issue of the Planet itself. Virmire seemed to be a standard habitable world by any human extent, but looking at the map of the landing area Nora pursed her lips a little. If they got into any trouble the large rock formations would be sure to make it worse. Maneuvering in the Mako had never been her specialty, she wondered if this planet would be enough for her to consider having someone else drive.

"Hey Skipper!"

Nora looked up suddenly from the com-pad to see her Gunnery Chief approach. Dressed not in armor but in the casual clothing of civilians the look on the other womans' face made her smile.

"Not used to the cotton and jeans Williams?" Her silent laugh made the other woman return the smile, "Please, takes a seat."

"Thanks," the brunette sat down and gestured to the digital device now lying casually on the table, "Council stuff?"

Nora nodded, "Yeah, about our next mission…"

"Ah." Ashley nodded before turning to the small machine stationed by the table; ordering a drink she turned back to her commander.

"Um...skipper?"

"Hmm?" Nora set her now-finished glass of water on the table, "What's up?"

The brunette woman looked uncomfortable for a moment, the expression on her face surprising Nora. She had never known Ashley to be hesitant for any reason; it was one of traits she had admired in her comrade. What could be on her mind?

"Permission to speak freely skipper?" The request was a formality, Nora knew she had told everyone on her crew to speak to her as frankly as they desired, but it was enough of a hint to put the Commander on alert.

"Permission granted Williams; now what is the matter?"

There was another moment of hesitation before the other woman could finally put her thoughts into words.

"I saw you and Garrus yesterday," the words were whispered, "I saw you two in front of your apartment…Skipper, what's going on?"

Flashback:

_She had to find the Commander. She had heard that the Alliance brass had allowed them a week rest before the next mission, but after speaking with some of the members of the Citadel council it would seem that their 'week' of rest was going to be more like five days._

_Not that such a trivial thing mattered to her, but the Commander had been playing least-in-sight and it made her feel uneasy. The other woman had always been private, but never like this._

_Looking down at the com-pad in her hand she reread the address that glowed back at her; the room should be somewhere down this next hall. Smiling a little, Ashley tucked the pad into the pocket of her jacket and turned the corner; only to scramble back around it the second she spied the two in the hallway._

_Had she really seen what she had thought?_

_Garrus had been holding the Commander close to him, her form sheltered by his large build, her odd colored eyes soft as she looked up into his. Ashley shivered, those were the eyes of a woman in love, and she had had enough experience with her sisters to recognize it when she saw it. Still, to have such feelings for a comrade, it was against regulations; and even if Shepard was technically a Spectre, responsible only to the Council, she doubted that the Alliance would be happy if they found out. Not that she would tell them, she was a woman of honor after all, and a loyal soldier to her Commander. She would follow her superior until she was discharged or killed in action. _

_And yet, the nagging sensation in the back of her mind wouldn't seem to go away. What was it about those two made it eat away at her, making it seem that what they were doing was worse than just a relationship between comrades._

_The dull sound of two pairs of feet coming closer penetrated her consciousness like a bullet. She didn't have to look to know who it was that was approaching her position; and while she had wanted to ask them both about their relationship she found her courage desert her as she heard their voices echoing through the enclosed space. _

_Later._

_She would ask the Commander about it later. She didn't want to face them both, couldn't face them both, and especially not now. Maybe when this vacation had ended she could get the other woman aside and ask her flat out; but now, she had to get away. She had to think, and Ashley wasn't sure if she would be able to face either of them before then._

End Flashback:

"Commander. Are you and Garrus in a relationship?"

Nora had been expecting that question for some time, had waited for the day when someone from her crew would recognize the look in her eyes and ask her. The prospect had terrified her, had made her want to hide the budding relationship and live her personal life in secrecy. But this little break had made her realize just committed she really was; and so, even though she was still scared she was willing to confront it now.

"Why do you care Williams?" her voice was calm despite the slight tremoring of her hands.

"Well…" the younger woman shifted uncomfortably in her chair, "I don't really care that much about personal stuff but…Commander! He's a turian, for goodness sakes he's not even human!"

"So am I to understand that you still haven't gotten over your dislike of Turians Williams?" Nora swallowed the sudden anger that rose from that comment and smiled; it burned her to hear her friend make such an insensitive comment.

"I have!" Ashley hadn't meant it the way it sounded, "It's not that, it's just…still feels odd to me, like it isn't right. Please, I will follow you to the ends of the galaxy if you ask me to. But I need to know if you're in a relationship with Garrus."

"I thought you just said you didn't care about my personal life Williams." Her voice was still calm, so terribly calm that Ashley might have trembled from the amount of control that must have been used to suppress all the others.

"I-I don't Skipper it just that…are you two truly…"

"The Commander and I are a relationship." The familiar masculine voice came from behind her, startling the younger woman while drawing a soft smile from the other.

It was a look quite unlike anything she had ever seen on her Commanders' face. A mixture of relaxation and happiness that revealed the secret sort of timid nature Nora had for romance.

"Back already?" Nora spoke so as to give Ashley time to recover from the shock, "You said you were going to be gone all day."

Ashley watched in silent wonder as something resembling exasperation crossed the Turians' face.

"I cut my visit short. I had the feeling that you would stay up late like last time if I really did take all day."

Flashback:

_Garrus looked at the clock and groaned as he walked through the metallic hallways of the apartment complex. He really had been gone for an entire day helping Citadel Security find his replacement. It had been entertaining meeting some of the newer recruits but they had not found a suitable candidate thus far. He would have to return again tomorrow to continue the search; which implied that he would have to leave Nora alone again. _

_Funny that despite his initial hesitance and wish to be more distant he now found himself tied so closely to her that being separated for as little as a day made him more anxious than he had ever been during Spectre observation as a child. _

_Arriving at the apartment, Garrus punched in the sequence he had long since memorized and smiled a little as the door slid open with a soft hiss; only to find his smile fall into a worried frown as he took in the scene before him. _

_Nora sat quietly on the couch wrapped in a blanket while she tried to read the Citadel records of their next assignment and from the way her eyes kept sliding shut he could guess how long she had been using this to keep her up._

_"Nora, what are you doing?" The concern of his voice drew her attention, her light-purple eyes smudged with exhaustion opening slowly to meet his brilliant blue._

_"Waiting for you," the words were said hesitantly, as if they were trying not to upset him, "I couldn't get to sleep so I figured I'd wait up and get some more work done."_

_Garrus sighed again as he crossed the room and took her into his strong arms, blanket and all, "Come on Sheppard, time for both of us to get some rest."_

_The human woman did little save for to rest her head on his shoulder and sigh contently._

_"I missed you."_

End Flashback:

"I didn't mean anything with my questions." Ashley spoke once Garrus had settled in the chair next to the other woman, "I just wanted a clarification to what I saw in front of your apartment."

"Fair enough," it was the first time Nora had spoken without restraining her mood, relaxed enough now to speak easily, "I suppose I owe you an apology then."

Ashley shook her head before the other woman could say anything else, "It was fine. My fault anyway for prying."

"Very well then," Nora stood up and touched Garrus gently on the shoulder, "We'll see you in a couple days on the Normandy."

"Yes Commander!" Ashley stood and saluted as she watched the older woman walk away her hand clasped together with that of the Turian.

"Oh! And Williams?" Nora paused for a moment to turn back to the other woman, "You won't tell anyone will you?" The question was hesitant; she thought it would be the last time she would ever hear her Commander sound like that.

But she was wrong.

It would happen one final time, week later on a planet she had never heard of; Virmire.

"Of course not; it's none of their business anyway."


	7. Chapter 7: Gaining Ground

"Commander, I'm reading a signal. Must be our Salarian infiltration team."

Joker's voice rang out behind her as Shepard peered through one of the small port windows of the Normandy. Next to her Kaiden whistled under his breath.

"Check out those defense towers"

Shepard turned her head just slightly and caught a glimpse of one sleek tower before it disappeared. The report the Council had given her had been vague at best, and from how the situation looked now she doubted that it would get any better; there were small groups of geth on what seemed to be every river bank and untold numbers still hidden among the rocks and undergrowth.

Still, she had a job to do, and she was not about to balk. The time she had spent at the Citadel had only hardened her resolve and now was her moment to do her job.

"Drop the Mako, we'll go in hot and take them out." She said as she turned away from the window and signaled her pilot.

"Ash, Garrus…you're with me." There was a steely sort of resolve in her voice reminiscent of the missions on Noveria and Feros, "I'm going to need some serious firepower on this one."

Both Gunnery Sergeant and Turian Agent just nodded before quickly disappearing bellow deck, suiting up with an efficiency bellying their time under Shepards' command.

Still, it would seem that despite all of her practice Ashley could not pack as quickly as her Turian companion and she it was only when the elevator hissed at the end of the room that she realized he had left. Shaking her head softly she hid a rueful smile behind her hand and then proceeded to finish gearing up – no doubt the Commander was waiting for her too.

"I'll get you in underneath their radar, Commander. " Joker promised as all three members of the ground squad buckled into the Mako, and then without another word ejected the land vehicle to the sandy shores of Virmire.

"Goddamn it!"

Nora looked out of the corner of her eye and almost smiled. Ashley always did have a knack for voicing exactly how everyone else was feeling, and judging from the scowl on the younger womans' face she was good a showing it too.

"They're not standing still for you Williams?" Nora teased as she lined up her aiming reticule and fired of a short burst, taking down two geth as a crate behind them exploded.

The Gunnery Sergeant just laughed a little and copied the motion, taking down a third target with the larger rounds.

"Not at all…"

From the driver seat Garrus shouted a sudden warning as the Mako accelerated upwards into the air and then landed back down with a thud heavy enough to temporarily disorient the two people manning the turrets.

"Everyone ok?" He shouted as he pulled the Mako into a hard left, "We're approaching the third gun. Ready Up!"

Nora's hands quickly moved to grasp the shotgun that was strapped to her lower back. Solid and familiar, she had upgraded it on the Normandy only a few hours ago and had only just started to try them out; hopefully the new rounds she had decided to use would prove a little more efficiency to her weapon of choice but she would need to test it more before anything was certain.

"Williams, I want you on assault rifle, Garrus you too." Nora's command came as the Mako came to a full stop, door opening with a hiss.

And then she was outside, her lithe form dodging from boulder to boulder as she avoided blaster fire to race up the stone stairwells, up the wall that was blocking their way.

Two geth on the stairs quickly fell, shot down as she continued to propel herself forward, mind focused on the task at hand. Another at the top came down as well, this time the victim of a particularly nasty mass effect warp.

Behind her she could hear Ashley and Garrus fire within seconds of one another, taking down two geth with precision. Leveling her gun with yet another unfortunate geth that had gotten itself in her way, she pumped two slugs into its body before it collapsed. Her hand and shoulder ached a little now, the recoil was definitely little bit worse, the rounds took considerable amount energy to release. Still, she was far from done, and so signaling for her two companions she readied herself to clear out the last room.

The small fight took only a few moments, the geth wholly unprepared, far too involved in manning the AA guns. And by the time Garrus had opened the gates Nora was just finishing up gathering all the spare weapons parts of the destroyed machines.

"Ready to go?" he asked after deactivating the Omni-tool at his wrist.

"Yeah just give me a second, there's this really great stabilizer in this weapon…"

"Alright commander, it's all clear."

And then the three of them were back in the Mako and fighting their way through the final geth defenses on their way to the distressed Citadel forces.

At camp:

"So what are we supposed to do now?"

Nora directed the question to the Salarian she assumed was in charge and waited for a response, hoping it was more productive than simply waiting for something to happen. It would seem however that irony would be plentiful on this particular mission.

"We stay put until we can come up with a plan," the Salarian answered blandly, "By the way, I'm Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Regiment STG."

Motioning vaguely to the surrounding area he continued, "You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hotzone. Every AA within ten miles has been alerted to your presence."

The comment was unsurprising, after all the ground team had taken out only three of the guns, and the mission stats Nora had been given had estimated the number to be closer to ten. It would be suicide to attempt to fly out of the area. Still, that didn't mean she wanted to just waist around…it made her anxious and unsettled. Glancing behind her she noted that both Kaiden and Ashley had moved to flank her on either side, similar expressions of unease on their face.

"What are we supposed to do in the meantime?" She asked turning back to the Captain.

"We stay put until the Council sends the reinforcements we requested." He responded with absolute confident, "They should be arriving soon."

The pause that extended after that comment was a mixed of confusion and the lingering feeling of hope. _Troops_, he said the word as if he was expecting a large battery of soldiers, certainly not this small group led by a human Spectre. In the end even Nora could not find the heart to tell the alien commander and it was then that her Lieutenant spoke up.

"We are the reinforcements."

"What?!"Captain Kirrahe's surprise was muted, from the look on his face Nora figured by horror "You're all the council sent? I told the council to send a fleet."

"We couldn't understand your message so we were sent here to investigate."

As commanding officer of the 'rescue' team there was little she could do but sound sympathetic.

"That is a repetition of our task. I lost half my men investigating this place." The Salarian was obviously in shock but still willing to help where he could.

"So what have you found?" Kaiden asked quietly, moving so that he was near parallel with his commanding officer. Nora found his quiet calm a reassurance that she had not realized she had needed.

"Saren's base of operations." Captain Kirrahe's tone was grim, "He's set up a research facility here but it's crawling with geth and very well fortified."

"Saren?" Nora was actually a little surprised, "Is he here…have you seen him?"

A deeper frown, "No, but his geth are everywhere, and we've intercepted some comms referring to Saren. This is his facility there's no doubt about it."

"What's Saren researching?"

"He's using the facility to breed an army of Krogan." Nora felt the implications of that comment ripple outward, affecting all she knew about the mission. This would cause so many more problems, especially with…

"How is that possible?" It only took a few short seconds for Wrex to appear, his eyes intent on the Salarian captain, his expression both aggressive and tense. A glance was all Nora needed to begin feeling uneasy.

"Apparently Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage." Kirrahe explained quickly.

"The geth are bad enough. But a krogan army…he'd be almost unstoppable." She couldn't stop herself from speaking even though she knew where this conversation was leading. She shifted a little, casting another wary look in at her krogan companion before quickly hiding it behind her calm façade.

"Exactly my thoughts." Nora's stomach clenched as the Salarian captain spoke, "We must ensure that this facility and its secrets are destroyed."

"Destroyed?" Wrex's outrage was clear and as he moved closer to both commander and captain there was no missing his hostility, "I don't think so, our people are dying. This cure can save them."

"If that cure leaves this planet the krogan will become unstoppable. We can't make the same mistake again." It would seem as if the Salarian knew little of diplomatic conversation, for no sooner had his words been spoken that the Wrex exploded in rage.

"We are not a mistake!" His towering presence over both captain and commander was nearly enough to make Nora tremble, her hands quickly clenching in effort to stop the tremors. And then in the next second the angry krogan had stormed off, leaving the air thick with tension.

"Is he going to be a problem?" Kirrahe asked, "We already have enough angry krogan to deal with.

"He'll be fine...I'll talk to him." Nora reassured Captain Kirrahe as Wrex stalked along the sand shores of Virmire, finding solace on a far patch of beach where he began to fire his gun into the air. T

"Wrex'll be fine." The commander repeated the words once more as she turned around, as if to convince herself that she was telling the truth. It did little to help her, and based on the looks of the other two UNC officers standing before her they too remained uneasy.

"If you say so." Ashley's tone was appeasing, "But I'm going to keep an eye on him, if it's all the same to you." The almost imperceptible move of her hand to rest on her holstered rifle told the human commander how exactly how her weapons specialist would be 'keeping an eye.' Nora could only nod helplessly, unwilling give the 'ok' because she knew Ashley wouldn't hesitate to take Wrex down if he went too far but at the same time wishing she could say 'no' because she wanted to believe her bond with Wrex could be trusted, could be relied on to make him see reason.

It made Nora uncomfortable to have such a tension within her crew and looking around the small alcove she could see that it had affected everyone. Liara and Tali kept looking over at Wrex rigid with anxiety, Ashley had moved off to get a better view of Wrex in case anything should happen, Kaiden had characteristically fallen silent and even Garrus showed signs of tension in his usually relaxed stance.

Gathering her courage, Nora inhaled deeply before following the large footprints Wrex had made in the sand. One step, then another, and another, and another until she was standing not four feet from the battle-hardened mercenary his gun still drawn and sending a few large slugs into the open air.

"That isn't right commander." He spoke sharply in his anger, "If there is a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

"Calm down Wrex," Nora considered her next words with agonizing care, "I'm not the enemy here. Saren's the one you should be mad at."

"Really? Saren created a cure for my people, you want to destroy it. Help me out here Sheppard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand. "

"I shouldn't have to explain that to you Wrex," The human woman couldn't keep her usually dormant temper from surfacing, her jaw setting stubbornly as she moved one step towards him in confrontation. He doubted her, that she wouldn't try to help him, Nora could feel her anger spike and subconsciously her hand reached for the shotgun resting on her lower back.

"Indulge me" Wrex said, his hand pulling out his gun and taking careful aim at Nora, the latter of whom had only just unclasped the gun from its holster.

"I've been loyal to you so far. Hell, you did more for me than my family ever did. But, if I'm going to keep following you, I need to know that we're doing it for the right reason."

"Wrex these krogan are not your people." Nora hesitated for a moment before reholstering her weapon, she had to do this without force, "They're slaves of Saren. Tools. Is this what you want for them?"

Her words made the larger warrior pause for a long time, as if to weigh each word in turn. Behind her Nora could hear Ashley shift nervously, and so to prevent anything from happening Nora signaled the other woman to stand down. The order understood immediately, but it took several long moments before Ashley finally complied. It was only then once the other woman had left that Wrex seemed to come to a conclusion.

"No, we were tools for the council once. To thank us for wiping out the rachni they neutered us all, I doubt Saren will be as generous."

Wrex lowered his weapon and Nora could feel herself exhale unaware that she had been holding her breath.

"Alright Shepard. You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead." The krogan battle master made to move away, his commander turning away in kind, only to stop as something came to his mind.

"Shepard. Just one thing, when we find Saren, I want his head."

Nora could only smile softly as she turned to look at her companion.

"Of course."

And without another word she turned to away, walking easily to the Turian who stood waiting for her, pausing for only a moment before she smiled up at him.

"Let's get to work."


	8. Chapter 8: Pushing Forward

Sorry SOOOOO much for the wait!! I made this one extra long as a sort of apology - but I went on vacation before I could finish this and so that's why it took me forever. I really hope you like this chapter despite the massive break in updates. Thanks again for reading - and please review!

Voi

* * *

"Greetings human, I am Commander Rentola."

Commander Shepard nodded in greeting but did little else; her confrontation with Wrex had drained her of what little energy she had left.

"I can provide you with supplies for the upcoming mission. For anything else I suggest you ask Captain Kirrahe."

"Alright, let me see what you have."

"What little there is." The Salarian commander apologized as he opened up the crates of supplies.

Nora just quirked her lips into a partial smile before bending over to take a look at the equipment her eyes passing over the lesser weapons with little more than a blink. Years of serving the Alliance had familiarized the human Commander with the standard issue weaponry and after all the experience she had gained it took a truly remarkable piece of equipment for her to willingly spend any of her credit on it. Soldiers were not very well paid, regardless of position.

"I'll just take this." Her hand gestured briefly to the various parts that made up the grenade upgrade before seeking out the pouch on her suit that contained her small stash of credits. Once the funds had been exchanged and the item now in her possession Nora turned to the Turian who waited by the doorway and signaled for him to follow.

Exiting the large storage tent Nora walked down the metallic ramp turned the corner away from the rest of her crew. Spotting Garrus as he appeared a few moments later she smiled despite the location.

"Could you take this back to the Normandy?" She asked patiently, her hand extending to offer him the grenade upgrades, " I have to talk to Captain Kirrahe to see if he's come up with any plan for us– when he does I'll need all of our equipment ready for suit up."

"Of course, Commander." Garrus' voice was a comforting rumble, "Anything else?"

She would not have asked him to come here if it was only to assign him official Alliance work.

He watched in silence as she opened her mouth to say something and then hesitate. The slim fingers of her hands drew his attention as they shifted restlessly. Garrus knew such a twitch to be one of the few give-always that his commander was nervous about something.

"Nora?" He took one step closer in comfort; it placed her in the shadow of his figure and was as close as he was willing to stand without causing suspicion. Still, it seemed that even this small gesture was enough for his wildly contradictory love.

Strange purple-blue eyes met his shyly and shone bright with affection; the smallest change in her smile the only indication of what she wanted to say but could not.

_I love you._

"No… That will be all, thank you Garrus."



And she turned back to the large expanse of beach noting in silence all people busily getting ready.

"Take care." She whispered as she brushed her hand against his and let it linger for a moment longer.

_I'll see you in a little._

Words always went unsaid between them.

"Thank you for speaking with the Krogan. The assault on Sarens' base will be difficult as it is."

"I assume that means you've come up with a plan." Nora said, clamping down on the twinge of annoyance she felt towards the Captain.

_He made it sound like Wrex was 'just another problem' that had to be dealt with._

"Of sorts." Kirrahe continued neutrally, "We can divert our ships drive system into twenty kiloton ordinance. Crude but effective."

The idea got a grin from her Gunnery Chief, "Nice. Drop that nuke from orbit and Saren can kiss his turian ass goodbye."

_It almost seemed too easy…_

"Have you calculated if a detonation from drop-impact would be enough to blow away the base?" Nora asked curiously, if they had then perhaps extraction from this planet would not be as hard as she had originally thought.

"Ah well…there in lies the problem. The facility is too well fortified for that. We'll need to place the bomb at a precise location."

Out of the corner of her eye Nora saw Kaiden straighten in attention as Ashley sighed in defeat, no easy victory this time.

"So where do we take the nuke then?" she asked readily, "And how do we get there?"

"The bomb must be taken to the far side of the facility. Your ship can drop it off but we'll need to infiltrate the base, disable the AA guns, and pacify any ground forces first."

"That's quite the mission for us Captain," Nora said slowly, already trying to come up with the team she would need for the infiltration. It would certainly prove to be a challenge, they didn't have the man power – she hoped she could come up with something new.

From behind her Kaiden spoke up for the first time since the meeting had started, "You want us to go in on foot? We don't have enough men."



Nora agreed having failed to come up with any other option, "It does sound a bit risky, is there no other way?"

"No, but I think we can work around that." Nora watched as the Salarian captain assessed the number of soldiers walking around the beach, "I'm going to divide my men into three teams and hit the front of the facility. While we've got their attention you can sneak your "shadow" team in the back."

The plan made sense – and Nora knew from experience that it could work. However, the sacrifices would be large and the idea made her uncomfortable.

"It's a good idea, but your people are going to get slaughtered."

"We're tougher than we look Commander. But it's true; I don't expect many of us will make it out alive."

The human commander could only clench her hands as he spoke the words. Not one part of her agreed with sacrifice, not after what had happened to her at Akuze. If there had been more time she would have found another way, but luck would not be with her this time.

"And that makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult." The Salarian Captain had not stopped his talking, "Commander – I'm going to need one of your men to accompany me, to help coordinate the teams."

_Another sacrifice…_

"We'll need someone who knows Alliance communication protocols." Nora was only barely aware of what she was saying, too distracted by the rising feeling of discomfort. She wanted to find another way…there had to be.

"I'll volunteer commander." It was Kaiden who had responded first. Nora found herself unsurprised by the happening. Having spent months with everyone she prided herself on knowing everyone on at least some sort of personal basis and Kaiden she knew was the self-sacrificing kind. He knew, just as well as she did, that Ashley was the only other person who knew the communication protocols.

"Not so fast LT. Commander Shepard will need you to arm the nuke. I'll go with the Salarians."

Nora almost smiled; Ashley really was a predictable sort of girl, of course she was not going to just lie down and let Kaiden take command. But then, Kaiden was no slouch either.

"With all due respect Gunnery Chief, it's not your place to decide."

"Why is it that whenever someone says 'with all due respect' they really mean 'kiss my ass'?"

Nora really did smile this time, she had forgotten how funny her two crewmates could be. But just as soon as her smile appeared so too did it disappear.

The decision was hers, who was she going to send with the Salarian Captain?

"Williams," She could feel her throat tighten with emotion, "You'll accompany the captain. No heroics, understood?"



The younger womans' face was solemn, "Aye aye commander."

"I will have the ordinance loaded onto the Normandy and brief your crew on its detonation sequencing." Captain Kirrahe gave the three humans a look that clearly stated there was much more to do.

"Do you have any questions Commander?" He asked gently.

"None," The human commander knew all she needed to, "But may I have a few moments to talk with my crew?"

"Of course… if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare my men as well."

And then he was gone, leaving Nora to gather her crew for what felt like one final time. Of course, she was just being dramatic. They would see each other at the end of the mission the same way they always had. Ashley would be commended for great team work and Kaiden would forever be teasing her about how the 'baby' of the crew had _finally _grown up.

And yet, Nora couldn't quite shake her feeling of foreboding.

"Well, this is it." Ashley touched her assault rifle and smiled, "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, LT. You too Commander."

Nora managed a smile, "You take care Williams."

Kaiden also managed a few words of encouragement for the younger woman, "We'll be fine. You'll see."

"Yeah, I just..good luck." Ashley looked apologetic, something so very unlike her that Nora felt compelled to press her.

"Is there something you want to say Chief?"

"I don't know. It's just weird going under someone elses' command. I've got used to working with you…all of you."

Kaiden said something then that Nora couldn't hear. She was too stuck on what the other woman had just said. It really was going to be 'weird' not having her weapons chief with her, she would feel the loss, no matter how short the time.

Still, it serve no end to share just how unbalanced she was by the situation as well. And so she gave the other woman what words of encouragement she could.

"It doesn't matter if we're not in the same unit. We're still a team. Watch each others' backs, keep your eyes open and fight like I know you can. We'll all come out of this in one piece."

She meant every word; they _would_ all finish this together. She would make sure of it.

"You bet, Commander."

In the hour given to her following the Captain's dismissal Nora found little time to do anything other than concentrate on the mission. The team going with her had practically been pre-selected but she had few problems with the set up. She had no doubt that the extra biotic power would come in handy.

But so focused was she on the state of weaponry and crew that when at last she saw the familiar three talon claws it was too late.

Gasping in surprise Nora nearly fell head long into the large storage room the Normandy had been using as a giant weapons lock. However, before her ever so fragile human head could make contact with the cold metal floor she found herself suddenly spun about until she rested quite comfortably in Garrus' arms.

Looking into his brilliant blue eyes she smiled and whispered a soft 'hello.'

She had become increasingly affectionate towards him since their shore leave. Subtle as always, but the small touches, and the smiles were enough to prove to the otherwise stoic turian that though her mind may be on the mission her heart was always thinking of him.

Not that he was ever unfair. It was different for him though. Years of training as a soldier did nothing to help him now, and falling in love with a human was certainly different than courting a Turian female. Though he had a strong suspicion that at least on some level both species of female had the potential to get dangerous when pushed too far.

He never wanted to see Nora upset at him…ever.

Which was why, no matter how awkward, he allowed himself to show how much he cared in the little things he did.

"Hello," his word was a satisfied rumble in his chest, the hand not resting on the womans lower back coming up to touch her cheek gently. He savored the touch though he said nothing, it was not lost on him that had they met a mere thirty years ago there would have been nothing to protect their budding relation. The First Contact War was still felt by many, and even now there was mistrust between their two species.

"Are you doing alright?" He asked softly as he held her slight body against his own, touching one tense shoulder.

"I'm a bit stressed," she admitted just as quietly, closing her eyes as she rested her head to his chest, her hand resting on the hand on her shoulder.

"You'll be alright?" The concern ripped through the statement turning it into a question.

Nora felt the corners of her mouth tug into a smile, "Yeah. I'll bring everyone back safe."

There was a moment of silence before Garrus spoke up again.

"You're talking Lieutenant Alenko and Wrex with you?" his hands closed reflexively and cuddled the human woman all the more closer, until he could smell that uniquely individual smell that was his 

love. He had wanted to go with her, but she was still the Commander and he would follow her orders until the end.

"I need Kaiden to help with communication, and I promised Wrex that if we met up with Saren in the facility I'd let him take that traitor down. Besides, Captain Kirrahe said that Saren might have a found for the Genophage; that's not something Wrex is going to just let pass him by."

Garrus could only nod in understanding. There was nothing to be jealous of, and he had no doubt that both the human Lieutenant and the battle hardened warrior could take care of themselves.

"I suppose I should let you get ready then." He said quietly, easing the tight hold he had around her waist.

"Yeah…" She sighed longingly.

"Come back in one piece." It was surprisingly tender despite his best attempt to sound stern.

Nora could only give a final smile before tapping the shotgun resting on her lower back, "For you? Anything."

And then she gave him a friendly nudge before heading towards the door.

"Remind Joker to keep a watch out ok? I'll see you in a bit."

And then she was gone from his view, moving with purpose to suit up and so start the mission.

_Com check. Do you read me commander?_

There was a slight crackle of static over the headsets but it was too minimal to give notice. Nora turned the dial on the volume down a little but replied in the affirmative.

"Loud and clear."

_Good._

Across the com Nora could hear him shout something to one of his commanding officers before returning to talk directly into his head set.

_We'll start our push. We'll try to make it to the AA guns, but it might be up to you to finish the job. _

Nora frowned despite the fact that there was no way for the Salarian to see; she was a realist to be sure, but did he really have to say that?

"Alright," Nora turned to look at her two comrades, "Let's get this thing going. We're going to be doing some recon so give me a signal if you see anything."



And so the mission began.

_Their calling sat-strikes. Jaeto watch for com stations. Williams can you see anything?_

Nora grit her teeth as she came under heavy fire. They had already destroyed the three bases the geth were using to coordinate their movements but it would seem that the three frontal troops were still taking too much damage.

Muttering curse words that would have made any hardened marine proud Nora slammed another cartridge of bullets into her shotgun pausing only to release a particularly viscous warp.

From the corner of her eye she could make out Kaidens' form crouched behind a boulder, his form pulsating with the telltale purple-blue of the mass effect energy. His face was wet with sweat and the saline water at their feet.

"You doing ok there Alenko?"

The human woman leveled her shotgun and took down another geth soldier, noticing for the first time that her shoulder was starting to ache. It would appear that the adjustments she had made were not enough to take all the edge off her guns' recoil.

"I'm doing fine Commander."

Nora looked to her other side at the large Krogan who was calmly taking down one geth after another.

"How about you Wrex?"

The large alien just grunted as he fired off another two shots, the two following splashes met with only a satisfied smirk on the Krogans' face.

"Alright. Let's keep going then."

_Captain Kirrahe's down!_

Nora could feel her heart tighten slightly but focused on running down the dimly lit halls of compound, a new tightness to her features.

_Aegohl, form up with Jaeto. Hold that line!_

_Holding ground. Jaeto around me. Shadow teams must be getting close._



"Move it- double time!" Nora snarled as she heard the news over the com. They weren't moving fast enough, the Salarian teams were taking too much damage.

"We got access to base security."

Kaiden might have been an amazing biotic but Nora could not remember if he had ever shown her just how skilled he was with technology. Seeing him cut so easily into the heavily firewalled security protocols made her smile, "Well done."

"I should be able to cut the alarms from here, might even be able to trigger the alarms on the far side of the base," Kaiden paused and turned to look at her, "It'll clear the guards out for us but it might be too much for Williams and the Salarians to handle."

"Just disable the alarms," Nora agreed, "We can handle any guards inside."

The dim lighting of the elevator was a sweet salvation to the sensitive eyes of the human commander. Virmire may have looked like a kinder more undeveloped earth but there was just a tad too much sunlight, not that anyone else would know. Nora felt a sudden surge of homesickness that surprised her. It was much too late to develop the longing she had never had as a child. Between the harsh environment and increasingly difficult mission there was little time to think, but the few scarce moments like these.

And even then, all Nora could muster the energy to think about was the state of the task she had been assigned.

Everything was getting worse by some degree or another.

She could only hope they would get to Ashley in time.

And then the time to think was over - the large metal doors opening with just the barest of sounds.

The room in which they emerged was as equally dark as the elevator, but allowed natural light to stream in through the few sparse windows set high in the walls.

From her vantage point the human commander could see that the room was all but bare, the exception being the presence of a very familiar looking artifact.

Kaiden had apparently followed her gaze, for not a second passed before he spoke up.

"Commander... It's another beacon. Like the one on Eden Prime."

Nodding in agreement, Nora began to walk down the metal catwalk and taking in beacon Saren must have unearthed somewhere on the planet.

Another artifact, another link to the Protheans.



The closer she moved towards it the more she realized that a dull roaring had filled her ears and was getting louder. Her eyesight was already half flickering with images, both those that were familiar and those that were not.

However, it was only when she finally stood before the beacon that she was overcome.

Image after image flashed before her eyes, filled her brain and nearly choked her with their intensity until even her body responded to the overload by collapsing onto her knees. But the images continued for several long moments more, and by the time they had ended Nora was nearly incapable of processing what was going on around her.

It was only when Kaiden extended a gloved hand that she finally was able to focus.

Shakily getting to her feet, Nora braced herself against Kaiden for a moment before taking a deep steadying breath.

"You ok commander?" Kaiden asked worriedly.

"Fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Nora looked up at her friend and smiled, "I'm not going to break-"

Nora felt rather than saw a shift in the room, next to her it became apparent that Wrex had as well.

"Wrex, you felt that too?" Her voice had dropped to a whisper inadvertently.

"I get the feeling something bad is about to happen…" The krogan rumbled back his large eyes scanning the sparse room.

The response was immediate, but not made by the human woman who had opened her mouth to answer.

"You are not Saren."

There was a sudden metallic vibration in the room, a deep but emotionless voice.

"What is that?!" The words were more an exclamation than the whispered question Kaiden had tried to make it, "Some sort of VI interface?"

"Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh." The words were meant to be condescending but the lack of feeling behind them made the words that much more alien, "You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding."

Nora was instantly aware of an icy cold prod to her mind, as if a metal sensor had just been placed there.

"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension, I am Sovereign."

Nora felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle as she began to fill in the holes of her knowledge.



"Sovereign isn't just some Reaper ship Saren found." She said as the thought dawned on her, "It's an actual Reaper!"

"Reaper?" The metallic voice sounded amused, "A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are."

"The Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago," The guttural voice of the Krogan Battle Master interjected swiftly, "You couldn't have been there. It's impossible!"

"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, _an accident_. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. – We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."

Despite the fact that she had assumed that the Reaper was indeed emotionless the last few phrases had indeed sounded like an insult rather than fact – or perhaps, as the machine was suggesting, the facts really were not so favorable to organics.

"There is an entire galaxy of races united and ready to face you." She told the voice calmly, her hands carefully resting at her side.

_We will not give into you – we will not just stand by and let you take away everything we hold dear._

"Confidence born of ignorance," The voice responded, "Or is it?"

Nora felt the metallic probing increase in pressure and flinched slightly.

"The cycle cannot be broken." The voice resumed, "The pattern has repeated itself for more times than you can fathom. Organic civilization, rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my people."

Nora became increasingly confused, "Why would you build the mass relays, then leave them for someone else to find?

"Our civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays, our technology. By using it your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. And you will end we because we demand it."

Kaiden's cry of outrage only amplified her own sick realization. "They're harvesting us!" The realization was muted with horror, "Letting us advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!

"What do you want from us?" Nora's voice was tight with the nausea and anger that was steadily growing within her, "Slaves? Resources?"

"My kind transcends your very understanding."

Sovereigns metallic voice responded once more with its familiar cadence, "We are each a nation. Independent, free of all weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence."

"Where are the other Reapers? Nora asked. Surely if the machine was telling the truth there must be others. Still she dared to hope, "**Are you the last of your kind?**"



"We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."

The words were condescendingly unfeeling and they were enough to push the already emotionally strained commander to the edge. In the span of a second Nora broke her hold on her temper and shifted from controlled to contemptuous as easily as she took her next breath.

"You're not even alive." She spat, her hands trembling with the pulse of emotion, "Not really. You're just a _machine_. And machines can be broken!" Her final words were spoken with such vicious softness that the promise, for Nora never threatened, hung in the air for a few moments of suspended silence.

In the back of her mind she realized that in all probability she had stunned both of her companions. But she had neither the time nor the luxury to look at their faces, and so she kept her expression stoic as she glared up at the digital projection of her most hated enemy.

"Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction." The deep tones of the Reaper seemed unchanged in the face of such anger, absolute in its tone. But in its final parting words Nora felt a sudden sweeping of violent irritation as the icy cold in the back of her mind disappeared.

"This exchange is over."

It was then that the beacon before them shattered throwing a sudden crackle of energy into the air. Brilliant scarlet arcs of lightening raced across the metallic surfaces of the room shattering the windows with a force that propelled all three organics several paces. The human commander had little doubt that if it had not been for their insulated suits both she and her companions would have been nicely burned to a crisp.

_Commander?_

There was a sudden crackle of radio activity from the Normandy. It was slightly marred by static perhaps a result of the electrical overload in the room but there was little else getting in the way of the transmission.

_We got trouble._

Nora's response was immediate, her earlier expression of anger fading as she caught the undercurrents of worry in her pilots' voice.

"Hit me, Joker."

_That ship, Sovereign? It's moving. I don't know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half. _

If the woman hadn't known any better she would have sworn she heard her pilot was jealous, then again, he probably was. Joker did always find the strangest things enviable.

_It's coming your way and it's coming hard! _He warned her, the crackled of the static increasing as he did so; _you need to wrap things up in there – Fast!_



The communications link shut off with no other comment from her pilot leaving Nora to sort through the information just given to her.

Everything that Sovereign had told her was forcibly pushed to the side for the moment as she rationalized and prioritized.

_They had to get out of here…but there was still a bomb to be planted, and she _had_ to get Ashley and what remained of the Salarian infiltration team. There was no way she was leaving any man behind when she blew the base into the next galaxy._

"This console is shot. Orders, Commander?"

Kaiden's comment was calm and unhurried but held enough impatience to make her look at him with a smile. He really was quite an unusual man, every time she brought him along he never ceased to amaze her with yet another facet of his personality.

Shifting her gaze from the human to the Krogan mercenary who stared back at her with uninterested eyes she forced herself not to smile a second time, for fear of looking slightly mad.

"Not interesting enough for you Wrex?" She asked teasingly as she took a quick glance at the destroyed computer terminal and then made her way to the awaiting elevator.

"It suits me well enough Shepard." His reply was gruff as it always was and she was almost disappointed with his reply. At least until he muttered, "You certainly know how to pick planets that keep me on my toes."

"Truly?" Despite herself Nora's eyes lit up at the comment, "Well then, all the more reason to keep tippy-toeing around this planet just a bit more."

And then sobering just the smallest of margins, the human woman pushed the button to start the elevator.

"Let's go to the breeding facility." She said softly, her voice amplified by the design of the room, "Joker can pick us up after we set the nuke."

_And wipe this place from the face of the galaxy._


	9. Chapter 9: Spiral Downward

Hello Everyone!

It's been a while, but I'm back with a new chapter. I'm happy to report that this fic now was over 9000 views, so thanks so much for your continued support. I should have another chapter in a few weeks (maybe less if I get far enough along). As always, comments and suggestions are always appreciated!

Thanks so much,

Voi

* * *

It had all been going according to plan. Every damn detail was going to be perfect, or as perfect as a soldier could expect from a mission. From the moment they had left their basement encounter with Sovereign to now, _everything_ had been going _perfect._ And now, all that was left was to get Ashley and the rest of the Salarian troops out of the tower. Time was tight, but enough remained to make a final run, to retrieve their comrade and finally quench the uneasiness that had been sitting in Shepards' stomach since the mission had began. So _why_ had it gone so wrong?

"Wrex. Garrus." Commander Nora Shepard pointed quickly to the two larger aliens and made a quick motion with her hand, "Let's move out – we've got less than twenty minutes to move from this section of the building, across the adjoining roof and into the AA towers - I want it done in ten."

Both nodded readily and drew their preferred weapons into their steady hands.

The ensuing fire fight was perhaps one of the most intense any of them had ever experienced. Heavily armed Krogan warriors with even heavier weaponry, the more intuitive Geth fighters and the constant barrage of cannon fire was enough to delay Commander Shepard and her two crewmates for more than she could have liked. It was only when they managed to throw themselves into the elevator to the rooftops that either of them wasted the time to breathe.

However, such luxuries would be short lived; as no sooner had they arrived on the strangely empty roof that the three watched an insect-like Geth ship fly over them.

"Damn, Geth are sending in reinforcements." Wrexs' voice was an irritated grumble.

As if on cue, there was a sudden crackling from the radio-comms, and though not the direct recipient of the message Commander Shepard heard it all the same.

_Heads up LT, _Ashley's voice was hard to make out over the gunfire in the background;_ we just spotted a troop ship headed to your location._

_It's already here, _it was Kaiden this time, his voice tense, _there's Geth pouring out all over the bomb site. _

"Hold on Lieutenant," Shepards' mind was already at work, "I'm coming back to get you."

_And then I'll run back for Ashley, there was still time._

_Negative._ It was Kaiden again, _there's just too many of them. I don't think we can hold them off._

"Kaiden," Her voice was a warning.

_I'm activating the bomb._

"What? Alenko, what are you doing?" Nora's voice was sharp, unflinchingly demanding. But while she felt her voice solidify she could almost feel the counterbalance of her mind.

_Don't make me choose, _she was begging in the one place no one could hear.

_Please…_

Nora could feel the pounding of her heart echo in her ears, until it seemed to drown out every other sound.

…just making sure… bomb goes off … no matter what.

"Kaiden," she tried again willing her head to stop pounding so that she could stop him before he forced her hand.

_Don't make me choose…Kaiden; do not make me choose… _

_I won't be able to…please don't…_

The human woman found all of her fears confirmed in the next shattering moment.

"_It's done, Commander,"_ His voice was soft, almost apologetic, as it crossed the comm, "_Go get Williams and get the hell out of here."_

He had done it, damn it. He had gone and forced her to choose. And now it was all up to her, not matter how much she wished it otherwise.

_But who to choose? Why? _

The timer on the bomb was ticking, there was only going to be time enough to get one of them and then take the Normandy out a safe distance.



_Why? _

_Why did it have to be this way? Goddamn it Kaiden!_

Walking forward to lean on the railing of one of the adjoining catwalks; Nora stared out to the blue and green mountains in the distance.

_Who was she going to choose?_

From the corner of her mind Commander Shepard recognized as her ever outspoken gunnery chief began to argue.

"_Screw that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko." _Her tone suggested that no compromise would be in order.

It didn't matter though; the final choice was hers.

_So who would it be?_

Time was ticking away, uncaring as it pushed the human woman to the edge.

_Who would it be?_

Her Lieutenant was very much the older brother she had never had. All smiled and caring air, he made her believe that family could be more than just leading a pack of city rats from warehouse to warehouse in search of safety. He made her think that she could laugh without the burden of the past, just as he did.

But there was Ashley too. The fiery spirited older sister who had worked _so_ hard to overcome the discrimination that came with her surname. Would it be fair to take away one who was so cared about? Someone who still had so much life left to live? There was a connection between them they were both survivors. Was it right for one survivor to condemn another to death just to 'survive' once more?

_Who? Who?_

_It wasn't right, she was not going to do this…she was going to…_

"Commander." This time it was a voice over her shoulder, not her headset that got her attention.

"Garrus?"

"Forgive me for interrupting," he apologized, "but we cannot wait any longer – you must choose now."

_So there really was no way to avoid it…_

"Yes, of course."

"Alenko…" Her voice was firm, but there was a look of resignation in her eyes; a look that thankfully neither of her human companions could see.

"Radio Joker and tell him meet us at the bomb site."

_She had made her choice…_

"Yes, Commander, I…" He sounded as torn up as she felt.

"_You know it's the right choice, LT." _Ashley sounded relieved, and that was when, in her heart of hearts Nora felt that she had made the right choice, no matter how painful it was going to be.

"I'm sorry Ash…" This conversation was private now that Kaiden had switched frequency, "I…"

It was nearly impossible to explain to the other woman all the feelings that she felt, having to leave her behind. And so she offered the most sincere words she could muster.

"Thank you – for everything."

_I understand Commander-Skipper,_ there was a smile in Ashleys' voice as she used the familiar nickname,_ I don't regret a thing. _Her voice was soft but sincere as it came across the comm, and then she was gone, lost to her commander forever.

Nora could only hope she could live with the consequences.

"Let's go." Shepard barked sharply, her voice a mixture of pain and resilience. And then she too was gone, sprinting across the open catwalk to reach the elevator, "We can still save Kaiden."

The Geth reinforcements that met the three members of the Normandy ground team were not significantly tougher than those they had fought through before. It took mere moments to cut through them and clear the building to get to Kaiden.

But no sooner had they done so that they were under fire once more, this time forced to fight in the grit and muck that came from the buildings' sewer system. A quick glance at Kaiden in a moment of quiet alerted the human commander that he was wounded, not seriously, but injured all the same.

Grimacing as she ducked past a biotic attack, Commander Shepard managed to make it to Kaidens' side just long enough to press a medigel into his hand before surging forwards once again. The few remaining Geth troopers fell with little resistance; Wrex and Garrus clearing the area, their commander finishing their shots.

But no sooner had the common Geth troopers disappeared that the area before them roared to life glowing blue with power of biotics.

Unprepared for the blasts of sparkling blue all members of the Normandy sought cover. But it quickly became apparent that the attack was far from random, and the glowing blue quickly moved to converge on Commander Shepards' form. It was only in a last attempt dodge that Nora cleared all the blasts by throwing herself behind a large plasteel crate. The force of impact was enough to make her wince, she had jarred her hip, but it had kept her safe nonetheless.

Finally crouched behind cover, the human commander had the time she needed to figure out what was going on, and nearly growled when she did.

_"Saren."_

Drawing her pistol, Commander Shepard leveled the gun with the Turians' chest and fired four shots in quick succession. The attack did nothing to damage the ex-Spectre but did stop him as he looked around to find her, upon which the he merely smiled. Such a cold, cruel smile.

"I applaud you Sheppard." Sarens' attention was fixed solidly on the scowling woman, "My Geth were utterly convinced that the Salarians were the real threat. An impressive diversion…"

He gave her an appraising look before continuing.

"Of course it was all for nothing," Saren shrugged as if to make his point that much more clear.

"I can't let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake."

He was treating her as if she were an ignorant child; she resented _that_ more than anything.

"Why are you doing this?" She demanded of him, her hand still clasped tightly on the weapon at her side.

"You've seen the vision from the beacon Shepard. You, of all people, should understand what the Reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped - Do not mire yourself in pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of _petty_ freedoms. The Protheans tried to fight, and they were utterly destroyed. _Trillions_ dead. But what if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"

From the corner of her eye Nora could see Kaiden as he reached for and finally picked up the pistol he had dropped in the previous fight.

"Do you really think the Reapers will let us live?" Her question was marred with skepticism, her eyes narrowing in disbelief.

_Certainly this ex-spectre could not be that naive. _

"Now you see why I never came forward with this to the Council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We will fight even when we know we cannot win. But if we work with the 

Reaper, if we make ourselves useful…think about how many lives could be spared…Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign, though I was aware of the…dangers. I had hoped this facility could protect me.

"You're afraid Sovereign is influencing you. You're afraid he's controlling your thoughts." There was a moment of absolute clarity between the woman and Turian, as if for once she could understand everything he was hiding.

Saren hesitate for a moment at the startling accuracy with which the human woman guessed his feelings.

"I've studied the effects of indoctrination." He admitted, "The more control Sovereign exerts the less capable the subject becomes. _That_ is my saving grace."

"Sovereign _needs_ me to find the conduit. My mind is still my own… for now."

Nora stared on in surprise; perhaps Saren was more insightful to his situation than she had thought. However, in his next comment she withdrew the idea entirely.

"But the transformation from ally to servant can be subtle. I will not let it happen to me."

He was as foolish as any other.

"Tell me why Sovereign needs the conduit. Tell me what it is. Maybe we can find a way to stop them."

"There is no '_we'." _Saren snarled as he whirled around to face her once more, "The conduit is the key to your destruction and my salvation. Sovereign needs my help to find it. That is the only reason why I have not been indoctrinated."

"Sovereign's manipulating you and you don't even know it!" With every word the commander could feel her temper climb, "You're already under its power!

"No!" The words were a fervent denial, "Sovereign _needs_ me. If I find the Conduit I've been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. This is my only hope."

Outraged, the human woman stood up suddenly, ignoring the pain in her hip as she turned to level her weapon at him once more.

"You were a _Spectre_. You were sworn to protect the galaxy. Then you broke that vow to save _yourself_!"

Her words did not hide the disgust she held for him.

"I'm not doing this for myself," Saren snapped as he glanced at the human man half hidden by the bomb, "Don't you see? Sovereign will succeed. It is inevitable. My way is the only way _any_ of us will survive. I am forging an alliance between us and the Reapers: Between organics and machines. In doing so I will save more lives than have ever existed."

Turning back to look at the woman standing so firmly before him he raised one clawed hand to point at her.

"_You_ would undo my work. You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation. And for that you must die."

He attacked then; with biotic powers strengthened through years of use, dissolving her cover in a matter of seconds. Both Wrex and Garrus were thrown into the air, stopping only when they collided with the side of the building, their bodies silent as they landed in the dirty water bellow.

Forced to lunge from her previous position, Commander Shepard took one step towards the traitorous ex-Spectre before firing once more, firing until the gun ran out of bullets.

Swearing, the human commander reached for her shotgun only to slam into the ground as cannon fire exploded the space next to her. The world swam before her eyes.

Wincing at the ringing in her ears, Nora struggled to get up, one hand pressed to the side of her helmet as if to stave off any more pain while the grimace on her lips was attributed to the numbing pain of her hip. She could taste blood on her lips.

However, it was in that moment when she finally stood up that a strong hand encircled her neck and closed hard. Gasping at the sudden lack of oxygen, Nora fought as she felt herself dragged through 

the water, feet thrashing as she tried to get a foothold in the slick sewer floors. Unable to find what she was looking for, the woman suddenly found herself suspended in the air her neck being slowly crushed by small degrees.

Around her the world was growing dark; first the edges before the blurriness consumed more and more.

_Was this how she was going to die?_

She continued to struggle against the vice-like grip on her throat, her hands clawing as she struggled to ease the pressure. But Saren remained fixated on her, his eyes cold as he watched her desperately seek an escape.

It was not until a shot glanced off his armor that his attention turned suddenly to the human man standing before the large bomb, his mouth set in a grim expression.

_Kaiden…_

Forgoing biotics, Saren drew his firearm with all the grace of a panther.

_No…not Kaiden…_

Taking aim at the already wounded man took all the time of a second, and a quick glance from Kaiden to Saren showed the commander that his expression was one of irritation.

_No! I won't let you!_

Making a furious sound from the back of her throat, Commander Shepard managed to draw the ex-Spectres' attention in the moment that she delivered an adrenaline strengthened right hook.

However, her timing was just a moment too late, and as Saren's head snapped to the side, his grip on Nora gone, his other hand reflexively tightened on the rigger. The ensuing blast of gunfire caught the Lieutenant across the chest leaving the man to stare out in surprise before crumpling onto her knees.

"NO!"

Commander Shepard's voice was thick with terror and denial.

_This was not happening…_

Wheeling around to look for Saren, her eyes narrowed and mouth set in a terrible snarl, the commander located him as he stepped onto his hover board. Vowing never to hesitate again, she pulled her shotgun from her back clasp and cast a powerful biotic Warp. Knowing that Saren would be forced to dodge the Warp, Shepard leveled her shot gun and managed to fire off three shots. The first went wide, but the other two hit their mark tearing into the Turians shoulder as he completed his turn and began accelerating away from the bomb site.

It was only the sudden warning beeping from the bomb and the worry she had for her downed Lieutenant that kept the human commander from attempting another attack.

Moving swiftly from where she was standing, Shepard had barely holstered her gun by the time she reached her Lieutenants' side. He was still alive, for the moment.

"Please…oh my god, Kaiden…"

His wounds were serious, the blood that was soaking his armor a testament to just how dire his situation was. Several of the bullets had been deflected thanks to the particular armor type he had on, but not all. Kaiden's choice of light type armor had made him more vulnerable than most to direct attack. Paired with the fact that he had not had time to construct a biotic shield to block the extra damage made the situation all the grimmer.

She had to do something, quick.

Allowing only a moment to take quick breath, so as to fortify and calm her frantic self, the human commander quickly got to work. She may not be a doctor, but she still had to try.

Reaching into her pack Nora sought for a medpack and found only two. It would do next to nothing with the seriousness of his wounds, but it was better than nothing.

Touching the communications head piece at her ear she radioed her pilot.



"Joker! I need you down here now!"

Her voice was a harsh, grating command.

_I'm already on my way down…I should be there in about 10._

"Make it fast Joker; we've got a situation down here." Tense, her face a mask of carefully controlled emotion, she seemed to fracture with each passing second.

"Commander…" Kaidens' words were barely more than a pained whisper.

_Commander…was she truly acting that way right now? Was she acting like the leader of brave men?_

_She was trying…_

"Yes Lieutenant?" Her words were soft as she peered down into his face.

"I'm in pretty bad shape aren't I?"

Pale purple-blue eyes found themselves suddenly moist.

"Kind of." Her voice was rough with emotion, "You've certainly looked better."

"Yeah? And here I was thinking you never paid attention to me."

A pained smile then, on both their faces.

"Ha-ha…" Nora's laugh sounded hollow, "Well it wouldn't be the first time you were wrong."

Kaiden fell into silence for a moment as he stared up into his commanders pale face, the tight draw on her mouth and pain in her eyes.

"You _do_ know this," Kaiden gestured vaguely to his bloodied torso, "is not your fault right, Commander?"

_Of course she didn't, but she couldn't find the words to tell him so._

Instead Nora leaned closer to his face, her brow creased in worry, "You're going to have to explain it to me when we get you into the Normandy, Alenko."

The biotic laughed weakly and then cringed in pain.

"I know you don't want me to say this Commander, but for what it's worth – I've always thought that you were an amazing leader and…"

"Shh…" Nora felt tears gather at the edge of her eyes but she tried to smile anyway, "We'll have time for compliments later – please just hold on."

"There won't be a later Commander." He smiled kindly, "But I wanted you to know how much I care about you, and that I always will…"

His words trailed off then, and despite her rank Nora found herself unable to come to grips with what was happening.

"Yes there will!" She said fiercely, pale purple eyes dark with denial, "Do you hear me Alenko? We're not done yet!"

Her words did nothing to the now still man in her hands.

"Kaiden?!" She could hear her voice getting increasingly more pinched as she clutched him tighter to her and tried to staunch the bleeding from his chest. Joker was less than a second away; the Normandy was already setting down as she called his name.

"Commander..." Spoken by another voice, familiar, but unidentifiable in this moment of devastation.

"Stay with me – do you hear me Alenko?!" Nora was cradling the man in her arms, "I'm ordering you to stay here Lieutenant."

"Commander…" A gentle hand came to rest on her trembling shoulder.

"Alenko – don't think for a moment that I'll just let you tell me those words and…"

"Commander, you have to let him go, so that when Dr Chakwas gets here she can run emergency protocols…if you don't I believe that Lieutenant Alenko ..." the words were lost as the heavy metal ramp of the Normandy slammed to the ground.



It was then that Nora stilled her cradling to gently allow the man rest on the ground. And then she slowly got to her feet walking a little ways away from the two surviving crew members, her face shielded from view as she allowed the doctor and the Asari researcher take the body.

When she at last came to a stop it seemed as if the weight of _years_ had pressed itself down on her, as if she had aged tremendously in those few steps.

Staring at his commander in quiet remorse Garrus could see the tightness of stress in her shoulders and the helpless cast of her hands into fists, her hands red with the Lieutenants blood.

But for all of his wishing to be near her he dared not. For he knew that to comfort her now was to stop her from being the woman she had been on all missions before this. To stop her now would be to prevent her from becoming stronger as had always become. And so, for her, he endured the look of defeat in her eyes as she climbed up the steps of the Normandy and the silence with which she watched the explosion on Virmire.

Beep…

Beep…Beep…

The soft noise of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room, echoing metallically in the small medical facility. And while the room itself was far from empty, neither the person on the bed nor the heavily bandaged Commander standing by the wall gave any thought to make any additional sound. Instead, the human commander just looked at the still face of her Lieutenant, the man who she could only think of as her brother, and felt her mouth tremble with suppressed emotion. At her sides, her hands had long since clenched into fists and the set of her shoulders suggested a tension that perhaps the woman herself did not recognize.

_Kaiden…_

His face was peaceful now, the lines of pain gone from around his eyes. The hands that had clutched at her down on Virmire now lay relaxed on his chest.

_It hurt to see how still he had become._

Behind her the automatic doors opened, sliding with a familiar hiss. But the noise did nothing to spurn the human commander into action, and so she remained unmoving, eyes still focused on her Lieutenant.

"Commander."

A gentle, feminine hand rested on her shoulder, drawing a slight tremor from the stoic woman as she finally turned her strange purple-blue eyes away from the body on the bed.

"Dr. Chakwas." Her voice was even, controlled but light.

Had the older woman not spent so many weeks with her commanding officer she would have been fooled. Her Commander was unusually skilled in deception. Still, it took a good several moments before the good doctor could find the words that the other woman needed to hear.

"He's not dead, Commander," The white haired doctor spoke softly, "you _did_ save him."

Nora allowed herself a quick glance at Kaiden before replying.

"He may be alive, doctor, but he's in a coma, something that even our advance medicine can't reverse overnight. And with any complications from his implant…"

Moving around the other woman Commander Shepard was nearly out the door before the doctor could interject.

"But Commander it - "



"To me, doctor," Nora smiled bitterly, "It's as good as if I had let him _die_ on that planet."

"Commander."

Sitting in one of the many chairs of the Normandy's meeting room Nora looked around the large room and felt a wave of despair wash through her. The room felt so much emptier without the company of the two Alliance soldiers.

"Commander?"

The human woman looked up suddenly and caught Liara's serious expression. Despite the hours the young researcher had put in to help the Lieutenant she had still insisted on attending this meeting.

"Excuse me for interrupting, but…" Liara hesitated, "this pertains to the beacon you found on Virmire. I believe it to be similar to the one on Eden Prime. It may have filled missing pieces to your vision. I might be able to put all those pieces together."

"You want to meld our minds again, don't you?" Despite her exhaustion, both mental and physical, Shepard slowly pushed herself out of her chair and managed to walk carefully to the center of the room, her hand straying to her hip for just a moment as she straightened her back.

"Okay. Go ahead."

"Relax Commander." Liara crossed the room with sure, easy strides and gently placed her hands on the bandaged temples of her commander's head. "And embrace eternity!"

A million images flashed before their eyes in a matter of seconds, searing their eyes as it filled their minds. And then, it was over, the dark grey of the meeting room slowly filtering back into focus.

"Incredible." Liara breathed the word as reverently as if it were a prayer, "I…I never thought the images would be so…intense. I need a moment to collect myself."

"Did the vision make any sense to you?" the human commander asked softly, her eyes still adjusting to the space around her.

"It's a distress call, a message sent across the Prothean Empire. A warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late."

_Would history repeat itself?_

"What does it say about the Conduit?" Nora pressed her Asari crewmember.

"There were other locations. Places I recognized in my research…Illos! The Conduit is on Illos! That's why Saren needed to find the Mu Relay! It is the only way to get to Illos."

Nora simply nodded, too tired to ask why. She trusted Liara enough to believe the researcher when she came to such an absolute conclusion.

"We'll need to get to Illos then."

Across the room Tali spoke up for the first time, "Forget it. The Mu Relay's inside the Terminus systems. Alliance ships are not welcome there. Neither are Spectres."

"The Conduit is on Illos." Nora spoke slowly as her brain worked through several different plans of action, "That's where Saren is heading… I'll be waiting for him when he gets there."

_That_ was the only thing that mattered anymore.

"Saren will have his entire fleet orbiting Illos; you will never make it to the surface without reinforcements." Talis' concern was echoed by Liara's spirited words, "You must alert the Citadel. We need a fleet…"

The Asari woman swayed suddenly, her hand immediately moving up to touch her forehead.

"I am sorry. The joining is…exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment. I just need some place quiet."

Her commander nodded, her mind was racing once again.



"We're done here. Dismissed."

"_Commander,"_ the crackle of the Normandys' intercommunications drew Noras' attention to Jokers' voice_, "there's a Comm buoy nearby. I can link us in if you want to report to the Citadel Council. You know, to warn them about Sovereign."_

Wanting desperately to simply slip away into her room, the female Spectre just sighed in understanding before answering.

"Set up the link Joker. They need to know."

"_Patching it through."_

Nora stepped quietly into her quarters, her face an impassive mask.

_The Citadel Council still did not believe her…but they were willing to help raise a joint fleet along with the Alliance. _

Eyes flickering to the Turian who stood quietly in her room, Nora took a moment to unzip her tight Alliance-issue shirt to exchange it with a loose fitting civilian top. The difference made the woman sigh in appreciation, maybe now her body would stop aching so much.

"Nora."

His voice was a soothing balm. His touch the only kindness she would allow herself.

_She would have the Normandy at the front of that attack fleet; she refused to have it any other way._

Slipping into the familiar comfort of his embrace for just a moment, she savored the warm contact before pulling away.

_For Ashley…_

Looking up into his eyes, she half expected to see him look hurt; feared the moment when his brilliant blue would cloud over in pain.

…_and for Kaiden…_

However, when she looked up at him and saw that same, unchanging, blue she realized that once again how well he knew her.

And then there was no more reason to look strong, to pretend that losing Kaiden and Ashley on Virmire had been anything less than her fault. So the tears came, the silent tears that never seemed to stop. The agony of her choice filled her to overflowing and never before had she known the pain she did in that moment.

She needed to find her strength; once again she would have to find what it was that had led her crew and all those aboard the Normandy to success on Feros and Noveria. Because she would _never_ allow what had happened on Virmire to happen again. She had grown from the pain of Akuze and the aching void that had been her childhood; she would grow from this experience too, she had to, it was all she knew how to do.

Because even if _they_ forgave her, she _never_ would.

She had chosen far too late, and because of her…because of _her_ they were both dead.

_Never again…_

_AN: Hope you enjoyed!! Review if you so desire (even if it's just a simple comment). Thanks again for reading!!_


	10. Chapter 10: Scars that Fade

AN: Ok, so once again I have to apologize for taking FOREVER in posting this. It's been sitting on my desktop for nearly a month now (over a month), but I just couldn't figure out if I really liked what I did with the situations in the game. I did end up elaborating a lot more on some of the smaller details, and I'm not sure if I strayed too much from our much beloved game. As such, for this chapter especially, I ask that you please _please_ tell me if it doesn't fit ok with the rest of the story - I've been thinking about reworking it, but am not quite sure if this is ok or not.

In any case, I hope this chapter makes for an interesting read anyway. I love reading your comments (constructive or otherwise) so please write a little something, even if it's just a 'nice chapter' or 'was alright' - though again, any helpful comments are much appreciated.

Thanks again for your continued reading, you have my deepest gratitude.

Voi

* * *

No matter how many times she stood in the vast chambers of the Citadel Council there was always a deep feeling of awe. Perhaps it was the unusual flora that had been so tastefully arranged around the large room, or the vaulted ceilings that reminded her of the ruined temples back on earth. But then again, it could be the breathtaking view of space that made the dark vastness so much more spectacular.

Commander Shepard took a moment to savor it before turning her attention to the human ambassador standing on the dais before her. Unlike the last time she had seen him; his face was now one of enthusiasm and encouragement. Such a look made Nora distinctly uncomfortable.

"Good job, Shepard. Thanks to you, the Council is finally taking real action against Saren!"

His rigorous nod of acceptance could only be answered by a weak smile; the man was so two-faced one could never assume he was an ally.

"The Ambassador is correct." The Asari Councilmember's' voice carried from across the open space between the two platforms, "If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel – as you believe – we will be ready for him."

Nora could only nod in silent expectation of the rest of the Council's plans.

"Patrols are stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel space to the Terminus systems."

There was a sudden, lingering silence as the Turian Councilmen finished.

_Nothing…_

_Was there nothing else being done? _

Nora was taken aback, surely this was not all.

"You think a blockade is going to stop him?" Nora's voice was a mix of surprise and outrage. The Council should not be so simple minded!

"He's on Illos looking for the Conduit right now! What are you doing about that?"

"Illos is only accessible through the Mu Relay deep in the Terminus systems, Commander." It was the Salarian who spoke this time, his voice impartial as he spoke to her, "If we sent a fleet there the only possible outcome would be full-scale war."

"But-"

Ambassador Udina interrupted before she could say anymore, his voice drowning out her own.

"Now is the time for discretion, Commander. Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed, he is no longer a threat." He shrugged at her incredulous expression, "This is over."

_But you don't understand!_

Nora could feel her anger bubble up from within her. The thin mask of control she had managed to fasten on before arriving was slipping fast.

She _would_ avenge Ashley and Kaiden and she was not going to just sit by while the Reapers drew closer and closer. However, being callous about the situation was not going to put her in any better a position.

"One ship going to the Terminus Systems is not going to start a war," Commander Shepard tried to appeal to the Council; "I can be discreet."

She was immediately rebuffed.

"You detonated a nuclear device on Virmire," the Turian Councilmember interjected, "I wouldn't call that discrete!"

"Your style served you well in the Traverse, Commander. We recognize that." Again, the Asari Councilwoman's voice filled the room, deceptive in its softness, "But, Illos requires a delicate touch. We have the situation under control.

Nora shot the ambassador a look that would have peeled the flesh from his bones, "If Saren finds the Conduit we're all screwed!"

Her purple-blue eyes focused on the Council she repeated her proposition, "We have to go to Illos!"

"Ambassador Udina, I get the feeling that Commander Shepard isn't willing to let this go."

The human commander felt herself scowl at the Turian Councilman despite her best attempt to be polite; there was only so much a soldier was willing to take.

"There are serious political implications here, Shepard. Humanity's made great gains thanks to you." The wrinkled ambassador paused to look at the Council before turning sharply back at her, his face one of distain, "But now you're becoming more trouble than you're worth."

_The bastard was selling her out! _The words roared through her head the moment the older man had finished speaking.

Feeling her hands clench into fists Commander Shepard had to grit her teeth against the desire to deck the disgusting worm. It was only years of dealing with such politics that she managed the control to let the ambassador to step past her unharmed.

"It's just politics Commander," The tone with which Udina spoke suggested that he talking to an insolent child instead of a seasoned military officer. Though, thinking back to their previous discussions the commander supposed that that was indeed how he thought of her.

_Lousy worm…_

"You've done your job, now let me do mine. We've locked out all the Normandy's primary systems. Until further notice, you're grounded."

_What?!_

"Are you insane?" Nora could feel herself choke on the words in her fury, "After everything I've done. You still don't believe me?!"

The Ambassador ignored her outburst with all the talent Nora had come to expect from him. "I think it's time you and your team leave, Commander. This no longer concerns you. The Council can handle this, _with my help, of course_."

Feeling more upset than not, the human woman could only nod bitterly before turning on her heel and storming out of the Citadel Tower, duty requiring that she say no more.

She had to go back to the Normandy before she did something she would regret.

"_Damn."_

Muttering quietly to herself, Commander Shepard sat back on her heels and allowed her back to rest against the lockers near the dining hall. Several hours had passed since the meeting with the Council, hours she had spent alternating between watching Kaiden and sitting where she was now, thinking.

What was she supposed to do without the Normandy? What _could_ she do?

Kaiden had been scheduled to go to the Medical Ward on the Citadel about an hour after Nora had returned from the meeting but had ended up being delayed. It seemed most fortuitous then that feeling upset and tense, his commander had gone to the small medical room so as to calm herself, trading anger for insight as she kept vigil by his bed. It had hurt in the beginning. No matter how many times she looked at the calm face of her Lieutenant the silence with which he slept seemed like a constant stab in the heart, a reminder of her failure.

The one she vowed would be her _last_.

And yet, as the hours had drifted by she had drawn comfort from him, from the memories of him.

Flashback:

"_Hey, Kaiden?"_

_It had happened before she became his superior officer, years ago when they had just been transferred to the Normandy, and met for the first time during shore leave. _

"_Yeah?" The man sitting next to her looked at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the large sculpture that towered over the rest of the Presidium. _

"_The headaches you have, are they because of the implant you're wearing?" The question was quiet but powerful, a duality that was mirrored in her character._

"_Headaches?" His voice was surprised, despite the calm tenor, "Yeah, I get the headaches because of my L2. But how did you know? Dr. Chakwas doesn't disclose personal medical information and…"_

"_A biotic learns to recognize others that are similar," She replied softly as she turned from the sculpture to look at her fellow crewmate, "especially when you're used to be around them."_

_She shrugged carelessly and bent over to rest her elbows on her knees, her eyes focusing outward once again, "For example, in the Presidium right now there are, not including the Asari who work here, five biotic capable people. Two Krogan, you, me and…wow, that's rare…a Turian."_

_The comment made the man shake his head, he knew biotic users sometimes acted strangely because of element zero but she was by far the strangest._

"_I may believe that you can identify other biotics, but what makes you capable of determining what species a particular biotic is? I've met some really talented biotics before, but none have been able to do something like what you just did."_

_A soft sigh of exasperation fell from the woman's' lips then, "It's not all that special you know, you can do it too. It's just part of the whole 'biotic' package."_

_Kaiden shook his head again, "I don't think so. I've been around biotic users all my life and I've never been able to-"_

"_Have you ever tried?" The biotic woman sounded annoyed, and a quick glance at her unusual blue-purple eyes revealed her as such._

"_W-well no…but…"_

"_Just try." She ordered. And then her hand was around his, pulling him up and out of his seat until he was standing next to her, by the railing. _

"_Now…open your mind," she told him firmly, "and let your biotics sort of 'seep' out of you – like you're sending out roots. You'll feel the other biotics as sort of magnetic pulses – they'll try to push you away, but if you can get close enough you can probably identify them."_

"_Yes but how do you…oh."_

_He felt it then, a soft wavelike feeling washed over him as five separate but distinct feelings pushed against him, pushed him away. Every time he tried to get close, there was always the feeling of losing ground, and it took a long while before he finally managed to get the right distance away. _

_**Krogan, Krogan, Turian…**_

_Reaching out to the final biotic user, the one standing next to him, Kaiden suddenly found himself by a particularly strong field of repulsion. He may have been hardheaded enough to gather the information about the three alien biotics, but already feeling tired, he had little hope of collecting the particular biotic identity of his teammate. _

_Pulling what was left of his biotic 'roots' Kaiden paused a moment to collect himself before speaking._

"_It's kind of like swimming upstream" Kaiden's voice held pleasant surprise._

"_Hmm?" Nora looked at the man in confusion this time, not understanding what he was talking about, "What do you mean?"_

_"This power – it's like swimming in a river and having to swim in the direction counter to the flow so that you can see everything. It's more difficult to swim up faster moving currents – people with stronger biotics, like you. But it is possible to gather the information just the same. Like standing with your face in the wind so you can smell what's on the wind. It's like…"_

_The sound of laughing filled his ears, a melodic laugh that made him turn and grin back at her. It was the first time he had ever heard anything so lighthearted come from such an otherwise silent woman._

_"What's so funny Shepard? Don't like my attempts at poetry?"_

_His crewmate fought for control over her laughter for several minutes before she managed to collect herself for just a brief moment._

_"N-no…it's…hahaha…just that…giggle…you reminded me so much of my little __**sister**__ that…" she broke off in another sudden fit of laughs._

_"Your __**sister**__?!" Kaiden wasn't sure whether to be insulted or amused._

"_Ah well…" He cast her a rueful look as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm prettier right?"_

_His question was met with another fit of laughter._

End Flashback:

There was a sudden sharp pinch of pain through her system, searing down her side and settling in her hip, Nora gasped as her vision swam. Gritting her teeth against the renewed ache in her hips and back, Nora eased herself to the floor and ever so carefully propped herself up against lockers. It lasted no more than a few seconds, but by the end the Commander was sure she was going to need a medigel to deal with the pain, if she could ever get herself off the floor.

"Commander?"

The ever familiar voice made her smile before she even looked up.

"Hello Garrus," her tone was light despite the pain.

"You need some medical help?" There was a knowing lilt to the question, "I'll be back in a minute."

And then he was gone, disappearing into the medical ward, only to appear a scant few seconds later.

"I thought it was going to take a minute?" Nora teased as she watched him step closer, a medigel pack in his grip.

"They were not as hard to find as I had initially thought, "Garrus admitted eyes cast downwards in what Nora recognized as Turian embarrassment.

His human commander could only smile, "Somehow I didn't think they would be tough to find for someone like you. Now, if you'd like, I can take those from you so I can fix my back."

There was a moment of hesitation before her Turian explained that he had another plan in mind.

"Nora," Garrus extended a hand to the woman, allowing her the time to move slowly so as to not worsen the aching of her body.

However, the moment her hand dropped gently into his own, the Turian gave a quick, unexpected tug, his strength managing to pull the woman from her kneeling position and into his arms. It was at that same moment that his other hand pulled up the back of the woman's shirt and smeared the thick healing salve on her back, working at such a speed that Nora felt only the dullest of aches as she finally touched his chest. Or should have. Instead there was a jolt of electricity through her system and the sudden blooming of heat in her chest. It wasn't painful, of that she was sure, but there was a sudden physical awareness of how close the two of them were, and a heightened feeling of pleasure at the Turian's hand still clasped gently to her hip.

"Better?" He asked quietly, his head tilted downwards so that his breath brushed past her ear, one finger coming up to brush against the now fading scar she had received on Ontarom.

Feeling slightly flustered Nora could only find it in herself to nod silently before turning her cheek to press more fully against his palm.

"Yeah…"

Garrus felt a bubble of pleasure at the soft way she responded to him. It was one thing to know how strong the commander could be in a mission, it was another to be allowed to see a side as vulnerable as this.

Drawing her closer to his armored chest Garrus felt a rumble of contentment well deep in his chest as her soft human form molded perfectly to meet his own. It sent a wave of desire, quite unlike anything he had ever experienced before. And before he was quite aware of what he was doing, he had backed up until she was draped quite comfortably over him, her mouth just inches from his own. Inches that slowly grew less and less…until…

_"Sorry to interrupt Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson."_

Starting in surprise, Nora pulled back suddenly, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of red.

"Are you spying on us Joker?"

The voice over the intercom was one of amusement, _"No ma'am. Just knew you were on the ship and figured I'd pass the message on – The captain said to meet him at Flux, that club in the Upper Wards."_

"Alright," the human woman felt another blush crawl across her face as she looked at Garrus now leaning casually against his locker, his blue eyes smoldering, "I'll get going. Thanks Joker."

"_No problem ma'am."_

And then, with a final wistful sigh at her Turian companion, she allowed herself a careful stretch of her side and examination of her hip before she gently pushed out of his grip. Grabbing his larger hand with her own she gave it a gentle tug as she shot him a soft smile.

"Let's go… I could use drink."

Commander Nora Shepard walked through the dimly lit halls of the lower wards and wondered if she should have taken the rapid transit instead of walking. There was a certain comfort in walking familiar paths and being correct in one's own memories; but perhaps taking this long was more than just menial reassurance? Maybe what she was really trying to do was avoid the situation with Captain Anderson, or at least delay it as long as possible.

_Was she really that much of a coward?_

She wasn't sure she wanted to answer that question just yet.

Moving into one of the more brightly lit stairwells of the Wards, Nora climbed up to appear next to the small merchant quarter, just outside of Chora's Den.

Perhaps a small shopping excursion for more medigel was in order?

Moving forward so as to talk with her now familiar and favorite merchant the human commander bought enough medigel to restock the Normandy and then asked them to be delivered to the ship within the next several hours. Granted, there was no immediate rush, but Nora had a feeling that her meeting with Captain Anderson would change that time table soon enough.

However, it would seem her arrival at Flux would be delayed; no sooner has she turned away from the counter that a man, shrouded in the shadow of a hallway, called out to her, his voice suggesting a familiarity she couldn't quite recollect.

"Well, well…" His deep voice was gruff but light in its tone, "They told me it was you, but I didn't believe them…little 'Shepard' grew up and turned into a soldier."

Feeling more than a little confused, the human Spectre drew closer, her pale blue-purple eyes looking into his searchingly.

"Who are you?" There was more than a little suspicion in her voice as she took in his dark clothes and scarred face; it raised more than just a hint of suspicion.

"Name's Finch. You probably don't remember me, but we ran together in the 5th Street Reds. Maybe you don't remember it yourself, running in a gang… None of the vids mention it when they're talking about you."

Nora could have scoffed at the information, like she really needed vids to remind her of her childhood.

_Her, not remember running in a gang? _

She doubted she would ever forget. She had grown up around gangs, their rough and tumble members being the only parents she had ever had, ever needed. Granted, some gangs were tougher than others, but she couldn't remember the specifics of each one anymore. Eleven years of military service blended just as seamlessly into a rough upbringing as anything else would stand out. Still, it was no surprise that none of the vids had mentioned her childhood, personal privacy was all the rage here on the Citadel.

"What can I do for you?" She wanted to hear him out despite his questionable background; she owed him that at least.

"One of the Reds, Kurt Wiseman got picked up by Turians. We'd like you to talk to the Turian guard at the bar and get Kurt out."

_'Picked up by Turians?'_

"What was he arrested for?" Nora questioned, taking a moment to glance at Garrus. Turians were generally strict on protocol, there was no '_picking up'_ when it came to Turian police unless it was something serious.

Finch seemed to think otherwise.

"Some stupid minor offense…maybe he had a little Red Sand. You know how the Turians are; they declared him a problem and are shipping him back for a trial."

_Red Sand?_ Well that explained a lot. Red Sand, a biotic stimulant that could temporarily boost the powers of biotics, or imbue non-biotics with temporary telekinetic abilities, was all but outlawed in Citadel space.

Something was definitely wrong here. These were not the earth gangs she had run with as a child, the void of space had always taken a back seat to the the battle over metropolitan turf.

_What were they doing all the way out here?_

"What was one of the 5th Street Reds going in Turian Space?"

The human male shrugged as if the question was of little importance, "Since your days the Reds have expanded. We do some salvage…some little shipping here and there…"

He was sounding increasingly less and less sincere, and Nora knew then that this had nothing to do with the gang and _everything_ to do with the fact that they had found out she was a Spectre.

"You're not asking me to break Wiseman out of jail are you?" Her tone was skeptical as she took one step away from him and pulled one of her hands away to rest on her shotgun.

"Of course not!" Finch raised his hands in a placating gesture, his head shaking wildly as he denied her question, "But word has it that you have some pull with the aliens - all we're asking is that you do a little pulling for us."

She almost throttled him; he was just the same as that slimy Ambassador Udina. And yet, knowing now what she knew, there was no way she could not alert the Turian authorities of a potential break out.

"Alright." Drawing on her ability to deceive, Nora gave the man a charming smile and took a step closer, bringing them within touching distance, "I'll talk to the Turian guard…see what I can do. Ok?"

The distasteful man just grinned at her and gave her hand a brief shake; his hand heavily calloused from holding a weapon. Perhaps he was more dangerous than he looked.

"Thanks Shepard. I knew you'd remember your old _friends_ – the guard's over at Chora's Den. Take care of this and you'll never see me again...well…maybe"

And then he laughed a dark laugh that seemed to be familiar but so terrifying at the same time that when the memory failed to surface Nora was that much more relieved. She knew she would see him again; she only hoped it would be later rather than sooner.

Arriving at Chora's Den for only the second time since this mission against Saren had started Nora noted with amusement the number of Asari dancers in the bar. It was like being back on Earth…except Chora's Den was cleaner and she doubted she would know any of the Asari that were dancing so provocatively up on the main stage; they certainly knew how to put on a show.

A quick glance at both Wrex and Garrus revealed both to be eying the Asari, though Garrus with considerable more innocent curiosity than his fellow alien. Nora wasn't sure whether to be jealous or amused – her Turian really was one of a kind.

Still, the mission called, and so turning back to view the expansive club, Nora allowed her eyes to linger, taking in each figure before settling on the sole Turian standing rigidly out of place. Dressed in heavy armor as opposed to the casual clothes usually permitted in the Citadel, it was apparent that this Turian had come from one of the better guarded holding cells aboard the Citadel. And unlike the others in the bar who were content to look down into their partially filled glasses, this one did not hesitate to stare directly at her as she approached, instead addressing her once she was in earshot.

"Can I help you?"

"A human named Finch wanted me to use my authority as a Spectre to free Kurt Wiseman." She reported to the Turian guard her eyes flickering to the door of the bar before back again. Her gut instinct was telling her that Finch was close by, but so far he had not appeared.

"The xenophobe?" The Turian guard looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing, "I should have known he would have friends. Thank you for the information, we'll increase the guard on his cell."

It was then, with the perfection expected from a popular drama-vid, that Finch appeared. Lips twisted in a scowl, and hands clenched into large fists, the human man snarled as he came closer to the Spectre woman.

"I _knew_ you'd rat us out Shepard. Now it's payback time. When we're through telling out story all the aliens will know what the first human Spectre really is."

Nora felt her eyebrows crease in confusion; surely this was not the worst. She had expected something more, deep down she had _known_ he was capable of more.

"My bio is on public record, Finch. Everyone knows I ran with gangs as a kid."

"They don't know that the Reds target aliens specifically." Finch smirked as he took a menacing step closer, "We've got the backers to handle off world missions. Your alien friends won't like you so much when they hear what your gang did."

"The 5th Street gang was a gang, not an Earth First movement. We didn't go after…"

"We're a _human_ movement now. You think the vids will make that distinction? I can find a dozen Reds who will say they saw you kill aliens for fun! Who's going to believe you then?"

Nora felt a sudden rush of anger course through her but was stopped short when the man suddenly pulled her forward, his hand clamped around her forearm.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Nora made a move to smack him but stopped as he pulled her closer still, until they were chest and chest. From the corner of her eye she saw both Garrus and Wrex react, weapon drawn in a flash of a second, but stop when she commanded them to. She had to figure this guy out, without the use of force.

"Don't tell me you don't remember…" his voice was as soft as Garrus' had been on the Normandy, but had none of the affection, none of the tender adoration. Instead, it was a cold mocking that chilled her.

"Aww…I'm hurt," The grip on her arm tightened enough to bruise, "Come on sweetheart…"

Nora felt a sudden hand on her own, and the sliding of material as the gloves of her suit were removed.

"You didn't think that those pretty scars around your pretty little wrists were for decoration did you…"

Feeling partially numb, Nora could only barely comply with his silent order to look. It had been far too long since someone had spoken to her like that, and to use 'pretty little wrists' for a woman of her age and occupation was ridiculous. But there was something in Finchs' voice that struck a chord, just like his laugh; there was something uncomfortably familiar about him, something that terrified her.

"How exactly do I know you, Finch?" Nora's voice shook just the smallest amount as her eyes finally took in the sight of her wrists.

Faded with time, and barely more than white whispers on the tanned skin she had acquired on countless missions, the marks that Finch spoke of were still there.

"Come on Nora…think about it for a second…" His grin turned into a dirty leer, "…you were such a spirited girl at fourteen…"

Flashback:

_"No! Finch, don't do it! Darius said to leave me alone!"_

_She couldn't see, something over her eyes, but she knew who it was all the same._

_There was something wrapped around her wrists, painfully tight, it felt like some sort of wire. The kind that their ever ingenious leader used to build his little contraptions, it made her sick to think about what Finch was planning to use them for now. _

_"Who, Goggles?" A snorted scoff followed by a malicious laugh at her expense. "Please, he's going to be gone all morning, and maybe even longer if he can't find what he's looking for…or if something happens to him."_

_"What?! Finch what are you going to do to him?" The panic in her young voice made it shrill, "You __**bastard**__! Leave Darius out of this, he hasn't done anything!"_

_She struggled against the bonds that dug deep into her soft flesh and felt it as cut, bringing blood as well as pain._

_"Hasn't done anything?" The voice came from above her, startling her as much as it scared her, "The reason he hasn't let me get anywhere near you is because he wants you for __**himself**__. Selfish prick just wanted to be sure that you were his first."_

_There was a sudden rustle of movement before she felt him grope her roughly, violating her as she screamed and thrashed against his hold._

_"N-no!" Nora choked on a sob, "D-Darius isn't like that. He protects me because I'm like his younger sister…I…" _

_There was only his breath was on her face this time, a final warning, "I'll be gentle…"_

_And then there were no time for words, just fighting and fighting. Screaming and crying, crying and screaming. Resisting and resisting until all of her energy was gone and all she could do was lay there sobbing quietly as he did what he wanted, took what he wanted._

_It was only when he was done that he untied her, pulling the metal wire out of the skin it had so heavily embedded itself in. And then he was gone, leaving her broken body covered by no more than a towel as she curled up and mourned the loss of an innocence too soon lost. _

_In the end, Darius died anyway._

End Flashback:

Nora swallowed as the memory of that experience came back to her.

_She had left that gang the next day, and had never looked back; becoming instead the protector to the biotics children she realized were more like her than she had ever realized. _

But the memory still made her feel dirty, used and so very disgusting. And yet for all that it made her loath herself, she hated Finch that much more. She was no longer that child, would no longer just stand by as he used her for his own desire.

Pulling out of his grip she shoved him back several paces glaring at him as he fell back against one of the small tables.

"Give it up Finch. You're wasting your time - you think I care _that? _I clawed my way out of the sewers and helped anyone that I could. And now…"

She refused to allow this part of her past dominate her now, she was _not_ going to bend to him as she had done before…

"Now I can legally _execute_ everyone in this bar, Finch, even _you_. You think that Council cares about my shady past? Don't make me laugh."

…and there was only one way she could guarantee that a meeting like this would never happen again.

Nora pulled out her shotgun, and cocked it.

From behind her the Turian guard spoke up, "The Turians would not care about such thing. And I doubt your lies would fool the Salarians or the Asari."

Nora felt a smile on her lips as she raised the gun to chest height, "Goodbye Finch."

And then he was no longer a problem, to her or the Turian guardsman; staring down at his motionless body made it that much more clear to her.

Or perhaps unclear, as it was only when Garrus pulled her away from the body, leaving Wrex to deal with its removal that she realized just how badly she was shaking.

"Commander."

Nora turned her gaze towards his face but remained unseeing. There were a thousand different emotions running through her head, countless things she wanted to say, wanted to do.

"Shepard." The feeling of his talon on her cheek, and along the side of her face made it easier to focus.

"Nora, what happened?" There was an edge of anger to his protective concern, a tinge of jealousy when he asked her. "What did Finch say to you?"

And so she told him about Finch and the terrible things he had done to her as a child, all the while feeling herself crumple at the weight of her past. And when at last she finished, all she could do was wrap her arms around her trembling body and hope that against all the odds Garrus was still willing to keep her.

"I…"

The silence that followed was uncomfortable at best.

"I don't understand…" Garrus tried to make sense of what she had just told him, "You did not care for him and yet he still decided to…_mate_ with you?"

The Turian looked down at the woman standing so quietly in his shadow, "Is that the right word Commander?"

"I-it…yes. That's the right word Garrus." She hesitated before drawing closer to him as if she was afraid he would no longer care to have her so near him. Garrus pulled her close instantly, his hands curling protectively around her shoulder and lower back.

"But…that man, he did not care that you did not want him as a partner?"

As a member of C-sec and of the Turian species, Garrus had thought himself relatively knowledgeable on the topic of human beings and their living habits. He still did not understand their funny sayings, or their refusal to accept authority (which he could sympathize with on at least some level). But it seemed that this occurrence between his human commander and the other human was not common even for normal behavior, and it was the thought that something _wrong_ had been done to her that made the Turian that much more aggressive in his questions.

"No, Finch didn't care." Her voice was slightly muffled by his chest, but she made no move to pull away.

"Did _you_, Nora? Care what he did?"

Garrus took her silence to mean that she did.

"Among humans, this sort of thing…it is not… _accepted_ is it?" He hated to think that he had so misjudged an entire species to believe it to be more like his own, where a Turian took only one partner for their entire lifetime.

"No!" For the first time since she had killed Finch Nora felt a sudden spike of emotion and looked up, "Most humans are _not_ like that – such actions are _not_ accepted. Finch was…one of the worst. What happened to me…it happens down in the slums because there is no one to watch out for the weaker ones. Females are particularly at a disadvantage."

Looking into his brilliant blue eyes she shook her head again, "I was too young to fight back and win. Darius would have stopped him…but like I told you, he wasn't there when it happened."

It took Garrus several moments of silence before he managed to collect himself to speak. Feelings of anger and resentment towards Finch warred with similar feelings towards Darius, the human man who had failed to protect her leaving her at the mercy of that now mercifully dead man. And then there was the jealousy, the all consuming passionate feeling of possession that roaring through him as he looked down at the slim figure pressed so softly to his side. It was only because they were still in Chora's Den that he hesitated to do precisely as his desires begged him. But in the moment that Nora turned her large purple-blue eyes to him, he saw with clarity the tears that threatened to fall, the tremble of her lip and the way her hands closed so tightly on his armor, breaking through his hesitation to drive him towards her.

And so, in the half-dark of Chora's Den, amongst the moving bodies and pounding music a lone Turian agent bent down as he clasped his human companion so gently in his arms, and with a profound gentleness pressed his mouth softly to her own. Shy, possessive, tender and caring; he took all that was special about their relationship and tried to reassure her, realizing only when she pressed back against his lips with her own that she already knew.

So...what did you think? Shoot me a review and let me know :)


	11. Chapter 11: Hope and Revelation

Hello Everyone :) Sorry for the wait - college has been a bit busy so writing has been put on the backburner so again I do want to say I have finally managed to finish this chapter, so all is not lost:) Yay! As for the story itself, it is almost at its end, a sad concept but I think that after this there may only be two more chapters before it comes to an end. In any case I hope to have it FINISHED by March...if not sooner :) Thank you all for your continued support with comments and continuing to read this fic. I hope you all enjoy, and I'll do my best to keep chapters coming.

Thanks again,

Voi

EDIT: Made a couple edits (spelling and some tense issues I had - thanks to Zarsthor and Blackrai7557 for point them out. I hope I got them all!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect as it is owned by Bioware...thus it is not mine..

* * *

"I'm glad you came, Shepard."

The kind words of the captain were just barely audible over the pounding music that had made Flux such a popular new club.

Having arrived at the club only a moment earlier, Nora had not managed to order the drink she had so been wanting, but decided that under the circumstances it was probably best.

"They pulled me off the mission, just like when they forced you to give up the Normandy." Nora responded, her voice wavering with the betrayal and anger so very unlike her old character. She was changing, one that Captain Anderson recognized instantly as she sat down and stared at him with those ever unsettling purple-blue eyes.

What had aged this woman? What had pushed her this far?

He didn't have to ask in order to know it was Saren and all the events that had unfolded up until this point.

"I'm sorry," The captains words were sincere as his dark gaze rose to meet those of his commander, "I wanted to warn you, but there was no way to get a message across before you docked. – I know you're pissed off right now, but you can't give up."

The look on her face suggested that giving up was the very last thing she was willing to do. Still, he continued, drawing strength from their shared conviction over the issue.

"They all think this is over but we both know it's not. You have to go to Illos. You have to stop Saren from using the Conduit."

The commander nodded silently for a moment before speaking, "I know…but there's only one ship that's fast enough to get me into the Terminus system undetected, and she's grounded."

"Citadel controls lock out all the Normandy's systems," Captain Anderson agreed quietly, "but if we override the Ambassadors' orders we can get them to put the Normandy back online – You can be in the Terminus systems before anyone knows you're gone."

Feeling as is she had known he would suggest something this drastic Commander Nora Shepard shook her head, refusing the initial idea. She was not going to leave another person behind to be slaughtered by the proverbial beast that had become the council.

"If we steal the Normandy you're the one left holding the bag." She spoke, her words a hard accusation, "I won't do it. There has to be another way."

"And if Saren finds the Conduit, life as we know it is over. The Reapers will destroy us: humans, Asari, everybody. You're the only one who can stop them, Shepard. So I'll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station."

"No. I won't. Forgive me captain but I refuse to – "

"Commander. It's an order I'm giving you. Not a suggestion." His once soft voice left no edge of compromise as he spoke to her now, forcing her decision.

The human woman felt herself choke on a flurry of emotion, "I won't forget this Captain, I promise."

Captain Anderson just nodded in understanding, the corner of his lips turned upwards into a small smile.

"You get to the Normandy and tell Joker to stand by, Commander."

"Yes sir."

And then she left, gone in moment, her small smile the last thing he saw before she disappeared from view.

"Good luck Shepard."

* * * * * * *

There was a wonderful pounding in her ears. It sang in her blood, and echoed in her head until there was nothing more she could think of.

They were going to stop him.

Walking into the large elevator that would take her to the upper docking bay, Commander Shepard felt herself grow wonderfully tense with the intensity of the thought; it was both exciting and terrifying. Inhaling slowly, Shepard allowed herself a quick ghost of a touch on the shotgun on her back and felt her muscles ease just the smallest amount; she would finish this mission.

Hearing the faint hiss of the elevator doors as they opened, Nora snapped back to a focus and strode off the platform, her eyes intent on the Normandy and nowhere else. Several seconds later she was on the command deck she had left only hours earlier, her eyes alert as she awaited the telltale sign of Captain Anderson's success. And then it happened. The briefest of flashes on the main command screen, the sudden unlocking of the clasps that had bound the Normandy so soundly, all gone.

They were free.

"Get us out of here Joker" Nora's command was one of firm control, of unspoken authority, and in the hollow of the room as it echoed with ghostly magnificence.

"Get us out - Now."

* * * * * * *

Her room was as quiet as she remembered it being. Still, the silence did nothing to ease her racing mind as she tried in vain to understand the map and building schematics she had on the screen – it had been hours already and they weren't becoming any clearer.

Pushing her chair back from her desk she opened the small drawer to her right and pulled out one of two remaining stimuli shots she had stored there. Feeling herself choking a little on the inside, Nora administered the drug only able to give herself half before her self-loathing made it impossible to continue. It was shameful what she was doing, a disgrace. Saren was so close and now, at the moment when she had to be at her best she was still hooked on those drugs.

What would Garrus say?

Another wave of anguish arose at the thought and she lurched towards the small kitchenette in her room to dispose of the half-used syringe. But on her way back to her desk the room seemed to sway around her, emulating and ocean as it began to pitch and roll, catching her foot and sending her to the ground. Feeling a moment of panic seize her Nora wondered if the Normandy had been attacked. But after several more minutes of silence it became apparent that nothing was wrong with her ship and everything was wrong with her.

What was going on?

And so, picking herself slowly off the ground so as to avoid further confusion Nora managed to walk to her desk chair before collapsing in it, emotionally drained.

Groaning softly in frustration, Commander Shepard allowed herself a brief moment of reprieve as she rested her head in her hands, her eyes savoring the darkness not tainted by bright light. There was so much going on now…

"Nora?"

The automatic doors of her room had already hissed to a close by the time she opened her eyes, but even then, his brilliant blue seemed to pierce through the dark to see only her.

"Hello Garrus."

She said his name in that soft voice that always thrilled his heart though he never told her so. It was his secret pleasure, to see her thus, as a woman as well as a commander.

"Joker said that it will still be several hours before we arrive at the Mu relay," Garrus spoke softly as he took his familiar seat on her bed, "He said that everyone who can should get some rest."

The woman sitting exhaustedly in the chair before him just nodded as she looked up at the ceiling of her room to sigh.

"I guess that means me too huh?" Her voice was amused despite the tired expression on her face.

"I would assume so…" Garrus trailed off as the woman before him stood up and then eased herself onto her lap, curling herself up to lean comfortably against his chest.

"Nora?"

Funny that it seemed second nature now to run his taloned hands through her short hair, cuddle her closer and caress her cheek without asking her first. Kissing was still new, barely a few hours in fact, but a few whispered words were all that were needed to ask permission.

She accepted instantly, clutching at his much larger form as he pressed gently against her. As always, the experience left them both flushed (well, Nora really…he supposed that he would have flushed if he was capable of such a thing).

"Will you stay the night with me?" Nora asked in a hesitant whisper once she had regained control of her breathing. Her large eyes locked with this own as she asked the question, her cheeks once more turning bright with color.

"Nora." Garrus looked uncomfortable as he looked down at the little human who so effortlessly seemed to command his entire attention. Did she really mean what he thought she did? Surely he was wrong. And yet, her gaze never wavered despite the anxiety he could see written all over her face.

"It is much too soon to do…" Garrus hesitated, still hoping that he had understood her words incorrectly. Speaking of human mating with the one woman he considered special was not something he had been planning on doing any time soon.

"Oh!" The flood of realization seemed to flood the human woman sitting on his lap and her sudden shyness was mirrored in the way she suddenly broke her gaze to stare at the ground.

"I didn't mean…that." Nora felt even more embarrassed than she looked, she hadn't meant to imply anything sexual and yet what she had asked truly did sound like an invitation. She couldn't believe how naïve she sounded, it was even worse than her first time in the Alliance barracks and realizing she had a lot to learn.

"Maybe later, I mean…" Nora could tell this was going to be an awkward conversation, "…If it's even physically possible…or um, if you want…maybe in the future? Well…I mean maybe if…" realizing she was starting to ramble the woman cut herself off afraid of saying anything else.

And yet, it seemed that her ever perfect Turian Agent seemed to understand.

"You simply wish for me to share company with you?" His words were gentle as his hands rubbed her arms, up and down in a slow caress that made her muscles relax and her eyelids heavy. She could only barely gather the energy to hum in agreement while she forced her eyes open once more.

And that was all either of them needed as they both fell back against the bed, content in spending the few hours they had together.

* * * * * * *

"Commander, we're 5 minutes from the Mu relay."

Having been lost in a dark haze of satisfaction Nora felt herself jump at the unexpected message, her head jerking up from its comfortable place on Garrus's shoulder.

"Thank you Joker. I'll be there in five."

Next to her, Garrus had sat up, his hands wrapping around her waist in a loose, but undoubtedly possessive hold that was now familiar to her. Still, that did not stop the shiver that raced down her back as the cool metallic of his skin pressed against the warmth of her own through the large t-shirt she wore. And yet, not a second later she found herself warm once again as her lover shifted to wrap the blanket more securely around her smaller from.

"You have to get going."

His voice was rough in a way she had never heard him before, the careful control he kept on himself gone, lost in the precious afterglow.

She pressed her lips to his shoulder as he spoke and felt him tighten his grip on her smaller form.

"Nora…"

"I know." Her voice was soft, as was the look in her eyes when she looked at him, soft and hesitant.

She didn't ever want to leave the protective strength of his arms.

"I know…I…"

And then she could no longer speak, her mouth caught up in his soft kiss that left her breathless despite its tender nature.

"Go on…" he whispered, pulling back to comb a hand through her short hair before running it possessively over her exposed shoulder, "They're waiting."

Looking decidedly torn between the two, Garrus allowed himself to chuckle slightly before nudging her out of the bed only to find his breath catch in his throat as he looked at her vulnerable form in the dim light of her desk lamp. Hours of cuddling together had not dulled the feelings he had for her, and watching her dress as he was now was made all the more difficult knowing that this may be the first and last time he could see her thus.

A frown flashed across his features before he managed to suppress the thought. All that mattered was the time they had left.

"I'll see you on the bridge?"

Framed in the doorway of her room, her hair still adorably mused, Garrus smiled softly at the look in her eyes.

"I'll be there once we've made the jump." He promised.

And then she was gone, lost as the doors closed, forced to once more leave Nora behind and become Commander Shepard.

* * * * * * *

Nora walked into the dimly lit cockpit where Joker had just started the mandatory space scan, his hands flying across the keys as he did so.

She had gotten dizzy again in the hallway and had nearly fallen down the stairs if it wasn't for her desperate grab of the railing.

Something was most certainly wrong with her…

"Uh…commander, we've got company."

They had barely been in the Artemus Tau region for ten seconds and already it was clear, not only from the sensor, but from the visuals outside that they were grossly outnumbered by the geth fleet.

"Have their sensors picked us up yet?"

From her position behind the commander, the Asari doctor added her questions to the tense air that had engulfed the ship since their arrival in deep space, asking the question that everyone else had been afraid to voice.

"The stealth systems are engaged." Joker's voice sounded strained, as if he was hesitant to voice his confidence in the given situation, unless we get close enough for a visual they won't have any idea we're here."

"Picking up some strange readings from the planet's surface…" Pressly's voice sounded too loud in the stagnant silence.

Saren.

The thought was instinctual, all consuming and so entirely correct that Nora wondered why it had taken those precious few seconds for the thought to surface at all. Saren was there, on the surface – all she had to do was get him.

"Take us down Joker," Her order was steely cool, "lock in the coordinates."

Pressly looked up from the luminescent navigation panels once more, "Negative on that commander." Tapping the screen in front of him to make his point he continued, "The nearest landing site is two klicks away. "

Shepard could almost hear Kaiden in her mind, his passionate voice protesting the seeming impossible situation.

We'll never make it in time, on foot. Get us something closer!

Commander Shepard allowed herself a small smile before turning to Joker, her attention back to her ever awaiting pilot.

"Drop us in the mako." Her voice was the one of calm amongst the tension, a voice of absolute certainty.

"You need at least a hundred meters of open terrain to pull a drop off like that. The most I can find near Saren is twenty."

Twenty meters? We'll never make it close enough for a drop. 

There was Kaiden again in her mind, worrying like the older brother she imagined he could be.

He never would have allowed her to go through with this.

Feeling a touch of pain at the thought, Nora tried to bury it in the rest of her racing thoughts.

"We have to try." It would seem that only Liara could understand the desperation with which the Commander had found the answer.

Find another landing zone! 

Nora wondered, not for the first time, if she really was more stressed out than she thought – the voice in her head mirroring her Lieutenant as it grew increasingly insistent, worried.

"There is no other landing zone!!!" Pressly's voice was angry and worried a stark contrast to the mechanical calm of Tali who spoke up next.

"The descent angle is too steep."

Leave Tali to give mathematical reasoning to emotional tension.

Nora fought back another smile before turning to the Asari doctor who remained her only other vocal champion.

"It's our only option"

It's not an option, it's a suicide run! We don't – 

Nora could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as Kaiden echoed in her mind; she would have to do something about that. And so absorbed was she in doing so, that it was she nearly missed her pilot's half whispered words.

"I can do it."

"Joker?" Shepard felt herself jolted from her thoughts, surprise and respect warming her as she turned to face her ever scruffy looking pilot.

He repeated the words again, with greater confidence this time.

"I can do it."

Nora felt a smile warm her features as looked at her ever dependable pilot, and then the smile was gone, lost in the sudden flurry of movement that followed. There wasn't very much time left before they reached the decided upon drop zone.

"Alright, Garrus gear up and head down to the mako. Bring Wrex with you too." Turning on her heel, Nora moved to go collect her equipment before stopping suddenly to turn to her pilot one last time.

"Oh! And Joker?"

"Ma'am?" the hands flying across the control panel stilled for the briefest of moments.

"Drop us right on top of that bastard."

* * * * * * *

"You know, I heard you arguing with me today?"

Her voice was self mocking but light in its reproach.

"You were telling me that this," she gestured vaguely to the bottom floor where the Mako was waiting, "was stupid. That is was a suicide run."

Laughing lightly, Nora had to check herself from dissolving into tears – the two emotions too easily to get confused.

A semi silence followed, hung in the air for a moment before she spoke again.

"I wish you would get better." She admitted softly, taking one of his hands in her own and clasping it gently. Looking down at Kaiden made her swallow hard as emotion threatened to overwhelm her for what seemed to be the hundredth time since Virmire, she had yet to return to her old, controlled self. Perhaps she never would; the thought scared her.

"Everyone is worried. Liara seems to be taking it particularly hard and I doubt anyone hasn't seen how broken up I am over you right now."

She let out a shuttering breath before continuing, her thumb brushing against the back of his hand.

"I'm going on the mission so that I can forgive myself for losing both you and Ash. I-I know what you said, but I just can't take it. Not then, not now. I'll get him for what he did – for what I did and then…"

She hesitated for a moment before coming to a decision. Getting slowly to her feet, her hand braced against her thigh as she adjusted to the weight of her gear.

"I'll see you later, Alenko." She whispered, straightening up and giving his hand one last squeeze, "So don't you start giving out compliments or yell at me until I see you again, ok?"

Nora allowed herself one last flickering smile, before her eyes glazed over in pain and she turned away. And so, with hands clenched tightly into fists, Nora left the room, her face set in a mask of determination and rigid control; never noticing the flicker of blue light than engulfed the hand she had so gently squeezed.

Aye aye Shepard…good luck. 

* * * * * * *

The drop in the Mako was something between a wild childhood fantasy and a terrible nightmare. The feeling of falling was something Nora had long since become accustomed to, but the terrible jarring feeling of the landing made her grit her teeth, as did the visual she received of Saren disappearing into an unknown tunnel sealed shut by massive stone doors.

Still, it took several moments of tense action before the Mako could come to a complete stop and those inside could gather what little concentration they could.

"We have to get inside this bunker before Saren gets to the conduit." Nora voiced the comment despite the obviousness of her statement, she needed something to calm her nerves and stating the obvious was helpful in occasions such as these.

"There's no way we're getting through that door with brute force though."

Looking at the large Krogan behind her Nora felt her lips twist in the barest of smiles as she saw his expression, the poor warrior looked so disappointed.

"Saren found a way to open it. There must be some sort of security override somewhere in this complex." Garrus tried his Omni-tool and sighed as it beeped in failure, such was the case with more ancient alien technology.

"We'll just have to find some way to get it up and running again." Nora mumbled to herself as she caught movement at the edge of her vision and un-holstered the shotgun at her back, "Alright, let's move out!"

* * * * * * *

"It feels like we're being watched…but not by the geth."

It was the first time during this mission that Wrex mentioned anything outside of complaining about how boring the geth were being. Indeed, they did seem easier to hit but the human commander had chalked that up to their being so focused. Still, the hulking Krogan was right, something or someone was watching them and while seemingly malignant it didn't seem to be helping either.

Just as well, the human commander thought as she walked into what might have been a control room for the underground construct; they didn't need any more enemies…

"Spread out, this looks like it might be the place…tell me if you find anything." Ordering the other two as she did, Commander Shepard broke away and approached the grimy windows of the room, casting a quick glance outside to make sure there were no additional geth troops on their way up.

"This place still has power. It must be running off its own generator" from across the hall Wrex pointed to the minimal glow of the lights and a strange rotating interface. Nora made her way to it, arriving just as Garrus finished his examination of the remaining panels around the room.

"This is most likely the command center for the entire complex," his voice carried to where his commander was standing but he dared not move away from his post by the window, " Saren's troops must have sealed the doors from here after he went inside. We'll have to figure out how to disengage the security lockdown if we ever want to get inside that bunker."

Understanding what he was saying the human woman walked to the security and tried to activate it, it spun for a moment before dimming. Once more and the reaction was the same. One more time and…

"Come on," Wrex's voice was gruff with impatience, "Saren's already got a head start. We have to go find him before he reaches the Conduit."

Nora looked at her Krogan crewmate but hesitated to leave the security panel, this was the only lead they had.

"Give me a second…I'm not that good with my Omni-tool…so maybe if I change this setting it…"

* * * * * * *

Nora could hear Garrus and Wrex talking above the blaze of gun fire about the stasis pods that towered over them in neat columns, it was a necropolis now though, and all that had once lived in them had long since died.

Finding the controls for the doors that Saren had sealed shut had taken only a few moments after they had located the correct room. Now as they sped down the narrow passage between the two blocks of stasis pods such brevity was almost wished for – not that the peace wasn't welcome, but it put her on edge.

This planet was too dark, too foreboding to leave anyone alone for long. 

No sooner had the human commander given voice to her thoughts when, as if to reinforce these notions, the translucent blue of a mass-effect field flickered before them, obstructing their path entirely.

"Ah shit…"

Allowing herself to grin at the very poignant words of her Krogan companion, Nora unsnapped the restraints of her chair and walked up to stand beside Garrus, her eyes trained on the flickering shield before noticing the shadowy dark of a doorway to the side.

"Come on, there's something out there – suit up and stay alert. We need to figure out a way around this thing."

And then they were outside in the eerie silence of the passageway, walking in the one direction that could be leading them into a trap. The small room in which they appeared was just that, a room, nothing more. Or at least, that was how it first appeared. It was only when the last of their group moved away from the entrance way that the door slid shut behind them and the floor began to move, descending along some invisible rail system.

"Great…" the Krogan at her shoulder sounded thrilled, "I knew this was a trap…"

"If this were simply an automated trap Saren would have triggered it." Garrus argued from her other side, his head turning this way and that as he took in the mechanical ingenuity of the platform.

Feeling the need to voice her uncertainty about either theory, her question changed the moment they came out of the dark stone outcropping and into a hall so large she swore the Normandy could have fit there with ease. But what drew her eye was not the room so much as it was the brilliant orange rotating machine, and when at last the platform stopped moving she approached it with all the curiosity of a child.

"What do you think this is?"

The question was barely whispered, and yet it thundered through the space, echoing onto itself until the original question was no longer coherent.

You are not Prothean. But you are not machine either. This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacons. 

A whisper much like her own filled her ears, but this one did not echo did not ring organic to her ears.

Where was the voice coming from?

There was a familiar flickering of lights now, lights that came from the orange rotating machine.

Perhaps from here? 

"Looks like some kind of VI program," Garrus had stepped forward to take a closer look at the strange object, and the image that had appeared, "Pretty badly damaged."

I do not sense the taint of indoctrination on any of you, unlike the other that passed recently. Perhaps there is still hope.

The voice continued with its explanations despite the comments of her companions until Wrex pointed out something that Nora had overlooked, perhaps as a result of being exposed to the Cipher.

"Hey buddy…how come I can understand you? Why aren't you speaking that 'Prothean' language?

I have been monitoring your communication since you arrived at this facility. I have translated my output into a format that you will comprehend. My name is Vigil. You are safe here for the moment. But that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe. 

Nora felt her stomach drop a little and immediately disliked the feeling, uncomfortable with the panic that came with Vigil's words.

"Why did you bring me here?" The words sounded more like a demand than a question but Nora didn't have time to be polite. If Vigil was correct, and time was as tight as they both imagined, then very little time could be spared beating around the bush.

You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it you must understand or you will make the same mistakes we did. 

Nora nodded in acceptance but remained silent; she didn't want to have to interrupt unless she had to.

The Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of government. As it was with us, and as it has been for every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap. The station is actually an enormous mass relay, one that links to dark space, the empty voice beyond the galaxy's horizon. When the Citadel relay is activated the Reapers will pour through, and all you know will be destroyed.

It was ironic, perhaps even cynically so, that the one place considered the hub of universal security was the key to the Reaper's victory. The beauty and terrible craftiness of the entire took her breath away.

"How come nobody ever noticed that the Citadel was a giant mass relay?"

The Reapers are careful to keep the greatest secrets of the Citadel hidden. That is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers. 

In her mind Nora could already picture just who the Prothean VI was describing, could see their strange stick-like appendages as their little fingers tapped idly on the omni-boards before them.

The keepers maintain the most basic functions. They enable any species that discovers the Citadel to use it without fully understanding the technology. Reliance on the keepers ensures that no other species will ever discover the Citadel's true nature. Not until the relay is activated and the Reapers invade. 

"If he turns on the relay the Reapers can wipe out the Council and the Citadel fleet in one fell swoop." Her words were hushed, as if she feared speaking the words would bring about the fate she was trying to fight against; had to fight against.

That was our fate. Our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers seized control of the citadel, and through it, the mass relays. Communication and transportation across our empire was crippled. Each star system was isolated, cut off from the others. Easy prey for the Reaper fleets. Over the next couple of decades, the Reapers systematically obliterated our people. World by world, system by system, they methodically wiped us out.

"Some of you must have managed to survive..." Nora couldn't fathom it, could barely wrap her mind around it…system by system…they had been obliterated. She felt sick, it had been genocide.

Would this happen to their people too?

Nora didn't want to consider it.

Through the Citadel, the Reapers had access to all of our records, maps, census data. Information is power, and they knew everything about us. Their fleets advanced across every region of the galaxy. Some worlds were utterly destroyed, others were conquered, their populations enslaved. These indoctrinated servants became sleeper agents under Reaper control. Taken in as refugees by other Protheans. They betrayed them to the machines. Within a few centuries, the Reapers had killed or enslaved every Prothean in the galaxy. They were relentless, brutal and absolutely thorough. 

"You said you brought me here for a reason," Nora could barely take any more; it was to sickening, too terrible, "Tell me what I have to do."

The Conduit is the key. Before the Reapers attacked, we Protheans were on the cusp of understanding mass relay technology. Ilos was a top secret facility – here researchers worked to create a small scale version of a mass relay, one that linked directly to the Citadel, the hub of the relay network. 

"So the Conduit is not a weapon, it's a back door into the Citadel…but then…I don't understand, how did you stay hidden?"

All our records were destroyed in the initial attack on the Citadel. While the Prothean empire came crashing down Ilos was spared. We severed all communication with the outside and our facility went dark. The personnel retreated underground, to these archives. To conserve resources everyone was put into cryogenic stasis. I was programmed to monitor the facility and wake the staff when the danger had passed. But the genocide of an entire species is a long, slow process.

It felt strange to hear of such an emotional experience, of death and suffering, from a voice that was almost mechanically uncaring.

Years passed. Decades, centuries. – The Reapers persisted and my energy reserves were dwindling. 

Nora had a sinking suspicion she knew where this was heading, and knew she was not going to like it.

I began to disable the life support of nonessential personnel. First support staff, then security. One by one, their pods were shut down to conserve energy. Eventually, only the stasis pods of the top scientists remained active. Even these were in danger of failing when the Reapers finally retreated back through the Citadel relay.

"You were programmed to protect them, not kill them." Nora's voice was an accusation but it was no more than a terrified whisper, "I understand why…but…" She couldn't continue, understanding was a far different concept than forgiveness – and she doubted Vigil cared about either.

This outcome was not completely unforeseen. My actions were the result of contingency programming entered on my creation. I saved key personnel. When the Reapers retreated, the top researchers were still alive. My actions are the only reason any hope remains. When the researchers woke they realized the Prothean species was doomed. There were only a dozen individuals left; too few to sustain a viable population. Yet they vowed to stop the Reapers from returning, a way to break the cycle forever. And they knew the keepers were the key. 

"But didn't you say the keepers were under the influence of the Reapers?"

The keepers are controlled by the Citadel. Before each invasion, a signal is sent from the station, compelling the keepers to activate the Citadel relay. After decades of feverish study the scientists found a way to alter this signal. Using the conduit, they gained access to the Citadel and made the modifications. This time, when Sovereign sent the signal, they ignored it. The Reapers are trapped in dark space. 

"Then Saren must have some plan to undo everything you did, so that the Reaper…Sovereign would bring all other Reapers out of the void."

The one you call Saren will use the Conduit to bypass the Citadel's defenses. Once inside, he will transfer the control of the station to Sovereign. Sovereign will override the Citadel systems and manually open the relay. And the cycle of extinction will begin again.

"I'll stop Saren...And Sovereign." The human commander promised, feeling as if the weight of entire peoples, peoples spanning over a million years, had come to wrest on her shoulders, "Just tell me how."

And so he did.

There's a data file in my console, take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel's master control unit, upload it to the station. It will corrupt the Citadel security protocols and give you temporary control of the station. It might give you a change against Sovereign.

"The Citadel's master control unit?" Nora had scoured the Citadel before but had never come across a room like that.

Through the Conduit, follow Saren. He will lead you to your destination. 

And though her orders were given, and the mission awaiting her instant attention there was one last question on the tip of her tongue.

"Vigil…what happened to the survivors of the Conduit Project?"

They used the Conduit to gain access to the Citadel, but the Conduit is only a prototype. The portal only links in one direction, so they were trapped on the station. I do not know what became of them then. It is unlikely that they found any food or water on the station. I fear they suffered a slow, grim death. I only know they succeeded in their mission to seal the relay. Your presence here proves that their sacrifice was not in vain. 

Nora could only nod mutely at the sudden pain in her chest, and the deep feeling of gratitude she felt for the faceless Protheans who had so long ago sacrificed themselves. And then she was moving, walking back to touch the controls of the moving platform.

"Saren's got enough of a head start," she commented softly as she caught the gaze of her two other crewmates, "Grab that data file and let's go!"

And when at last all three of them had assembled on the platform, Vigil imparted its final comment, sounding hopeful despite the impossibility of the concept.

The one you call Saren has not reached the Conduit, not yet. There is still hope if you hurry.

Nora turned to cast one last glance at the AI across the hall…and looked away only when she could no longer see the glow of the Prothean AI. She had been late once before – she could only hope that now things would be different and so, feeling herself straighten with conviction, she climbed back into the Mako.

"Let's go."

The Mako accelerated then, moving through the ruins of a once great civilization. In the small craft all three of its occupants had lapsed into a tense but otherwise single-minded focus on the task at hand; they all knew time was short and they could afford no mistakes. Vigil had placed the hopes of its builders on their shoulders, and now was the time for action.

The battle out of the dark ruins was the stuff of nightmares despite the victory on their part. Where once they had believed their fight on foot to be far too easy, it was this portion of the mission that seemed to make up for it.

Geth armed with large explosives and the backup to sustain a tremendous attack had ambushed them not long after their departing Vigil's location. From there it had been a continuous flow of frenzied motion as both the human commander and Wrex sought to thin their numbers while combating the bucking and twisting of the Mako as Garrus sought to maneuver them around the hail of gun fire. Despite their best work the Mako had taken a moderate beating before the two gunners could finish with the more than modestly sized ambush squad. It was only with Wrexs' final creative curse that Nora allowed herself a second to check her now uneven breathing and ease the tense set of her shoulders.

The Mako had only just stilled its violent shuddering, giving a quick glance at the damage and making whatever repairs were necessary, before the team pushed ahead once more, their focus unwavering.

However, when they emerged suddenly from the dark of the ruins into the brilliant sunlight of Illos, Nora found herself stunned by its sheer beauty and forgot, for that moment, everything about Saren. For all of the pain and suffering, the death that had come to encompass all she knew about this planet, perhaps now, seeing the brilliant light of the sun and the startlingly clear blue of the sky were meant to redeem.

Of all the planets she had visited on for this long, terribly long, mission she knew that she would remember this planet forever.

"Shepard?" the voice of her fellow gunner broke her out of her reverie.

"Yes, what is it Wrex?" Nora felt a twinge of shame at her sudden lapse in focus, at the danger she had placed her team into because she couldn't keep her head, and redoubled her efforts.

"I've just spotted Saren approaching the Conduit, and by the looks of it the surrounding area is packed full of geth."

Head snapping to the panels to her left, Nora scanned the information charts and confirmed what Wrex had said. Saren was indeed close; scans sent from the Normandy suggested a beach of some sort of sand outcropping. In either case it would require some skillful maneuvering as the soft sand was not the most ideal for the Mako and with the threat of such a large number of geth following Saren would be nearly impossible. They wouldn't be able to reach the rogue Spectre in time if they tried to destroy all hostiles in between.

Knowing that her decision now would impact whether or not they died on this planet did not make her decision any easier. And so, allowing herself one deep breath as they crested the hill overlooking the beach head, Nora lunged for the energy panel, directing the other two as she worked.

"Garrus, boost shields an additional ten percent and divert all extra energy from the weaponry systems to the engine – keep driving no matter what, ok? And Wrex, don't glare at me like that…" She held back a knowing grin as she quickly glanced at him, "We're just going to have to trust that we can do this without our usual firepower, we don't have time to do two things at once."

Then they were under fire, or should have been, had Garrus not managed to maneuver the Mako around the worst of the assault. Still, the impact of the lesser artillery was enough to make the human commander grimace as she struggled to keep Saren her sights.

But it was then, in the moment she saw him, that a particularly nasty bolt of energy rocked the Mako so badly that it rolled, and threw the human commander in the confined space of the vehicle; dashing her fragile body against the ceiling as well as everything else in between. And when at last, in what was either tremendous luck or the sheer ability of her helmsman, the Mako rolled back onto its wheels Nora still felt as if the world was swimming under her. Not that it was because of any injury, her armor saw that she was at least mildly insulated against the otherwise bruising tumble, but then why was she so unsteady? This was not the first time…and the reoccurrence was not something she needed right now.

"Nor-Commander, are you alright?!"

Casting a quick glance at the Turian still diligently working on maneuvering the Mako, a quick 'yes' was all she managed as she got to her feet and took her position at the weapons scope once more. She had intended to do more, say more, but no sooner had she managed to check their surroundings when she felt her heart seize painfully in her chest.

Saren was just feet from the Conduit, and as she watched he crept closer and closer until he was lost in the shimmering blue of the ancient structure. Now that he had passed through the Conduit would start closing down.

That bastard! 

Rage, hot and bitter, clawed its way up Nora's throat before her anger turned to passion and single-minded drive. They were not going to lose here and not now; they had broken too many rules and been hurt too many times to just let that rogue Spectre get away from them on this scarred planet.

"Garrus, I don't care what it's going to cost us, but get us to the conduit in the next thirty seconds or else there won't be a universe left to protect."

And suddenly they were in motion, rushing past the horde of geth, absorbing whatever damage they had to in order to move those last hundred meters to the shore and then to the conduit.

Then they were flying…

The mako rocketed upward in the vertical launch of the conduit as the vibrant blue of the mass-effect field sling-shot them upwards forcing all three in the Mako force themselves into their heavy-belted seats. Already Nora could feel herself being pushed more and more to the back of her seat. Up and up they traveled until it was that she could feel the metallic frame digging into the middle of one shoulder blade and her vision began to swim once again.

And then, in the span of a single breath, the world exploded around them in a mix of pain and noise. They were passing through space, tearing through the distance while their bodies were pushed to their limits inside the vehicle that was now more like a prison.

The last she recalled, amidst the chaotic roar of the mass-effect generator and the violent shuddering of the Mako on the very solid wall of the presidium, was the shock and pain in Garrus's brilliant blue eyes before everything faded to black.

NORA!

* * *

Thanks again for reading :) Please review if you can - I love hearing any feedback (including anything I need to work on)!!!


	12. Chapter 12: Moments that Resound Forever

Wow...ok, so it's been more than a little while. And again I've got to apologize...I'm not sure how many people are still reading this fic, or are even interested anymore. But for those of you who are (to which I say THANK YOU) this is just a bit of reminder that next chapter will be the last for this particular fic...sounding the total chapter count to about 13. After that it will be done...at least until ME 2 :)

Hope you all enjoy - and be sure to tell me what you think!

~Voi

* * *

She had been having these strange 'episodes' for the past day.

Garrus had been watching her ever since and while he hadn't said anything there had been this lingering anxiety

Pushing up the sleeve to administer the Medigel, Garrus froze as his eyes recognized the small purple bruises dotting the inner elbow of his commander. He had thought they had overcome this problem already, that she had promised not to make stimulants – and then he realized with a sudden bitterness that she had never done such a thing.

Biting back a surge of anger, the large Turian willed himself to focus instead on the woman and not the fury coursing so hotly through his body, there would be a time of explanations but now was not the time. And so, taking no further time, Garrus gave the unconscious woman the Medigel she would need and then pushed her sleeve down so that those bruises were no longer in plain view.

It would seem that he was just in time, for no sooner had he sat her up that she groaned softly and stirred, her hands closing reflexively on his.

"Garrus?" Her voice was strained, her expression equally so.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…" A stab of pain made the human woman stop short, and with a small grimace she leaned back a little, "though not 100%."

"The Medigel should start working soon, give it a second."

"Commander?"

Wrexs' gruff voice was strictly business as it called her attention, "Citadel information has found Saren near the Council Chamber. We're going to need to get there _fast_ if we want to try and stop him."

Watching her expression fall into one of thoughtfulness, Garrus knew he was correct in his decision to avoid speaking of what he had found out. They would all need _her_ to be at her best if they were going to win this.

"You're sure he's there?" The phrase was really more a mental cataloging of information than an actual question; thus it went unanswered.

"Alright then, suit up and get ready – it's time we get this guy."

*******

"Watch out!!!"

Despite the fact that she was yelling at the top of her lungs, Nora could barely hear herself over the deafening explosions around her. Heavy turret fire rained down on them as they tried to make it back into the Citadel, having been forced to walk along its exterior after Saren had forcibly stopped the elevator they were using.

Judging by the amount of enemies they were encountering the human commander was more than willing to bet that they were close. Yet another world-rocking explosion forced her grit her teeth against the nausea it caused in her before wheeling around the corner to pump a full round into the cannon before tossing a grenade for good measure. The thing exploded before the grenade ever detonated.

Behind her she could hear the grunts of both her companions as they too removed another turret in a rain of heavy gun fire. Only one more to go and they would have a clear shot at the treacherous ex-Spectre who had eluded them for so long.

Barking out a few concise orders, Nora swapped out her shot gun for a exceptionally small grenade she had bough while at the citadel. 'Experimental' they had called it, Nora was going to see if it really would hold up in the sort of fighting she was handling.

And then she was on the move, dashing around the corner once more to shift from sprint to graceful roll in the second it took the turret to locate her and fire one super-heated bolt of energy. Another several feet disappeared between woman and machine as she got closer and closer…almost…

The explosion was so much larger than she had expected, more than she had been told. It nearly caused as much damage to her as it did to the now destroyed cannon, the only difference being that her shields had thankfully been in place. Still, they were successful in taking only the first brunt of the explosion, and part of her suit adhered to her skin as she turned to get away; melted by the sheer heat the small grenade had given off.

Half swearing in pain and the other in anger, the human woman ducked behind the corner where her two companions were waiting for her, at their feet the last geth trooper and the open door to the Council Chamber.

"You ok there Shepard?"

It was Wrex rather than Garrus to ask this time, the other busy pulling out a med-pack for her to use.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," her words were tense, and tinged with pain, a quick jab with the medigel would render her fit once more, "I'll give this burn a look once we're done with Saren."

The drug was administered in a few more seconds and they were on the move once again, climbing through the small porthole to finally emerge in the wide expanse of what had once been the council chambers. It was now little more than a hall of flames, brilliant scarlet that sent deep gray smoke into the air and reduced the once beautiful landscaping to little more than charred earth.

The human commander took a moment of silence to survey the damage, her large eyes flickering around, wary. It was an emotion that was mirrored in the eyes of her two companions, though they sought to suppress it.

A sudden glint of light off a liquid metallic surface is all the warning they receive, and their moment of silence is shattered in the ensuring fire fight; the tense mood punctuated with the murmuring of curses and grunts as the three fought back against the larger force.

And when at last the final geth trooper had fallen, the three surged forward for what would be the final time, their minds knowing what their eyes had not yet confirmed; Saren was just up ahead.

And he was, standing calmly in the extended walkway of the visitor platform, his intent on the Omni-board that rose several feet before him.

"Saren, step away from the board."

Positioned at the top of the stairs, Shepard had pulled her pistol out and had aimed it squarely at his head. Behind her both Wrex and Garrus had taken up secondary positions, all poised to fire the minute she gave the word.

However, it would seem that Saren had other ideas, for no sooner had she spoken that a small black disk came rocketing towards them – a small flashing light the only warning they had before it exploded.

Coughing and swearing under her breath, Nora ducked out from behind one of the large planters she had used as cover. She had managed to avoid the blast, but just barely. Garrus and Wrex had made it safely away as well, though by the irritated look on Wrexs' face she was willing to bet that they had gotten at least a little singed.

"I was afraid you would make it in time Shepard."

Despite the mild irritation in his voice, Nora found that Saren was still the master of controlling his emotions; his deep voice resonating in the farther corners of the monumental chamber only working to emphasize her observation.

"You've lost, you know that don't you?" The older turian gave the woman a pitying look, before turning to look out the vaulted window of the Council Chambers, "In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel systems. The relay will open and the Reapers will return."

Stepping out into the open the human commander just shook her head, refusing to believe him, refusing to give in.

"I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve Saren; we won't stop until we've won. I almost beat you on Virmire and I can finish it this time around. "

Her voice rang with conviction; she would _not_ allow the Reapers to destroy the united civilizations of the Citadel.

"You survived our encounter on Virmire," Saren shrugged as if to give her at least that much credit, "But I've changed since then…improved. Sovereign has…upgraded me."

A look of horror fixed itself firmly onto the woman's features, "You let sovereign implant you?" Disbelief brought her one step closer to where he was hovering, "Are you _insane?_"

There was a fine line between genius and insanity, she knew, but this was most certainly not the first despite how cunning the Turian ex-Spectre has shown in the past.

"I suppose I should thank you Shepard, after Virmire I couldn't stop thinking about what you said, about Sovereign manipulating me – about indoctrination. The doubts began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my hesitation – I was implanted to strengthen my resolve. Now my doubts are gone, I believe in Sovereign _completely_. I understand that the Reapers need organics, _join us_ and Sovereign will find a place for you too. Sovereign recognizes your value. You've _impressed_ it. Surrender to the Reapers and be spared. Join us and we can find a place for you.

This was so terribly wrong, so much worse than dealing with him on Virmire had been. At least he had _truly_ believed in what he was doing then…not being controlled.

"Sovereign's controlling you through your implants! Don't you see that?!" Her words were sharp enough to cut and the look in her eyes was equally so.

"The relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined a union of flesh and steel; the strength of both, the weakness of neither." Despite the conviction of his words, there was something in the flicker of his eyes that made Nora think otherwise. "I am a vision of the _future_, the evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!"

"Sovereign hasn't wont yet." The human woman took another step forward, putting her in his direct line of fire, unable to escape if he chose to attack her now, "I _can_ stop it from taking control of the station! Step aside and the invasion will never happen!"

His sudden reaction seemed almost as if she had branded him with hot iron, "We _can't _stop it! Not forever! _You saw the visions!_ You saw what happened to the Protheans!" His voice was a blend of denial and pain, "The Reapers are _too_ powerful."

"Some part of you must realize this is _wrong_; that this isn't how it is supposed to end. You _can_ fight this!" She took another step towards him, this time accompanied by Garrus' voice calling her back, tight with anxiety and warning. He was ignored.

"Don't do this Saren…don't give in."

The ensuing silence was deafening after the cacophony of battle they had just left. And when at last Saren spoke it was with halting uncertainly, a hesitant whisper, as if he questioned his ability to truly voice the small flicker hope in his mind.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe there is a chance for – _uhh_!" The sudden violent shuddering of his body bellied the pain on his face as he groaned in pain, taloned hands coming up quickly to clasp his head.

"Saren?" Her voice was concerned despite her sudden spike of suspicion, she was too close now to take chances.

"The implant…Sovereign is too strong," a quick glance at the human woman revealed the bitter smile that had fixed itself on his features, "I'm sorry…it's too late for me."

"It's not over yet, "The human woman locked eyes with the other, her mouth set in a grim line, "You can still redeem yourself!"

The ex-Spectre suddenly jerked forwards, moving to the edge of the hover-board, his hand moving towards the weapons holstered at his side.

"Shepard, step back."

Distantly Nora could hear Garrus barking at her, a sharp sound that jarred her nearly as much as seeing Saren get nearer. And while she struggled to focus on what was happening in front of her, eyes glued to the gun now firmly in Sarens' talon-hands, the sound of another weapon clicked in response.

_Garrus or Wrex?_

She turned then, for just the barest of seconds before realizing she shouldn't have.

And by the time Nora had whipped around to see what had happened the gun had fired, spraying the blood of the most decorated Spectre into the air.

_"Thank you Shepard."_

Saren had shot himself, and there was nothing she had done to stop him.

Suspended for a single moment before the muscles of his body gave out, Nora only had time to whisper his name before it plummeted downwards shattering through the glass as he fell to the gardens below.

Had they won then? Was it truly over?

The hollowness of such a victory made the woman frown; this was not how it was supposed to end. But it was, wasn't it…the end…

The sight of the body lying brokenly on the ground bellow seemed to solidify the thought.

_But then, what about Sovereign?_

The feeling of relief she should have felt was drowned out by her sudden realization that without Saren they no longer had any way of defeating Sovereign. Even if they did end up reversing the Citadel becoming a mass relay how much longer would they survive Sovereign…there was no way of telling…and so Nora did the only thing she could do. She pushed forward.

Omni-tool out and ready, Nora walked the full breath of the platform before coming directly in front of the Omni-board.

"I'm going to start uploading the file Virgil gave us." Her voice was confident despite the tension that ran through her, her shoulders tight with anxiety. She was never particularly skilled when it came to such techniques, but there was no time to think about such things – she _had_ to upload the file.

Minutes ticked by in tense succession, punctuated by an occasional curse or unintelligible murmur as Nora talked herself through each successive problem. And when at last she was able to download the program, with was with a half-shuttered sigh of relief.

"Vigil's data file worked. I've got control of the systems."

It was perhaps the best bit of news they had had thus far. At the prompting of both her crewmates she opened the arms of the citadel and opened the communications channel, hoping that somehow, someway she could contact someone, _anyone_, to help them defeat Sovereign.

The omni-tool in her hand crackled for a moment as it received the incoming signals and began to broadcast them to the three waiting silently in the Council Chamber.

_…Destiny Ascension…main drives offline…kinetic barriers down 40%...the Council is onboard, I repeat, the Council is onboard…_

So many messages, pleas for help, all of it weighing down on the small human woman. She had to _do_ something, Citadel forces were getting slaughtered.

_Normandy to the Citadel…_It was Joker's voice, Nora felt a shock of recognition before she fiddled with her Omni-tool trying to establish a connection between the two groups, _Normandy to the Citadel! Please tell me that's you Commander…_

A last quick tap of her fingers and a connection was established.

"I'm here Joker."

_We caught that distress call Commander. I'm here, sitting in the Andura Sector with the entire Arturus fleet. We can save the Ascension, just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in. _

Shepard opened her mouth to give the order but was stopped short as Wrex interrupted her, his large eyes glowing slightly in the half-dark of the Council Hall.

"You'd sacrifice human lives to save the council?" His voice was gruff as he stressed the tremendous loss of life they all knew would happen if the Alliance fleet got involved, "What have they ever done for your kind?"

As if reading her mind, Garrus spoke up, "This is bigger than humanity, Sovereigns a threat to every organic species in the galaxy! "

"That's why you can't throw away reinforcements to save the council." Wrex argued back, "Hold them back until the Citadel arms open up and the human fleet can go after Sovereign."

Despite her initial thought to send in the Alliance forces, Nora felt herself hesitate, Wrex certainly had a point.

_What's the order commander? Come in now to save the Ascension or hold back?_

Still, she could not allow the leaders of the Citadel, the leaders of the united free civilizations die, no matter what the cost. She would shoulder the burden of all the lost human life, but she would _not_ see the Council dead.

"Opening the relays now Joker, we need the Ascension" and unbidden her final words came out a whisper_, "no matter what the cost_."

Wrex looked at her for a moment before his large amphibious eyes turned outside to watch the Alliance ships drop out of slip-space and begin the attack, "I hope the Council appreciates this…"

_Alliance ships move in …save the Destiny Ascension _

The crackling of the transmission worked as a strange commentary to the chaos happening out in space. From the relative quiet in the Council Chambers, the three from the Normandy watched in relative fascination, sheltering a small hope that the Alliance would manage to protect the Council. It was hard to see of course, the arms of the Citadel were only just beginning to open, and the ships were fighting farther away than that, but despite the distance none inside could bring themselves to look away. Spots of brilliant light lit up the inky black of space as contact was made, and it wasn't until they heard the crackling of the Omni-tool once more that they realized what had happened.

_Destiny Ascension you are all clear, repeat, all clear…_

Another small victory in the otherwise large mission to stop the Reapers. Another breath of relief before the final plunge; they had to destroy Sovereign once and for all. Hopefully the remaining Alliance ships would be up to the task.

_The Citadel is opening…all ships move in, concentrate on Sovereign…_

And with that final transmission from the Alliance Nora turned to look at her two man team standing silently behind her. A quick nod towards Saren's prone body was all she needed to do in order to relay her message, but as the two turned to complete it she spoke the words anyway; needing some sort of vocal closure on the issue. She couldn't take any chances, not again.

"Make sure he's dead."

Not another word was spoken until after both Wrex and Garrus had arrived on the floor below, their bulky forms casting long shadows across Saren's prone body. And then loud cracking sound of a bullet shattered the silence.

"He's dead." Garrus' voice carried up to where his commander was standing, tinged with exhaustion and hope it was a combination that was no doubt reflected in the feelings of his companions.

There would be no more loose ends, and Nora had received the retribution she needed for Kaiden…but not Ashley. It would take the destruction of the Reaper to accomplish _that_.

No sooner had Commander Shepard given voice to that thought when the Citadel began to shudder violently, the floor rolling and bucking as if it had become some great beast. Lightning, deep red and scarlet raced along the walls throughout the chamber, crackling loudly as it collected on the floor beneath Shepard feet, pooling around the corpse of the most infamous Spectre in Citadel history; a Spectre who had found redemption in the words of the one woman who had sworn vengeance. A woman who still demanded it from the strange metallic creations called Reapers; reapers who would turn the known universe to oblivion.

But first…the Citadel.

An explosion ripped through the Citadel, tearing through the plascrete interior, bringing down walls as floors collapsed onto one another, throwing the human commander to the ground below. Around her chaos reigned as large parts of walls and ceilings continued to fall, the scarlet lightening continuing to wreak havoc for a few moments more.

And then it was gone, disappearing as fast as it had arrived.

Lungs half-choked with dust, Nora touched the front of her suit and managed to divert some clean oxygen to her lungs by way of her helmet. It might not have been necessary, but Nora couldn't take any chances…Sovereign was up to something.

Sending out a small signal flare to her two companions, the human commander was relieved to find that they were both ok, perhaps a bit battered due to their close proximity to the explosions, but otherwise ok.

But such relief was short lived; for no sooner had she managed to locate the two when her eyes felt on _it._

A mass of scarlet lightening-flames, it might have once been the creature known as Saren, but now…Nora shuddered as she looked what had been done to his corpse. Cold purple circuitry had replaced all that had once carried life-blood, and where once skin had covered now muscle hung unmasked sticking to bone and circuit alike. A monster, a true fusion of organic and machine…a _husk_.

Staggering and screeching, this Saren-husk shuddered violently as it slowly rose to its feet, head swiveling around wildly as the red finished manifesting itself in the almost demonic glow of its eyes. It was looking _straight at her_.

"Shepard?"

A shock rippled through her as she heard her name, had _that thing_ just? The weight of a hand on her shoulder made her recoil in shock.

"Shepard it's us."

A glimpse of familiar blue and yellow were all she needed to recognize her companions, they had moved to her location much faster than she had anticipated.

"Course of action?"

The look on Wrex' face clearly reflected his desire to get started.

"Keep under cover and fire when you're clear. We don't know what this thing is capable of, and by the looks of it it's going to be tough…"

No sooner had she finished when a trio of brilliant red energy beams came flying at them, sizzling the air behind them.

And then the fight was on. An exchange of power quite unlike any other situation they had ever fought in before.

_I am Sovereign…and this station is mine…_

A hail of gunfire from Wrex, a barrage from Garrus, around her the world suddenly seemed to accelerate, a confusion of brilliant scarlet and silver gun fire that exploded that air around them.

Maneuvering around a broken support column, the human woman waited as the Saren-husk crawled along the walls opposite of her before turning the corner to pump a full round from her shot gun into one of its legs; the circuits crackling as they took the damage.

In response, the Saren-husk sent another wave of scarlet energy towards the human woman, destroying the cover she had long since hidden behind.

Having been the focus of all the attacks before, the Saren-husk had been smart enough to start tracking all three of them, but had seemed to pay special attention to her.

Another volley of brilliant scarlet energy hit her before she could get out of the way, disintegrated the barricade Shepard had placed around herself, burning through the mass-effect field until it smashed into the shoulder of her suit. The suit melted and sloughed away leaving purple and red welts that cracked and bled even before the burning sensation registered. And when I did, the nausea and sheer level of pain nearly made her double over, the world swimming as she dropped to her knees in agony.

Around her the world had been reduced to a series of unintelligible blurs and shadows.

And then rough scaly hands were on her shoulders, pulling her backwards, shielding her smaller body while another familiar voice promised to provide the cover for the other two; large bulky figures that rose around her like the walls.

Keeping her safe despite the danger just beyond them.

_Outside, the battle raged on as Alliance ships continued their assault on the Reaper, bombarding it with a never ending onslaught of high energy rounds and whatever else they could manage while fending off the lingering geth forces. _

_Their victory over the geth was almost guaranteed, but with Sovereign so firmly connected to the Citadel there was little to celebrate. Indeed, it was made all the worse when Sovereign began to fight back, denying any damage to itself by means of shield while slicing through several warships with each neat beam of ruby laser. They were running out of time._

The familiar cooling presence of the Medi-gel in her system should have helped the burning sensation that had nearly numbed half of her body; but it hadn't. Such things should have worried her, but there was no more time, because Sovereign was there; was attacking them.

In the background Nora's still functioning Omni-tool broadcast the space battle in the air, _Sovereign's too strong – we have to pull back._

Wrex slammed against the wall with enough force to create a Krogan-sized dent in the plascrete and slid to the floor unconscious, thick blood oozing from a jagged burn along his forehead. A few feet away Garrus was busy injecting himself with yet another medi-gel pack as he ducked behind the last remaining column, his commander weaving in and out as she continued to track the abomination that crawled on the ceiling.

It had slowed down, a testament to their efforts, but then so had they. And now they were one man down.

"Shepard, you holding up ok?"

The woman couldn't even spare her companion a glance, but responded as she tucked and rolled away from the sharp claws the Saren-husk has swung at her.

"I'm…fine," A hurried lie to make him feel better, "You?"

"I'm…" he trailed off as his finger closed around the trigger of his assault rifle, "fine."

_Admiral, we've lost the Beta and Gamma Fleets – we won't last much longer._

One second, she had looked away for one second…and now…

She was alone.

Garrus had got shot because she had been sloppy one too many times, and he had gone down instead of her.

The realization was chokingly painful, an almost physical ache added to the suffering of her already battered body.

Her eyes may have long since returned to focus on the Saren-creature but in her minds-eye she could still his body was there on the ground, motionless in the ever growing puddle of his own blood.

_He had died._

And _that_ was enough to push Shepard to the edge.

_Admiral, we have to pull back now!_

_Negative, this is our only chance; take that monster down no matter what the cost. _

Feeling the muscles in her damaged shoulder shudder in protest, the human woman lifted herself to her feet, and gritting against the pain that arched up her shins.

Moving, half stumbling, and half running as she burst from cover casting a series of barriers on herself while repeatedly casting stasis, again and again and again until she was entirely drained of her ability to cast anymore. But it was enough, more than enough.

Wrex and Garrus had helped her in these final moments, slowing him down enough so that she could cast her Biotics with such accuracy.

And then she was there, firing a volley of shots into its legs, tearing away the very last ligaments-like circuits, and rendering him immobile. Booted feet pinned the now-useless appendages to the ground, her eyes serious as she deliver a brutal kick to his stomach; losing her control in the process.

"Stay still."

But of course the Saren-husk didn't, and so she continued to abuse it. Again and again, until she was on her hands and knees just beating it with all the strength she could draw from her body. Hit it until her gloved hands were nearly broken with the force of her attack, until the butt of her shotgun no longer did as much damage as she wanted. And yet she continued, she would have her vengeance, and she would make it pay for all the pain, for all the agony.

And when at last she couldn't even raise her fists, Shepard shoved the front of her shotgun in the middle of the Saren-husks forehead, firing the three shots that snapped the air like the lightening itself.

Then she was alone, one human woman leaning wearily over a body that was quickly disintegrating to black ash, listening as over the Omni tool Alliance forces realized that Sovereign was no longer shielding itself.

And that was good right?

The sorrow she felt rooted itself deeply in her chest, was she forever going to be known as the 'survivor,' going to be plagued by the fact that every person she ever loved or cared about was going to die?

The tears came then, in much the way they had on Virmire; unbidden and honest as they stung her cheeks, allowing her to mourn without having to say a thing.

And then there was a voice calling her name, tired but worried as it echoed through the empty gardens where she sat motionless.

"Shepard?" The talon on her shoulder was gentle, almost probing as it finally made contact with the bare skin there, "Shepard…Are you ok?"

She was trembling, almost unwilling to look up at him, afraid to should it be nothing more than a silly sort of waking-dream.

He had _died,_ hadn't he?

"Does she look ok to you?" From behind both of the Wrex' voice was petulant; cutting through her haze of emotion with sheer strength of surprise "What did you expect after what we went through? She's not exactly the best armored out of the three of us. She is _human_ after all."

Her pain gave way to surprise, surprise to knee-weakening relief; they were truly here weren't they? They were _alive_.

"So…what are the next plans for us Shepard?" Wrex again, though his tone was considerably gentler than before.

"Shall we attempt to find a means of contacting the Alliance?" It was Garrus this time, "That Omni-tool is still somewhere up there."

Neither mentioned the tears that streaked through the dust on her face.

"Let's go take a look at what's going on outside, _then_ we'll contact the Alliance."

Despite the severity of her wounds, and her intense emotional fatigue their commander managed a small exhausted smile that bespoke of her contentment.

And then she was on her feet, the human woman staggering towards the battered but still useful stairwell connecting the two levels of the Council Chamber. It was only when the clawed hand on her shoulder tightened gently to stop her that she did so, her large blue-purple eyes confused.

"Garrus?"

"You shouldn't be pushing yourself," the turians' voice was rough with emotion though his words were barely more than whispers.

Another smile, this one softer, more intimate, "It's…not that bad." She stifled a wince as she moved her shoulder, "I can make it up the stairs Garrus. I'm not made of glass."

"Compared to both of us you are," Again Wrex surprised them, though his face gave nothing away, "Hurry up and bring her along Vakarian, she's just going to slow us down if we let her walk… _Humans_ always thinking they're invincible…"

And away the Krogan went, moving slowly up the stairs as he continued to grumble quietly to himself, leaving the Nora to the one who cared most for her. The one who, when they were finally alone, collected her in his arms and picked her up, cradling her close, face pressed to the top of her head. An expression that was reciprocated when she tilted her face upwards to look him in the eye, her face open, her emotions equally so.

_He was alive._

_She was safe_.

"Let's get you up there, Nora."

And then he was moving, a smooth but measured pace that brought them back into the dimly lit chamber hall in a matter of seconds. Outside the space battle raged on, but it was clear that the Alliance forces were close to victory.

Lowering the tiny human woman back down to the ground, Garrus watched and waited as his love struggled to stand firmly on both her legs; providing what help he could before letting her go. He wanted so desperately to keep her in his arms, to keep her close, but he would need to be unhindered if he was to find anything to staunch the bleeding of her shoulder and other wounds. They had run out of Medi-gel so he was going to have to be creative.

However, no sooner had he turned to look around when a sudden flash of light drew the attention of all three to the large central window in the Council Chamber. It was the Normandy.

Slim and beautifully sleek amidst the larger more dominant forms of the Alliance forces, the Normandy shot high above the others until it was framed only by the stars in the distance, suspended for that breathless moment. Then it was gone, and it was only when Sovereign exploded in a ball of brilliant red and orange that anyone realized the Normandy was gone from where it once was.

And then it all sunk it - They had _won_.

The wave of emotion that hit the human commander as she watched the fireball outside nearly made her stumble once more. It was over, and with it all the agony she had felt after failing Ashley so miserably, she was free.

"It's over."

Standing just in front of her, Garrus spoke the words that had hung in the minds of all three members and looking over his shoulder, sent her a look that though tired, was one of contentment.

They would have time to be with each other now; if just for the short time it took to rebuild the Citadel. Smiling, Nora was about to voice her equal appreciation of the fact, but was stop short, her eyes flickering upwards as the light caught the metallic surface of some strange shape.

She had known it was too good to be true.

It was one of the legs from Sovereigns' scorched husk, and it was coming _straight_ towards them; the thick glass of the chamber splintering in the seconds it took her to realize what was happening.

And then, words were not enough, action far louder than anything she could scream. And yet she still did, even as she used the last ounce of biotic power to push her two companions out of the way, leaving none for herself; trapped in the body that could no longer respond.

And with her final plea she disappeared under the avalanche of debris, leaving Garrus to watch in horror as Sovereign _finally_ managed to bring the universe, his universe, crashing down around him.

*******

_How long had they been sitting like that? How many hours had passed without a sound, without even a hint of life?_

Garrus could scarcely bring himself to move about the small space they were trapped in, not because his injuries were so cripplingly severe, but because he couldn't stop replaying the same words in his head afraid to stop because it was all he had of her now.

_She had died. _

_She had died._

_She had died._

Not even his attempt at finding her through their bond had yielded anything outside of emptiness. He had held her in his arms just minutes before and now…

She truly was gone.

It felt as if the entire Citadel had just crumbled away, leaving only the icy cold of space to wrap around him and though the wounds on his body ached they were nothing compared to the void that was supplanted so securely in his chest.

She had been standing before him not moments after defeating Sovereign, her eyes bright with their victory, the realization that at last they had defeated the Reaper that had so threatened their people. And he had watched as that joy had turned to horror as she recognized their impending destruction, realizing only too late that she meant to sacrifice herself to keep them safe.

He should have known she would put them before herself, should have recognized the desperate but unmistakably tender look on her face when she looked at him and finally spoke the worlds that always been understood but never spoken.

_I love you_.

She had known she would not survive that final moment of Sovereign's collapse.

"Just my luck…" Behind him the Krogan who had been his crewmate for the better part of the past year had turned to look at him with his large amphibian-like eyes, "…it's you."

Had it been any other time Garrus was sure he could have mustered a decent comeback, but now he could do little more than return the stare.

"Not in the mood for a fight are you?" Wrexs' gruff voice seemed smug, "Just as well since we don't exactly have the room, and I sure as hell don't want to have to explain to the Commander why you-"

"The Commander is dead."

The words escaped Garrus's mouth before he quite knew what he was doing, and the bitterness of the sentence revealed more than he had ever hoped to share with anyone, except _her_.

Indeed, it seemed to have startled even Wrex, for it was several moments more before he managed to respond.

"You're sure?"

Garrus didn't bother responding…and the silence became unbroken for at least a few more painful seconds before it was interrupted once more by the excited voices of alliance and citadel forces as they discovered the two alien warriors trapped beneath the rubble.

"Captain Anderson, we've found them! They're in here!"

And then they were out of the rubble, being carefully extracted as the Captain tried to reassure them, gesturing to the awaiting medic team while his eyes continued to search the rubble for the one person they all wished had been buried with them.

"Take it easy, it's over, you're safe now." Dark eyes continued to rove around the destruction for a moment longer before they turned to meet the grief dulled blue of the Turian Agent who stood just a little ways away.

"Where's the Commander?" The words were a hushed, as if he didn't truly want the answer to his question.

Instead of answering Garrus just looked away unable to put into words the truth that reality had so cruelly decided upon. His entire body burned in agony, his heart frozen with the pain of such a terrible loss, and yet he still couldn't believe he was alive. _That_ was the worst of it; _living_ and breathing despite the fact that her breath had long since stilled, unable to die because this _life_ was her final gift to him.

Feeling his chest tighten with emotion, the Turian fought the emotion was he limped slowly away from the wreckage that marked the remains of every good feeling he had experienced with her. And so, without another look, unable to bring himself to even glance at her final resting place he turned to the awaiting medic and accepted treatment, sighing in bitter relief as he faded from consciousness.

*******

_I'll see you later, Alenko…_

Shepard?

She was there, just out of reach…getting farther away…

_See if we can't pull him out of it now Doctor…everything looks stable…_

_But will he be ok after he finds out about-_

Where was she?

He had heard her voice just a second ago…he called her name again…

_Did he just?!_

_That doesn't matter right now; if he's able to talk then we have to pull him out now!_

_Yes, I understand – let's commence the operation…_

And then the world was live with color once more, blurry but there, close enough to reach – he opened his eyes.

"Oh thank the Goddess, Kaiden!"

Above him the familiar face of the Asari researcher sharpened into focus, her expression a mixture of happiness and exhaustion.

"Liara?"

"I'm so glad to have you back with us," she patted his hand before turning back to the various medical equipment, "You've been out for about three weeks…" and then she told him about what he had missed, up until the final fight with Sovereign.

"So then…" The human Lieutenant could hardly fathom what was going on, "Sovereign is defeated?"

Liara could only nod quietly, her face smiling but still troubled.

"Liara?" Kaiden could hear the warning in his voice, "What happened? What aren't you telling me?"

He paused a moment before deciding that a change in topic would probably illicit more of a response. It was perhaps his gravest error.

"Where's the Commander?"

He had heard her voice as he had slept, had heard it though it had seemed centuries since then; he needed to talk to her, to thank her as he had Liara.

But upon asking his question the room suddenly fell silent and the world froze for a single, endless moment. And then everything began anew, as if the machine driving the universe forward had stalled for a moment only to fix itself a second later.

"Liara?"

Looking at the Asari doctor for some sort of confirmation all Kaiden saw was the shadow of pain cross her face, something had quite obviously happened to the other woman and it was not good.

"The Commander is dead."

His answer came from the Turian who had just appeared in the doorway.

_Garrus…_

Had the worlds been spoken any softer Kaiden was sure it would still have hit him with all the strength of an Alliance nuke. And yet, had they been spoken by anyone other than the Turian standing so silently in the doorway Kaiden wasn't so sure he would have believed them. As it was, such a declaration left the human Lieutenant in almost incomprehensible shock and such a gut wrenching denial that he could barely voice his next question.

_"You're sure?" _It was more a strangled whisper really but Kaiden doubted anyone else cared.

"I was there Lieutenant," the voice that responded was almost too cold and unfeeling for the human man to believe this was still the Turian he had served with all those long months, "I watched as Sovereigns' leg fell down _onto_ her."

For a moment Kaiden thought he saw a flicker of pain in his companion's eyes but dismissed it as the Turian continued. She had no means of protecting herself, and she was in no position to run either…"

Garrus shifted once more before, looking uncomfortable before continuing, "Alliance forces are still searching the wreckage and what remains of the Council Chamber, but now it seems there might not even be…a body to find."

"No…_body_?"

Kaiden could barely get the words past his lips, he felt almost entirely numb.

Garrus broke eye contact and shifted his weight once more; "She was _crushed_ under there…I…" the turian broke off again, unable to continue.

Kaiden could only nod dumbly as he took in the information, still too stunned to truly understand what had happened, it was all going by so fast – the knowledge that nearly three weeks had passed since he had first lost consciousness on Virmire, that Sovereign had been stopped, that his Commander was _dead_.

"I should go report to Captain Anderson that you are conscious once more," Garrus turned to leave, "Is there any message you wish for me to pass on?"

"No, that will be alright Garrus. Thank you."

The Turian just nodded silently before exiting the ward, walking quietly towards C-Sec headquarters to deliver his message, unwilling to acknowledge the slight trembling of his hands as he forced himself to move forward.

_She would have been happy to know that Kaiden was better, that she had succeeded in protecting him the terrors of Virmire. She would have wanted the two of them to become better acquainted, would have wanted…_

The sharp pain his chest reminded him once again while he had forced himself to stop thinking about her…_He hadn't had time to tell he he felt the same…that he loved her…_

That knowledge alone was nearly debilitating even after he confronted the thought and a part of him so desperately wished that he could have stopped living the moment she had.

The hours had passed with the painful agony, a great expanse of time that felt more akin to centuries. Unable to forget about her but unwilling to join the search parties picking through the wreckage Garrus had thrown himself into aiding communications around the Citadel. There was a lot of work, repairing to be done and adjustments had to be made with the Citadel so badly crippled. And yet, Garrus couldn't stop thinking about her, or face the part of him that trembled in terror at the thought of them finding her body. _He wouldn't be able to stand it…wouldn't be able to bear living after seeing her… _

The appearance of Captain Anderson in the hallway stopped him short; he was still a good distance from the temporary head quarters, had the captain been looking for him?

"Garrus, we need to talk to you."The Turian inclined his head only slightly unsure as to what it was the Captain was trying to say, "There's something you need to see."

"Captain?"

The older man shifted uncomfortably for a moment before moving to pat the turian on the arm in condolence.

"We've found her."

He didn't have to say who…the shattering sound he heard from deep in his chest was enough of tell him to whom the captain was referring. And that, Garrus decided, was when he was sure he _had_ died.


	13. Chapter 13: Return to the Stars

AN: So here it is...wow, the FINAL chapter of Vulnerability...hahaha, part of me can't believe I actually did make it to the end. It's a very special feeling. And so, I'd like to take just a couple lines and say THANK YOU to each and every person who has read this story whether you were right there from the beginning or you came some time during the process (or even if you're just getting into this world now and months have passed since this final ode). It was through the support of all you, my faithful readers/viewer and re-viewers :) who made me keep writing. It has been a distinct pleasure and I hope to be able to write for this universe again some time...though WHEN exactly might be quite the question :)

To all of you out there who are fellow writers - good luck, have fun, do your best!!!

As for this chapter itself...well, I promise it's rather dramatic :) Tell me what you think, send me a message, write a review...or don't :) That's fine too. Thanks again and see ya later!

* * *

"I'm going to need another quart of plasma here!"

"Get me another tray of those…"

"I'm going to need another person here stat!"

The inside of the Medical Ward was chaos. Doctors, more than Garrus had seen in a very long time, ran from bed to bed checking the patients who lay there in varying states of injury. The air was a sickening mix of antiseptic cleaner and blood, the room awash more in red than anything else.

A war zone though nearly all of its victims were Citadel civilians.

Except one, the one over whom nearly four doctors were frantically working, surgical masks on their faces, their shoulders tight with concentration.

"She…"

Garrus refused to step any closer, unwilling to hope, unable to even look at the body on that table before he got more information.

"She isn't dead yet…" The words were barely whispered, almost as if they were afraid that they might somehow change the current situation for the worse.

_But she is dying…_

Garrus felt himself choke at what was left unsaid. She had been alive for this entire time…and had been suffering, been waiting for someone to find her, and he hadn't even tried. Had been too much of a coward…

He had failed her when she needed him the most.

"She wouldn't blame you," as if reading his thoughts, Captain Anderson put a hand on the Turians' shoulder and patted gently, "She would have understood."

Yes, s_he would have_. Garrus couldn't decide if that didn't make it worse, it certainly felt like it.

The air was suddenly filled by a sudden shrill screams of agony, twisting and pinching the air in the room as the terrible noise overrode all other sound in the room. It sounded as if something was dying…

…and _she_ was. She was the one screaming so terribly in pain, her body arched off the table in great shudders of agony. The first scream brought Garrus to look at her; the second forced him forward in a desperate need to be with her, his vision narrowing until _she_ was the only thing he could see.

"Garrus."

The hand that had once patted him in comfort now closed on his shoulder in a grip that was clearly meant to restrain. Silly really since the turian was at least twice as strong as any human. And yet, as Garrus made to shrug it off, only half aware of what was going on, the hand on his shoulder tightened.

"Garrus."

It was a struggle to turn to look at the person who had stopped him and not want to do something uncharacteristically violent; he didn't have time to talk, she was _screaming_. But as fate would have it, the hand belonged to none other than Captain Anderson, and by the look on his face he expected that he be listened to.

"Garrus."

The blue eyed turian couldn't remember how many times he had heard his name in the past minute but didn't say anything, to tight with emotion to do anything but listen.

"You need to get out of here."

The words felt as if Nora herself had leveled her shotgun with his chest and shot him clean through.

_What was that?_

"It's nothing against you Vakarian," Anderson quickly amended sensing that he had some sort of part to play in the Turians' growing turmoil, "But there's not enough room here to move around as it is. I just talked to the head nurse, and she said she needed both of us out of here."

A quick glance at the human woman showed she was still convulsing, shuddering sharply as the nurses frantically tried to solve whatever was wrong.

"If she's going to die I want to be here." Garrus's voice was a horse whisper, tight with pain, "I won't leave her…not again."

Captain could only nod before scanning the crowded the room.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do."

*******

_Was that broken body really a living, breathing human being?_

Looking down at the now still figure being held so carefully in an induced coma it was the only thought that managed to surface in his mind, the only thing he could manage.

_To think that they had managed to stabilize her this much…_

It had been at least ten hours since he had first walked into the medical ward, ten agonizing hours that seemed to stretch on for a lifetime. And yet, in those hours _she_ had been brought away from the brink of death, just barely saved by the miracles of medicine. Still…he wondered at what cost.

The nurse had made it very clear to him that it could take _months_ if not several _years _to recover, and with the Reaper threat still looming overhead it seemed unlikely that Nora would take that news positively. And she would be frustrated because, according to the doctor, the damage to her legs was considerable, to the point where her ability to walk was still uncertain.

The worst part was that even now, as she slept soundly on the sterile medical cot, the nurses were still struggling to mend her body, forced to put the commander in a coma so as not to cause any more damage during the healing process that would surely harm the body further.

They promised to bring her around in the next day or so.

_Would he be able to wait that long? _

_Would he have the strength to tell her how much saving her comrades had cost her?_

Finding that the second question bothered him much more than he would have liked, the Turian stepped away from the bed eyes lingering for a moment on his commander's pale but serene face.

_He had to know he could be truthful with her, he couldn't promise that right now._

And so, without a word the Turian turned away from the chaos and walked quietly out of the room, unable to do anything but hope she could be completely healed.

He didn't want to think of the alternative.

*******

Days passed in quick succession, blending together in a haze of noise, silence and the awful feeling of loss.

The Citadel had taken terrible damage in the fight with Sovereign and the number of casualties just continued to increase as day by day more bodies were discovered. Most of them were civilians.

_It was always the innocent ones wasn't it?_

Having missed the final climactic battle Kaiden felt distinctly out of place, as if he had stepped out of a time machine and lacked all of the emotional and physical traits needed to exist here. Not that he was entirely immune; the shock of Ashleys' death was still fresh, as was the revelation that his commander was neither missing nor dead.

But he needed someone he could talk to, someone to ground him and take away this disconcerting feeling of 'floating' that made him feel so removed from everyone else. And so he found himself seated next to the sleeping form of his commander, his hands clasped tightly into fists as he started to talk.

_He knew she would understand…_

*******

She looked so small, vulnerable on the medical cot, washed out and so terribly pale Garrus half wondered if she really had been pulled out of the coma. They had kept her there for longer than they had initially told him, as a safety precaution. She was so incredibly fragile, anything could have gone wrong, and they weren't sure her body could take much more. But now…they had said she should be regaining consciousness soon.

_What exactly did 'soon' mean?_

Uncertainty flooded the turian as he slowly allowed himself to walk into the room, to stand at the end of her bed, looking at her in the dim half-light.

_Had they _really_ managed to save her?_

The arms that lay above the pristine bed covers were both heavily wrapped in bandages, stained pink in some places where the blood had soaked through. Above the bandages on her fore-arms angry red scars crisscrossed the bare skin and though her face was also partially obscured by an excessive amount medical tape, the purple swelling of her many bruises colored her otherwise recognizable face.

_"Nora..."_

His voice was nothing more than a strained whisper as his brilliant blue eyes took her in.

He wanted to touch her, to hold her in his arms once more. He wanted to know that she was alive, and that this wasn't a cruel dream in which he would be forced to wake up the moment her eyes opened; forced to face a reality in which she had died.

A shuddering hitched breath escaped his lips; he wouldn't be able to survive that. Not after everything else. He may have been strong once, might have been able to keep her and his feelings at a distance, but not anymore. He couldn't, and what was more, he _wouldn't_.

The sound of her coughing brought him out of his reverie followed quickly by the labored breathing that illustrated the stress even the smallest actions had on this tiny human woman.

"Nora?"

Another whisper, this one just as desperately hopeful as he knew he was feeling. Would she open her eyes? Just once, just once he wanted her to open her eyes and look at him to tell him that she really was alive.

The sudden hitch in her breathing caught his attention as he once more turned to stare intently at her pale face. Only to find his voice catch in his throat, unable to utter a syllable as a pair of familiar purple-blue eyes fluttered open.

_Nora!_

Eyes dull with exhaustion and the haze of medication Garrus knew instinctually that she wouldn't be able to recognize him. Taking a step towards her, he settled by her side, watching in silence as her eyes traced his path across the room before turning upwards to look him in the face once more. _Did she even know who he was?_

The blank look her face scared him.

A thousand things could have happened when trying to save her, was memory loss one of them?

_Had something made her forget him?_

But as her hand touched his and her mouth smoothed into a trembling smile he knew that she hadn' more than a soft brush of skin to smooth scale, the touch was tentative but longing as it drifted from his wrist to curved talons, as if memorizing the feel of something once familiar. It made him tremble though he refused to admit it. And when at last she stopped, unable keep her eyes open any longer, she chose to lean against him instead of her bed, falling asleep in the warmth of his embrace.

_"Garrus…"  
_And when he was sure she had truly fallen asleep he allowed himself to cry.

_She was alive…_

*******

"Hey there, Sunshine."

Having been confined to her bed 'until further orders' Nora Shepard could only scowl at the sight of her smiling Lieutenant, "You are one lucky bastard Alenko."

"Who me?" The dark haired man gave her a grin that told her he knew _exactly_ what she was talking about.

His commander just huffed for a moment before the corners of her mouth turned up into the telltale signs of a smile.

"Are you feeling better then?"

Kaiden settled into the chair beside her bed as he thought about her question, settling in his customary position, arms crossed lazily over his stomach, one leg propped on the other.

"I suppose so." Kaiden said with an easy shrug that bellied the relief from tension he had been feeling, "How about you?"

"I…" The Lieutenant could tell by the look on her face that his Commander was deciding how exactly to voice something that was bothering her, "I'm…ok?"

"Was that a question I was supposed to answer?" Kaiden joked despite the slight frown that had come to settle on Noras' face once more.

"Shepard, answer honestly, what's wrong?"

The human woman just looked down at her hands before shaking her head, "I-it's nothing…just a silly girly worry."

"A 'girly' worry?" Kaiden raised an eyebrow in surprise, "Well hell, you're a woman too Shepard, what's wrong with worrying?"

"Nothing I guess…" Nora tilted her head so that she could look at her Lieutenant, "But it feels unnatural to _tell_ anyone."

"Is it because I'm a guy?" Kaiden guessed, "Because I could always go get Liara or someone more _female_ for you."

A wry smile, "Liara isn't technically a woman Alenko; she just _looks_ like one."

_Oh yeah…_

Feeling slightly foolish, Kaiden just laughed before returning to the issue at hand, "Well then, what about Doctor Chakwas?"

Another shake of the head, "We're not that close."

"Well then what about…"

"It's about Garrus…" the words were barely more than a whisper, pained in a way Kaiden was sure he hadn't heard since Ashleys' death.

Looking up his Commander, this time taking careful inventory of her vulnerable posture, the way her too-thin hands twisted the bed sheets in her hands and wounded expression, Kaiden felt himself become increasingly protective.

He had suspected something when he had first woken from the coma, and as the weeks had gone on he had become increasingly sure that there was _something_ between his Commander and the stoic Turian that remained by her side. Of course, the idea of a relationship between the two left him baffled, but who was he to judge?

If, however, it turned out that Garrus was _hurting_ her…well then…the turian would have to deal with _him_.

And so Kaiden frowned, his hand gently reaching out pat one of her own.

"What about him?"

*******

Garrus had just emerged from C-sec and was heading to take a look at Nora when he found himself cornered by one _very_ upset human Lieutenant.

"Lieutenant Alenko?"

The dark look on the human mans' face confused him, and admittedly a tad weary, _what had happened?_

"Mind telling me why you've been avoiding Nora for the past _two months_?" The words were dangerously soft in volume, conveying the sense of barely leashed anger.

"Avoiding?" Garrus felt himself flounder, "I've been to see Nora - I mean, Commander Shepard, every day since she's regained consciousness…"

"You know what I mean!" Kaidens' lips now twisted into a scowl, eyes lit with rage, "Why have you avoided touching her hand, holding her close – giving her a hug?!"

Garrus could scarcely make sense of what was being said, _what had happened?_

"We _all_ have done a little bit of comforting ever since she's woken up, to make her feel better, to reassure her that we're still here for her. Hell, even _Wrex_ has managed a pat on her head and you know how he is!!!"

A hand had come up to point accusingly at the turian, "But _not_ you – not since she's gotten better. You won't even bring yourself to touch her in the slightest…_you_ of all people, the person _everyone_ knows she cares about the most!!!"

A bitterness Garrus didn't realize he had possessed suddenly caught in his throat, near choking him.

"What sort of excuse do you have huh?!" Kaiden was all but yelling at him now, though thankfully the hall in which they were standing was entirely empty, "Do you know what you've done to her?! "

Dark eyes pinned the turian down with their accusatory gaze, "I saw her _cry_ today… for the _first_ time…and it's because you and that fact that you're a heartless b-"

Garrus felt himself drown in the sea of accusations, drowning and drowning…until Kaiden mentioned how she had _cried_.

"It's not that I _won't_…" Garrus' voice was rough with anger, and bitterness, "…It's that I _can't._"

_Can't_, it hurt to admit, hurt to give voice to the memory that had haunted for him for two long months, have left him with nightmares at night.

"You can't?!" Kaiden didn't buy it, "What do you mean, you _can't? You can't bring yourself to touch her? What sort of retarded-_"

"It was the night they pulled her out of the coma…took her off that particular medicine to let her start to heal naturally." Garrus had turned to look at the floor, unable to continue looking at the human man for fear of losing the nerve to tell the whole story.

"I had gone to visit her, because the doctors said that she would be waking up soon, and I wanted to be there when she did. And I was. I was there when she woke up and I got to be there to see her smile. But…" Garrus hesitated for a moment, gathering what strength he could leaning against the wall as he was.

"The next day…I went to visit her, but there was a slight problem. The nurses told me that she must have hit her arm on something or fallen down, because there were bruises all over her arms and side."

Suddenly looking up, eyes that of one long haunted, "_I had held her close to me that entire night,_ and when I finally saw her, the bruises on her arms were in the shape of _my_ _hands," _the words were half choked_, "_…_I hurt her._ I can't bring myself to touch her again know that…"

Unable to continue any longer, the turian lapsed into silence, shuddering in self revulsion, sure that the human man would be yelling at him in a second more.

Instead, all he heard was a heavy sigh, accompanied by the telltale sound of the Lieutenant slumping against the opposite wall.

"Does the Commander know that that's why you've been avoiding her?" the voice was soft, though no longer enraged, rather, it sounded _thoughtful_.

"No…she doesn't know."

"Then I suggest you tell her soon…because I don't want to see her cry anymore…"

*******

"I'm not sure I should be using Biotics so soon Alenko," Commander Shepards' voice sounded worried, as it filtered the brightly lit medical ward.

"Why not?!" Kaiden spoke with a voice that was all about practicality, "It'll be fun to get back into the swing of things, and because Biotics require you work with your nervous system this might actually help. We won't be casting any biotic fields or anything. Just some of that stuff you taught me back when we first met on the Normandy."

The woman looked tentative but nodded her head in agreement a small smile, "Alright then, I'll start?"

*******

Nora fell back against her bed and sighed contentedly, she was _exhausted_ but happier than she had been in a while. Working with Kaiden in the afternoon had been blessedly absorbing of her energy, time and worries; she'd have to ask him to come back again in a day or so. She wanted to recover as fast as possible, she had not forgotten her mission; the Reapers were still out there.

Sighing to herself, she carefully turned herself on her side and looked out the window of her room, taking in the expanse of space that lay before her.

_It was all so beautiful._

The sound of the door sliding open did little to move Nora from her now-comfortable position in her bed.

Soft footfalls, familiar in their rhythm and sound; had she not been so tired, Nora was sure she would have turned around to see who it was. As it was, her eyes had just fluttered closed when she felt the soft material of her blanket settle around her shoulders and a single taloned finger brush lightly against her temple, hesitant but there all the same.

"Goodnight Nora."

*******

Had space been anything been like Earth, Nora was sure she would have woken up the moment the sun had appeared on the horizon. She had always been an early riser though more a force of habit than any sort of desire to experience a full day. But because this was the Citadel, and the damage caused to this floating city had rendered the artificial weather systems useless, Nora found herself being awoken more by loud noise, though around Medical Ward this was increasingly rare.

However, it would seem that today of all days was to be one of those particular days, for outside the voices of two familiar voices had started argue; and she was now wide awake.

*******

He should have seen this coming; the human Ambassador always came at the most inopportune moments, and with the most illogical ideas of what should be done in any situation.

_Where would the sentient life be right now if they had let this man stop them from fighting the Reapers?_

Garrus knew the answer to that one, _extinct._

And that was why it only took one hint, one word that suggested that this _being_ was going to interrupt his Commander, to bring the Turian away from helping with the restoration and in front of the Medical Ward.

"Step away from the door turian, I need to talk to your commander. The Council wants to talk to her."

Garrus didn't bother, Council be damned; Shepard was in no position to be going anywhere.

"She can barely _walk_," Garrus half growled at the human ambassador who seemed so outrageously uncaring, "If the council want to talk to her then they're going to have to meet here– it's the least they can do considering she saved their lives."

"I demand that you let me through!"

Garrus didn't say anything, just continued to stand there – not bothering to cue in the numbers to the Medical Ward. If the Ambassador had been given permission by the doctors to see the Commander than he should have been given the code; otherwise, Garrus was more than content with leaving the Ambassador alone with his frustration.

"I demand that you let me in, right this moment!" Udina's comment was scathing but punctuated by tension, so revealed in the heightened pitch of his voice, "Shepard is only a Commander of the Alliance Navy, and as Ambassador I can act as her superior when the situation call for such. As such, she is under my jurisdiction, and if I ever _mention_ to the Brass that she _failed _to follow orders well then-"

He was interrupted suddenly as Garrus snarled at him, the much taller alien rigid with anger, his posture instantly readying for the conflict that seemed so imminent.

"Shepard is a member of the Spectres, the elite corps of the Citadel. If anything, she has to answer to the _Council. _And as far as any of us know – _they_ have been content to let her rest. Are you suggesting that your jurisdiction is higher than that of the Council?"

The Ambassador visibly paled, his mouth stilling his senseless ramblings. And then he was gone, darting away towards the makeshift building that was serving as the Council Chambers.

Garrus could only hope that he was as right about the Council as he had said.

*******

"Nora?"

Garrus entered the small ward room and watched silently as the human woman looked up from com-pad she was reading, a small smile on her face that faded a little when she saw him.

_So Kaiden had been right…_

Garrus didn't know whether to be angry at himself for not noticing it first or be jealous of the human man who _had_; the feel was entirely juvenile, but altogether comforting to the turian who still felt emotionally tender over the issue.

"Hello Garrus," the way she said his name made his heart squeeze, he would never take her presence for granted. Not after the events that had taken place such a short time ago.

"Did you need anything from any of the shops?" He allowed himself to take several steps closer, until he was at the corner of her bed, "New supplies just came in, and more than one shop keeper is asking about you."

The smile that lit his Commanders face made it that much harder to stay away from her, to keep his distance. He took several more steps closer, now almost parallel with where she sat on the bed.

"I suppose that anything for the Normandy would be a good buy," Nora said thoughtfully, leaning slightly towards him, "We have the credits for that, so go ahead and take a look. Double check with Tali though, I know there were a few things she wanted…though now that I think about it…I think everyone had something they claimed they wanted."

Nora turned her pale blue-purple eyes up to look him in the eye as if to say '_Except you', _"Was there something you wanted as well Garrus?"

_Did she even realize what she was asking?_

The sudden bolt of pain that stuck him through the chest should have been enough of an answer, but it didn't stop him from looking into her fathomlessly deep eyes and realize with a start that his hand was hovering just inches from her shoulder, the other already cupping the side of her face.

Stifling a small cry of terror Garrus pulled back suddenly, shooting away from the bed with a hasty apology before turning quickly to the door.

*******

_He really didn't care about her anymore did he?_

The aching of her wounds suddenly seemed so much less compared to the painful feeling of her heart being ripped to shredded bits. Even being attacked by Thresher Maws couldn't be as bad as this.

She couldn't let it end this way.

"Garrus please!"

Forcing her still healing body to push back the blanket on her lap and place both feet on the floor and pushed up onto her feet, half stumbling as she hurried to catch him, feeling her body protest at the exertion. Almost there…but he didn't turn around…he was already out the door…

"Nora?!"

He had just stepped out into the Wards, the door closing behind him when he had heard her calling him, only to turn around in terror as he saw her begin to crumble to the ground.

And then she was in his arms once more, caught before she could hit the ground, her soft human body settled protectively against his own. Against his chest Nora closed her eyes against the film of tears that threatened to spill.

If just for the few seconds it took to put her back in bed, he was holding her. It would kill her not to be able to feel his strength this way, would make it difficult to go back to the way it had been when they had first met; polite, restrained, professional.

Feeling the softness of the bed beneath her, Nora tensed, waiting with bated breath for him to pull away and walk out the door once again. But instead, she watched in silent wonder as he gave her an assessing look and then began to tuck her into the bed, choosing to settle beside her once he was finished instead of leaving.

_"Garrus?" _A whispered question so loaded with unspoken emotion, pain and love, that she could scarcely push it past her lips.

The arm hand wresting at her elbow moved to tentatively stroke the side of her face, the side of her neck and the top crest of her exposed shoulder.

His expression was so serious.

Looking at his face, at the now guarded vibrant blue of his eyes, Nora wondered what had happened that could have caused such a dramatic change in the one she loved.

She wished he would tell her.

One soft human hand reached up and touched the side of his face, tracing the deep blue patterning that lay there.

"I wish you would tell me what happened to us…" she said softly, her eyes welling with tears once more, "Because I don't want to give you up…"

And that was when Garrus shifted once more, this time so that he cradled her entire body beside his own, waiting until she was comfortably settled before he began to speak, and talk, and admit why he had stayed away for so long.

*******

Kaiden jogged around the relatively repaired Presidium and marveled at the work that had been done in such a relatively short amount of time. The unification of all civilizations towards a singular project were proving to be one of the most positive diplomatic projects ever undertaken, perhaps even more so than the Normandy with its mix of turian and human technology.

A sudden familiar flash of blue and tinkling laughter brought him up short, and as he caught sight of the two women sitting on one of the benches, he couldn't help but smile as well.

"It looks like you're doing much better."

His commander looked up at him from where she was talking with Liara and grinned, "Three months forced bed-rest and a helpful Asari doctor will do that. Maybe I should try that with you Alenko? You could use a little more 'glow.'"

The man just smiled back at her before shaking his head, he had to get going; running errands for the Council as a mailman was tough work. And so, without another word, though a playful wink at both women seated, he was off.

He didn't know how much longer they would have on the Citadel, but it wouldn't be much longer now.

*******

"Ambassador, Captain, Commander Shepard; this conversation has been meaning to happen for quite a while. But we are grateful that all three of you could be here, in perfectly health."

The Asari council member flashed a kind smile at Nora who managed to smile back, "We have gathered here to recognize the enormous contribution of the Alliance forces in the war against Sovereign and the geth."

The nasally voice of the Salarian council member took over where his companion had stopped, "Many humans lost their lives in the battle to save the Citadel. Brave courageous soldiers who willingly gave their lives so that we, the council, might live."

It would seem that the council was unified in their ideals, for no sooner had the Salarian finished when the final member of the Council spoke up.

"There is no greater sacrifice, and we share your grief over such a tragic loss of so many noble men and women."

"The Council also owes you a great personal debt Commander, one we can never repay. You saved not only our lives but the lives of billions of others from Sovereign and the Reapers."

Nora could feel the pride in her team well in her chest; _they had all done so very well, she could never have done it alone._

"Commander Shepard, your heroic and selfless actions serve as everything humanity and the Alliance stand for."

"And though we cannot bring back those valiant soldiers who gave their lives to save ours, we can honor their memory through our actions."

A soft smile then, at the memory of all of those she had met, those who had shown true heroism in the face of such terrible odds; Ashley and Kirrahe. She promised herself that they would not be soon forgotten.

"Humanity has shown that it is ready to stand as a defender and protector of the galaxy. You have proved you are worthy to join in our ranks and stand beside us on the Citadel Council."

*******

Nora stretched comfortably as she approached the familiar double doors of the Captain's quarters of the Normandy. The black Alliance issue uniform was comfortable in its familiarity, fitting like the well worn pair of combat boots she had saved from training camp as a cadet.

_It was good to be back._

She had left Captain Anderson in charge of representing the human race as a member of the Council, the choice natural and so wholly _right_ that she just the memory of it made her smile. She knew she would have precious little to smile over in the coming…she imagined it would be _years_, but each and every smile would be important. And so she would take what precious time she had now.

_Which happened to include…_

The doors slid open with a hiss to reveal the turian waiting patiently for her, his eyes warmly appraising as he took in the sight of the fitted uniform.

_A good homecoming indeed_…

And when at last they were both in her room, bodies pressed together, eyes locked and hands gently clasped they finally gave voice to what had come to inhabit their hearts so entirely through their long journey through space.

A soft phrase from her, timid and shy despite all she had gone through. A wish for a better future and one she would harbor in her heart; a promise to be there for him when he needed her, to be his leader and his lover, and to remain by his side for as long as time would allow.

For him, it was a murmured oath spoken with all of the conviction of his heart, with all the strength of his being and the affections that he couldn't possibly find _human_ words for; a vow in the depths of his heart to keep her safe, and a promise to be her sword and shield for whatever she may face.

And it was the ultimate surrender of self, for both of them. The complete trust in another; to lay everything on the line for the other and know they would do the same. Deeper than the ties between comrades, family, government or certain death; _love_ was the greatest vulnerability of all.

And yet, as Garrus listened to words of his lover and the adoration in her eyes, the turian realized quite emphatically that vulnerability had never been so strong.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

FIN


End file.
